To SAHM or not to SAHM

[tomme]

Since my DC were born I have been self employed and worked part time. I hate the industry I an in and have been accepted to do a degree starting in September to retrain. However I have suddenly realised that my deepest darkest desire is to stay at home and bring up my children DD 3.5 and DS 2. My husband has agreed he would be happy for me to do this until they leave primary school and possibly beyond.

The thing is lam terrified of being totally financially dependent on him and whilst totally happily married now I can't help thinking what if he leaves me years down the line and I have beer doing nothing how would I cope financially? I am not ashamed to say I like my standard of living (not loaded by any means) and do not want not to be able to provide this for me ad my children. My DH thinks I'm mental and think too much and should just do what would make me happy now i.e. SAHM full time

I just can't decide what todo mainly because I'm scared to jump into the unknown.

If you've made it this far thankyou.

Don't dwell on the "what ifs" too much or, if you must, ask yourself what if you suddenly found out you only had a short time left to live - would you really wish you'd spent more time at the office?

Have you talked to your DH?
I gave up work for a whole host of personal reasons but when we first met I was earning the most and I had been financially independent my whole life.
After I had been at home for a while it started to bother me that whilst home etc in both names he was the one with the money coming in. We talked about how the finances were arranged and worked something out that made much more sense for me. I am not worried about him leaving but I still felt better when he actively took steps to ensure that i was as financially independent as two married people who work as a team can be.
It was more the gesture I appreciated and now I wouldn't change out set up.
I just tried to find out what it was that would leave me, at the end of the day, feeling challenged and rewarded and happy. So this is what I do.

I agree with Pagwatch I left work a year ago almost to the day. I had gone back for 4 months after 12m on mat leave. mostly because my employers made it quite hard to go flexi, imo quite unjustly .

I love being a SAHM but I also loved my job, sometimes miss it and the 'dependent' bit has at times been hard, not so because of dh/ relationship in general but because I have been independent for so so long.

best of luck whatever you do