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Original poster

Pooing at work!

95 replies

Witchtower · 20/11/2019 17:48

My manager has asked me to time my bowel movements so that I can poo during my half hour lunch break. This is the first poo I have ever done at work!
Is this even legal?

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 20/11/2019 19:09

I have ulcerative colitis. It would be absolutely impossible for me not to poo at work.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 20/11/2019 19:10

I could NEVER poo at work. It just wouldn’t happen. My only colleagues I have spoken to this about are more vehement than me!

I know we all do it ... but at work....no no no.

inwood · 20/11/2019 19:10

I cannot get past answering the phone to your boss while you're having a shit.

inwood · 20/11/2019 19:11

For the record I poo a few times a day at work. Can't not. IBS.

bangheadhere40 · 20/11/2019 19:11

There is a book for this, I've read it. It's entitled 'how to poo at work'.

Original poster
Witchtower · 20/11/2019 19:12

I wasn’t planning on telling him I was doing a shit but he asked so I told.

OP posts:
oohnicevase · 20/11/2019 19:12

I don't understand this .. didn't you just say err no I can't time my toileting to a slim time slot .. if I need to go I go ffs ... ps fuck off !!
What an idiot !

DowntonCrabby · 20/11/2019 19:28

This is too funny to report.

bangheadhere40 · 20/11/2019 19:29

The book covers all eventualities....read it.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/11/2019 20:33

I don't believe this for a minute & I've reported.

carolina21 · 20/11/2019 21:19

Very lady like ? Answering the phone on the toilet ? And saying your doing a poo???

BennyTheBall · 20/11/2019 21:28

So many questions...

You answered the phone whilst using the toilet?

You told him you were mid poo?

I simply don't believe you.

And btw - MN seems to be the only place where most people are happy to poo at work. (IBS type things aside) Whenever this topic comes up at my place of work - almost everyone expresses horror at the idea. There is one exception - a woman on our floor who regularly poos at 10am. There is a communal rush to quickly go before she settles in and makes a terrible, lingering stink.

Gardai · 20/11/2019 22:20

Shit on his desk ? Problem solved.

isabellerossignol · 20/11/2019 22:25

Whenever this topic comes up at my place of work - almost everyone expresses horror at the idea

I'm expressing horror right now at the idea of discussing bowel habits with colleagues. I have no idea if any of my colleagues poo at work and I have no desire to know. As long as they do it in a toilet and flush it afterwards then I don't see a problem. Toilets aren't just for decoration, they exist for a reason. Avoiding using them for the purpose that they actually exist for is really strange.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 20/11/2019 22:35

If anyone asked me I would never admit to pooing at work. Or any public restroom.

Reality? Of course I do. I have to. When I need it, I need it. I don't have more than a few minutes to find the toilet.

Other people's attitudes to the poo EVERYONE does is the issue.

Btw. Your manager is Batshit. Grin

Royallyscrewed · 20/11/2019 22:35

I wonder what the reaction would have been if you’d said you’d got your period and were changing bloody u/wear.
Id speak to HR tbh- say his comments about your bowel habits were completely inappropriate. There’s some things you cannot control and needing the loo is one of them.
On the other hand OP you now know your boss is literally full of shit during work hours. And probably spends the afternoons with a sore stomach, merrily farting away in his office through a tightly clenched arsehole.

RaininSummer · 20/11/2019 23:11

I really don't understand how people can have a blanket rule that they just don't poo at work. Don't you get stomach pains or fart a lot of you need to go and hang on for hours? I was at the office from 8 to 8 today and I'd I had needed to go there's no way I could have held on. Anyway, there are no perks in my job so going on company time is as good as it gets

IndefatigableMouse · 20/11/2019 23:42

Ime when you get whole groups of women saying they don’t poo at work it’s because they’re very young or have never had any bowel issues.

I, like most I imagine, would prefer not to go at work. But if you have to...

BennyTheBall · 20/11/2019 23:44

I think everyone has different systems.

I never get pain or gas - not ever. So I could happily wait for days if needed. I don't, but if I am camping for example, where the loos are awful, I won't go until I get home (about 4 days).

Original poster
Witchtower · 21/11/2019 06:10

@EarringsandLipstick if you had read the thread you’d see it had already been reported by humerus people. MN have verified my account.

I cannot repeat that THIS IS TRUE!!!!!!

Secondly if you see the conversation I had I didn’t really plan on telling him I was doing a shit but as he asked what I was doing on the toilet I thought might as well tell him. If he’s got the balls to ask, I’ve got the balls to tell.

Thirdly if I need to poo at work I will. I can’t hold it. I generally empty my bowels before work so never needed to go at work but sometimes nature calls.

To everyone saying why not wait, why poo at work, you’re just as bat shit as the manager.
Holding a poo is so bad for your health.

OP posts:
Original poster
Witchtower · 21/11/2019 06:11

*numerous

OP posts:
BillywilliamV · 21/11/2019 06:13

I think it’s time that we all stopped indulging this particular weirdo, don’t you?

Original poster
Witchtower · 21/11/2019 06:28

@BillywilliamV

why?

I’ve come on here for some legal advice. Hence why I posted in employment and not AIBU?

Is that not what mumsnet is for?

I’m a weirdo because my manager won’t let me take a shite at work?

This is actually a very serious matter, whether you think it is or not. If you don’t then piss off off this thread. I’m actually here for valuable advice not people disbelieving it or calling people names.

If you don’t like what you see, don’t connect and move on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Witchtower · 21/11/2019 06:29

*comment

OP posts:
ifonly4 · 21/11/2019 10:51

I understand him trying to contact you if for example no one knew where you were. Maybe you didn't need to confirm it was a poo though.

Having said that, if you've got to go, you've got to go - most of us would only hang on a few minutes. I wonder if he only has a wee in his half hour break as well?