Tips for coping

[stackhead]

I'm going back to work full time in January after 6 months maternity. It's a new job so I'm quite excited about the new challenge and my daughter will be staying at home with her dad.

I'm feeling a little anxious and guilty about going back to work. I'll be out of the house almost 7-7 for 4 days and WFH on one. And I feel like im never going to see her.

I'm just looking for any practical tips for going back. How did you cope? Is there anything I should do to prepare?

I'm in exactly the same boat. I still feel really anxious but we are finally making some progress getting her to accept formula and fall asleep on daddy so the situation looks a bit less bleak. I'm hoping that going back now will mean she doesn't really understand the time lag, then gets used to it, then never has to suffer knowing I left her, like she might have done if I waited until she was 1. It's a silly thing I'm telling myself to make myself feel better.

I think she's gradually becoming a bit more confident so hopefully in a month or two will be an easier baby for my husband to manage. Unless me going back sets her development back again!

Main thing I am worried about now is the lack of sleep as we are still up 4/5 times a night. I'm in a small flat so even if husband starts taking over I hear everything and am awake anyway as I can't sleep through her crying.

How are you? Xx

She just won't suffer or resent you for leaving. Neither of my boys suffered or showed any signs whatsoever they loved me less or were less bonded with me, if anything I think it made us closer. Stop beating yourself up! ☺️.

I hear you on sleep. My youngest cries blue murder if my husband tries to get him back to sleep so I don't bother and just deal with it myself. Last night I was up 12 times with him. The one thing I can say is your body will adjust. I am typically up every 1.5-2hrs and initially this killed me (dizzy, neauscous) but I got used to it. I would try and get your husband to get up with her on your one day working from home and try and get some more sleep. I used to try and do my WFH day on Wednesday to try and get through it x

Thanks you @LizWatson1986! I hope she doesn't. That's a good idea re: WFH day. You must be so so tired, 12 times has got to be some kind of record. What a superwoman! It has to get better at some point doesn't it? 6 more months they aren't still going to be sleeping like gremlins 🤞

How is everyone doing? I'm struggling to be honest. My maternity cover went "off sick" so didn't see me for a handover and didn't even send me anything, so I've got shedloads of work to do that she promised HQ and never sent. I've been working this weekend between dealing with teething clingy baby. Also they've given me the first aid room to pump in, which has been in use sometimes when I've tried to use it, and I've also had people try to walk in on me (it's an access code door) which has been really stressful. I feel really overwhelmed to be honest, between all of that and also doing driving lessons and also trying to sell my flat.
What's it been like for everyone else? X

Gosh, lots going on for you. I can totally understand how you feel overwhelmed.

Pumping is such a ball ache isn't it?! I'm still doing it for my 11 month old, mostly to keep supply up as he will barely touch a bottle. I pump in the toilet as there are no meeting rooms. The cubicles are self contained and I use hand sanitizer. I hate people pulling on the door handle, I then feel under pressure to hurry up. I also hate getting the bottle bag out of the fridge infront on people and then they ask me if I am having lunch early. I am like 'nope, just going to milk myself' 🤣

How are you feeling about your bond with your little one?

How is sleep? I had to resort to very mild sleep training with our 11 month old as he was up every hour and I just couldn't do it anymore. Just pick up put down but no tears or anything so he was obviously ready to start going to sleep with just me there and not needing to be rocked and fed (although I still do this until he's drowsy)

Hope all is well xxx

Can I revive this thread? About to go through the same and there is some fab advice on here. Would love to know how you're all doing and any tips now you're back?