Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Pressure to WFH when signed off sick

27 replies

Scarlett555 · 01/10/2019 19:42

I'm 11 weeks pregnant with horrendous morning sickness. I took a week of annual leave to rest then recently had another 1.5 weeks off sick.

Went to the doctors yesterday who confirmed HG. I've lost weight, vomiting multiple times a day and struggling to keep food and fluids down. Doctor signed me off work for another 3 weeks.

This is unprecedented for my team and company. There's a culture of working very hard and very long hours and even one sick day from a team member is a disaster in the eyes of the Director.

I was scared to tell my boss but I did... his reaction was 'well what are you capable of doing?'

I explained that I was as capable as any person suffering with the norovirus + the worst hangover of their life as that is how I feel.

He has asked me to WFH on some project work today then sent me a list of tasks to do at 5pm. He will expect them done by tomorrow.

Just got DD to bed and simply can't face it. I do have a few moments of respite from the sickness but I need them to try and shower or force down some dry toast.

Any advice on how to deal with this without damaging relations with my boss and team?

OP posts:
Original poster
Scarlett555 · 01/10/2019 20:07

Anyone? HR people?

OP posts:
flowery · 01/10/2019 20:08

You need to respond to your boss saying you are unable to work as you are too ill, and suggest he makes arrangements to cover your responsibilities for the coming three weeks.

If you feel you will be able to check emails to triage urgent stuff/forward to others to deal with, you could offer that, but don't feel you have to.

He would have to be insane to start hassling someone off sick with pregnancy-related illness to work.

confusedandemployed · 01/10/2019 20:10

Well you have to stand your ground, respond and say no you're sick with a pregnancy-related illness. It's not appropriate to expect you to work: either olyou are fit for work or you are not.

If your company is so backward it's possible they will try to discipline or fire you. However provided they know it's pregnancy related that's a fairly watertight case for discrimination.

tattychicken · 01/10/2019 20:11

You have been signed off as you are not fit to work. Not "fit to work at home but not in office". Your boss is being unreasonable. Don't pick up emails or check in. I would send one email only reminding him of the above and saying you will not be responding to emails as you are ill.

Original poster
Scarlett555 · 01/10/2019 20:17

He asked in his email how I'd got on today working from home today and I said 'I've struggled to be honest as I'm really unwell' ... yet he still sent me more work to do.

When I spoke to him yesterday I got a massive guilt trip about how busy the team are and how much they've had to pick up with me being off. I felt trapped into agreeing to do stuff.

Any suggestions on how to word my response?

OP posts:
Lulualla · 01/10/2019 20:21

You need to make it clear. You need to explain that you think he might be confused, as you're being treated as though they have given you flexible working from home, when in actual fact you have been signed off sick with pregnant related illness and cannot work, from home or otherwise. It is your right. You are protected. You could work for them for decades. Taking a few weeks of sickness and a year or 2 of maternity leave really isn't a big ask.

tattychicken · 01/10/2019 20:23

Do you have an HR team?

LaserShark · 01/10/2019 20:23

Be clear and direct - don’t apologise, whatever you do. This isn’t your fault. He is in the wrong.

Original poster
Scarlett555 · 01/10/2019 20:27

Thank you for the support everyone. I was beginning to doubt myself.

Yes it's actually a big company with an HR team so I could feasibly get in touch with HR.

OP posts:
PaperAeroplanes · 01/10/2019 20:30

Sounds like the place I used to work. I was actually trying to send emails when hospitalised during my pregnancy HmmShock. However this was partly my fault , should have just said fuck it. Made redundant a few years later (heavily pregnant with no. 2), I'm not bitter at all....is it the legal profession by any chance?!

Hopefully HR will set them straight.

wouldyouadamandeveit · 01/10/2019 20:31

Get in touch with HR ASAP. He may not be clued up about being signed off sick, but I can assure you he should not be contacting you about work related stuff in any way shape or form.

I had a message from a previous twat of a boss saying 'I'm doing my best not to message you and ask how I do 'X', 'Y' etc. HR got straight on it when I let them now.

Level75 · 01/10/2019 20:35

I'm assuming you have a fit note, in which case write something like this:

The GP has said that I'm not well enough to work at the moment. This is the correct assessment of my current state of health. If I'm well enough to work in any capacity (whether from home or reduced hours in the office) the GP will advise us both of this and detail it in the fit note. For now, I'm unable to work until the expiry of this fit note on DATE. I'm very much hoping to be better by then, but if not I'll go back to the GP and get them to advise in what capacity, if any, I can return to work. I entirely appreciate this is inconvenient for the team but I've been advised I need to prioritise my health and that of my unborn child.

You could soften a bit if needed. That's not my forte!

Level75 · 01/10/2019 20:36

Just seen your other message. HR should be all over this so utilise them. Best of luck.

Original poster
Scarlett555 · 01/10/2019 20:39

PaperAeroplanes I bet you got no thanks for it either!

Nope it's not the legal profession, but a cutthroat company. There's constant restructures.

I took out redundancy insurance before I got pregnant as I'm convinced they will get rid of me at some point.

I realise it's partly my fault for being a workhorse and not putting my foot down yesterday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Scarlett555 · 01/10/2019 20:43

Thank you for the suggestion @Level75 I will write something to that effect tomorrow. If he is difficult then I will go to HR.

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 01/10/2019 20:46

Dear Boss,

As I have currently been signed off by my GP I cannot work either in the office or at home as I am too unwell.

I understand that the team is busy and, seeing as I will be unable to consider a return until DATE when my note expires, there needs to be another solution to cover my work as I will no longer be logging in or checking my emails.

As DATE approaches I will keep you updated on how I am feeling and if I feel able to return or if I am still unwell and may require further sick leave.

As discussed and indicated on my fit note, this is due to HG which is a serious pregnancy related illness.

I will do my best to keep in touch and update you on my health etc but this will be via my personal email address of [email protected] so please send any necessary HR comms to this. I won't be able to reply to any actual work related questions etc

Thanks in advance for your understanding.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/10/2019 20:49

Sorry you’re suffering so much Flowers

What FusionChefGeoff said is excellent.

Original poster
Scarlett555 · 01/10/2019 20:53

Amazing! Thank you so much @FusionChefGeoff ! That is perfect

OP posts:
BatmanLovesTheCircus · 02/10/2019 14:35

@Scarlett555 how has today been?

Apolloanddaphne · 02/10/2019 14:45

Have you managed to resolve anything today

Teensruletheroost · 02/10/2019 23:44

@Scarlett555 Hope you sorted it out with your boss today and they realise you are actually ill and not just lounging round on the sofa.

daisychain01 · 03/10/2019 13:22

@Scarlett555 your Fitnote from your GP is legally binding.

All you need to say to your Director is that you are absent due to Pg related illness and your GP has stated you need 24/7 rest and recuperation.

You could highlight the risk to them as an Employer if anything were to happen to you or your unborn child when you were being forced to work even while signed off with a Fit Note, then it would become a legal matter.

Lay it on the line, and honestly you need to step away from your work computer and not be bullied into working against your GP's instructions.

Teddybear45 · 03/10/2019 13:28

Put on an out of office to say you are off sick and not checking your emails.

Hoppinggreen · 03/10/2019 20:09

You’ve had excellent advice from the professionals on here but I just wanted to add that when I was in a similar situation my HR dept told me that if my GP had said I couldn’t work they couldn’t let me even if I wanted to as it exposed them to too much risk.
Hope you get some respite soon, it’s awful, I threw up most days when I was pg with DD and lost 2 stone!

dontdoxmeeither · 04/10/2019 09:14

Hope your having complete rest. Can't offer any further support or advice but this makes me so mad!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.