Extremely sensitive employee - how best to manage/support appropriately

[milesandmilesandmileandmiles]

I hope this is an acceptable title.

We are a small company of eight staff. The employee in question has been with us 14 months nearly.

The quality of her work is absolutely fine, we have no issue in this regard. She's had quite a number of absences for physical issues and has also recently disclosed she suffers from severe anxiety and depression, for which she is having treatment. She's had some time off for this too and we've supported her and checked on her wellbeing.

She's extremely sensitive and can get upset very easily, and then this blows up into a drama. I don't think there's been a week in the last few where we've not had tears at some point at work.

An example would be yesterday where her line manger asked her not to use a new system until he himself was fully au fait with it and had transferred relevant information to it. Within five minutes, she was using the new system. When 'reprimanded' (for want of a better word), and after said line manager leaves the room, the tears flow and she tries to involve other employees. Which she tends to do if she feels 'slighted'

I was not at this incident, but line manager is now feeling he's treading on eggshells constantly. He did take her for a coffee and a chat this morning in the canteen and checked on her well being, but reiterated that she'd ignored a request that he'd given her. We've provided training for him in managing staff, which he's been happy to participate in. At no point has anyone had any issues before, he's an unbelievably affable chap!

She's pretty hard work in truth, and takes up a lot of our time. Other employees are starting to say things like 'why is everything such a drama' etc.

Are there any resources out there to help us all, she needs to be able to take instruction and accept criticism without being so sensitive. Am I coming at it from the wrong angle? More training for the rest of us? Is it us being insensitive?

TIA.

She sounds like a drama-queen nightmare, and if you let her pass her probation she'll be a nightmare to get rid of.

This shows how much you know (not)!

Probation is completely irrelevant in this circumstance and the employee will be no less of a "nightmare to get rid of" as you put it the day before passing probation than the day after

I would be considering managering her out of the job asap. Using a system she was expressly told not to use , and then making you all feel guilty when she was told off is a big red flag, she is starting to upset your other employees ...she could just be manipulative

I would get rid of her now before she has been employed for 2 years. She will not be able to claim unfair dismissal then.

If you keep her on, she will destroy morale in your business and that is hugely precious and hard to get back.

Speak to an employment lawyer

Some very good advice here. What sort of things is she posting on social media, and does your company have a policy re social media?

Sorry, meant to add this:

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3378

SHELTER have advice for teh employee

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/leaving-a-job/dismissal/check-if-your-dismissal-is-fair/

Note: how long you’ve worked for your employer - you can usually only challenge a dismissal if you've worked there 2 years or more

So, if you can gather evidence of her errors, and ignore her health record, you can simply tell her that she is no longer required. If she tries to sue you can show, amply, that you took an extended period of time to try and make all sorts of changes to accommodate her needs, but, maybe, the wilful ignoring of a specific instruction by a manager was the last straw!

Firstly, I think you've handled it well so far because it's been more of an ad-hoc thing - but now it's becoming more frequent, you need more of a plan to deal with it.

Secondly - tbh, the escalation makes me think she will leave herself or get signed off for a period of time, as I think she knows she has backed herself into a corner now.

You could implement a social media policy (don't slag the firm off) but it doesn't sound as if that's what she's doing, just passive-aggressive meme to attention-seek.

I don't see the problem in putting mental health on the app if only yourself and the employee sees it, and would continue to do this if she leaves work. As she is not being paid any further sick leave other than SSP, this will mean unpaid leave.

No more cosy chats over coffee, formalise these meetings with notes that she gets a copy of afterwards.

Thanks for the further comments. I've been reading and taking on board.

I might not cover all the points raised but we do have full and comprehensive contracts, policies and procedures - these have been drafted by our employment consultants and are up to date, in fact a couple of months old only.

The social media posts are exactly as described in a PP, references or memes about toxic people or negativity if an incident has occurred that day but nothing specific.

I'm very grateful for the links too, particularly the workplace assessment and associated grants/funding etc.

Fair point, I've only considered that her performance is fine where she's actually in the office and not emotional, and that others are covering that bridge when she's either upset or absent.

I've spoken to our advisors, and been given some specific advice about particular incidents but they've also suggested many of the things this thread already has - which is great!

Document everything going forward.
Specific phrases and how to word points/questions etc.
That as long as we remain professional and reasonable, her reaction is hers to control, we can only ask her to take a moment to compose herself but continue with any points needed.
Time a meeting towards the end of the day so if she becomes too emotional to work, it's in her time.
We can ask her to come to either myself or line manager if she has an issue, as we are responsible for her welfare. Then, if she involves other members of staff, she's ignoring our instructions.

Basically, it's okay to be a bit firmer really as everything we are asking is reasonable.

We can also access a scheme which provides employees counselling services, legal advice etc etc for a pretty low cost to us as a business, which I'll consider as it's something I can offer her, to help with any MH issues and get back on track.

If you asked my gut reaction, I'd say she takes advantage or is taking advantage now, I can see we've been accommodating and tried to be supportive. I'm not suggesting her MH issues are not real this statement notwithstanding. I also know none of our other employees would behave like this, and their needs are important too.

From experience I'd get rid of her. I imagine she's taking up a disroportionate amount of everyone's time. But you'll have to take advice in order not to get caught out by Equality Act. But it sounds like her performance isn't brilliant if she can't take instructions, isn't fitting in with the team and has to go home if she's tackled about behaviour or performance.

I haven't asked about letting her go yet with the consultants, just to be clear.

Miles did the consultants say anything about evidence of her condition?

As I said upthread, I think she's realised she has backed herself into a corner and will leave herself one way or another. Especially if she gets the feeling that she has lost the support of her colleagues, which she seems dangerously close to doing ATM!

It won't help with the legal angle as she is US-based, but askamanager.org is very good at explaining how to lay down the line on this kind of scenario: I.e. 'this is what I need to see from you to be successful in this role or we will have to part ways', and it absolutely includes being able to follow instructions.

It's hardly going to get better, is it?

Thanks, hadn't heard of askamanager.

I didn't probably take my questions in the right direction when I spoke to the consultants, the conversation was lengthy and more directed towards performance management and dealing with her in general. I assume that if we do let her go, I'd have to take this route anyway?

I wonder if it's worth asking about evidence, seeing what I'm allowed to ask. She knows we looked into a OH assessment before it proved too expensive, so assume she'd be aware we'd need to see medical records to facilitate this.

I'm aware it's probably unlikely to get better, agreed, but I'm also assuming we need to give the the chance to improve?

“I'm aware it's probably unlikely to get better, agreed, but I'm also assuming we need to give the the chance to improve?”

Well that rather depends on how you want to handle this and what risk you may be willing to accept. I would speak to the consultants again and discuss how this could play out through different options including exiting now.

I'm aware it's probably unlikely to get better, agreed, but I'm also assuming we need to give the the chance to improve? You do have enough there to support you in letting her go.

You need to have a back up plan, if she doesn't cooperate more, can't cope with the work environment as it really is. If I were you I would ask about how to let her go. At least understand what that would mean, what you would have to do. That way you can both try to do even more than the already long list of supportive thngs you have done and be prepared for the worst.

I would ask you again to remember to protect the compnay as a whole, not do the other staff a disservice in trying to accommodate her every need. That is not what employment law requires of you!

I think you'd have to get her permission to access her medical records so she could refuse which would leave you none the wiser tbh.

I have come across people who have refused OH appointments in my time (former HR worker).

If you want her out, then you need to make it entirely about her performance and not her sickness record/disability.

I would go back to your consultant, tell them you want her to go and then take it from there.

I work with someone like this and she is like a dementor - she sucks all the joy out of the team, everyone walks on eggshells and she gets away with absolute murder. She has been there for years though so we're stuck with her.

You have almost a year to sort this out so use your time wisely otherwise you may find yourself losing your most valuable members of staff because they are sick of her and the hoops they are having to jump through to keep her happy.

Get rid. ASAP. Pre 2 years.

Irrespective of MH she directly and purposely disobeyed a direct instruction.
You are being far too accommodating.
You say her work is good? But it isn't. She worked on a system when directly told by a manager not to.

OP I am not a lawyer

Having mental health issues myself, I can only say that I'm quite sure she can't ask you to put her in territory where it needs consideration as a disability, but not give you evidence to show that.

otherwise I would have thought people would be doing it willy nilly!

if she refuses to get a doctor to provide the relevant information, she can't argue for it to be considered as a factor in her work. If it's not a factor in her work, I'd be wanting to fire her immediately - what you have described is the person no one wants to work with.

no one should need extra training because they asked someone not to use a particular system, the person ignored the instruction - then cried, then tried to involve others in the office?! if there are no mitigating circumstances, and this type of thing happens regularly, she's just a crap member of staff.

PS I hope you won't be offended by this but I have seen so many managers let staff behave this way because they can't face firing them, because the person will make a fuss.

never mind the fuss. It's law that matters here. I'd spend money on legal advice before wasting it on training that her co-workers don't need, or "resilience" training for her, which will be a waste of money.