I want to work but my dd said it’s not worth

[sk3270]

Hi all,

I am recently on an accounting course and got all distinctions. I have found myself that I love it. So I felt now I should look for a job.

When I have realised that normal working hours for any accounting role is 9-5 and I could get between 16- 20k a year(full time), monthly £1,333-£1,666 (weekely £333.25-£416.50 before tax).

But then again, I will have to put my son for breakfast club and after school club costing £17.60 per day equivalent £352 per month (£88 per week) during the term time. Alright. I will have to sacrifice. However, during school holidays, average childminder offered £10-£12 an hour, will cost £90-£108 a day(9 hours a day include take and pick up), will end up paying £450-£540 per WEEK. This is way more than I could possibly earn.

I asked my husband what he thinks and he said “it’s not worth, why don’t you get a job at a restaurant or a shop at the weekend? and I don’t want anyone looks after our son. I will look after our son while you work”. I slammed “you’d better earn enough then!” with anger. I have no family here. My in-laws won’t help us with a full commitment. I am more than sad, cried so much that night I spoke with him that I have to give up my opportunities. I have paid course fees and willing to study further for NOT WORTH?(not cheap either).

Should I get a job that I don’t want?
Should I change my career to a teaching assistant which I can work during the term time only? (This is not what I want to do either)

How are you guys manage working and childcare cost?

Childcare is a joint cost so you should not look at it just in terms of your wages
Also, that might be what you earn initially but it will go up and you should be earning a lot more in a short time

You are vastly over estimating holiday club care, if you do hussy club it would be £50 max (if you can swing school hours only during holidays you will be able to get much cheaper, I pay £75 for 8-3-30 for a for day week in London/Surrey.

You are also going to be increasing your opportunities as he gets older to earth more and progress.

I think you need to look again at costs

^holiday club!

I’m in the same situation. Childcare would cost more than I would earn. So basically I can’t work. Unfortunately that’s the reality of motherhood for many women who aren’t high earners.

Childcare costs don't just come out of your wages though (or they shouldn't!) - they should come out of the joint family income.

Yes, it costs to work (I am a freelancer and work from home so am acutely aware of the fact I don't pay travel, lunches, clothes, coffees or childcare) but it will be worth it in the medium term if not the short term.

• your own self-esteem will rise, it will do you good to work outside the home
• you won't always be on the same salary, you are clearly bright, you will get promotions as you get more experienced
• that means your earnings will rise (and eventually your childcare costs will come down)
• you will be a great role model for your child
• if anything happens to your husband (illness) or your relationship (divorce) you will have a means to support yourself and your family
• also you may be able to work part-time, part-time jobs are harder to get but they do exist. For example, a charity I volunteer with has a 3 day a week book-keeper/payroll/admin person.

You may be entitled to tax credits to help with childcare, or your employer may offer schemes to help (I know these have changed recently but hopefully another poster will know more).

Don't

*Don't give up your dreams

You may be able to get childcare vouchers with your job, which would reduce costs (I assume these still exist, I haven't needed them for years)

Also you and your husband will both get holiday from your jobs, so you shouldn't need cover for all of the school holidays.

Earning your own money and progressing in a career is important, don't give up on the idea just because the net financial gain at the start will be small.

It's not just about money, it's about your independence and doing something that you enjoy. Obviously you need to be realistic about costs but your husband can't just dictate to you about this.

Also I'm sure there are PT accountancy jobs out there.

Tax free childcare vouchers will reduce the cost. You will get annual leave as does your DH, which means DC will not be in holiday club all the time.

As a PP has said already, work is not just about money, it's about purpose and self esteem. So yes it is worth it if it's what you want to do. Sit down with your DH and have another talk about it.

I’m in the same situation. Childcare would cost more than I would earn. So basically I can’t work. Unfortunately that’s the reality of motherhood for many women who aren’t high earners

Nope. Childcare costs aren’t solely the mother’s responsibility.

As pp have said, it should be viewed out of the household income. If it is affordable out if both salaries then that is completely different to mother’s salary not covering the cost alone.

Also that is very short term. Probably the 5 years max of primary school? In that 5 years you will lose earning potential, pension, promotion, if you can get back into the work world at all.

If you want to work it is nearly always worth working in the long term.

Childcare is a family cost. Your husband should be supporting you as much as you support him, regardless of who earns what.

as PPs have said, why are you paying for childcare? It is a joint cost.

Can your DH look at altering his hours to suit?

Also, from reading on here, certainly the Big Four accountancy firms seem to be very on board with flexible working. You should probably bear that in mind when job hunting.

Your DH sounds like a bit of an arse, tbh.

You’ll probably get pay rises and could move up the ladder. Your dc won’t always cost that much in childcare.
I had two children in nursery at one point and my net pay was so low but I knew it was always short term.

Childcare is a cost only incurred when you are both working.

There will be jobs that are part-time, term-time or with flexible working. Lots of summer holiday care is cheaper ie holiday clubs. Be more positive and tell your husband to be too, all women should have some financial independence. Also, your husband needs to step up and parent, he's had it easy with you at home.

Childcare costs aren’t solely the mother’s responsibility. As pp have said, it should be viewed out of the household income

I really don’t understand why people can’t get their heads around this. If we both earn £1k each and childcare costs £500, we have £1500 left whichever way you look at it.

If we both pay £250 and each have £750 left, we have a total of £1500.

If I pay £500 and have £500 left, and DH pays nothing and has £1000 left - we still have a total of £1500.

Childcare isn’t cheaper or more affordable just because you view it as a shared cost. If childcare costs more than one person earns, then whichever way you look at it, the family as a whole still has less money if that person works vs if they SAH. It’s basic maths.

The initial cost might hurt, but you can double your salary in three years if you undertake ACA/ACCA with the accountancy firm via a training contract.

For context, I am in the sector (different specialty) and went from 20k starting wage, to 26k after 18 months, then 35k after another year, then 6 months later to 42k.

My jump from 20k to 42k has taken just over 3 years. In a couple of years I hope to be at manager grade and on approximately 55k. Senior managers are on about 70k.

Accountancy is a career to invest in (if it doesn't bore you to tears) as the salary after qualification is above the average. It's a worthwhile investment.

Do as my friend does - self employed bookkeeper studying p/t a well to be an accountant. Insurance for said SE role is minimal. She now has heaps of regular customers all small businesses and keeps their books up-to-date, works closely with a firm of accountants who feed her work (largely data inpu) they don't want to do and she feeds them the work she's not yet qualified to do (eg auditing accounts, tax advice). I think she charges around £20-£25/hour now - she says when she gets too busy she puts her rates up. Does all her work in the daytime now child is in school, but previously did evenings, is now studying part time for ACCA qualifications.

There are public sector accountancy jobs with quite flexible working patterns. It's also quite likely that a job will let you do 9.30-5.30, if you have school drop off, so no breakfast club.

Start applying for jobs, there's no advantage to not applying and just giving up. If you get an offer, but there's no flexibility, then decide based on the real facts, the real hours, the actual wage - this quitting without trying based on hypothetical things is cowardly and daft. You don't have to take a job that doesn't work for you, but you don't throw away all your studying without even trying.

Accounting can also be done remotely or working from home for small businesses etc. I'm now heading for 50 and think it's one golf the best possible qualifications. Loot at some of the GIG sights to see what offers are out their. And remember that childcare is not just your problem.

When I first went back to work (not of own volition -XH left) I earned less than my bills came to and I got into some debt. However, my salary increased, childcare was less expensive as they started school, and I was able to get better paying jobs. If I'd been a bit smarter I probably could have avoided some of the debt but hey ho - we survived.

So it's quite short-sighted to think because the outgoings are the same or not much different to the salary that it's not worth it. You're building up a career, pension contributions as well as self-esteem and value. And you obviously have a talent for accountancy and that opens up lots of opportunities for flexible working and higher earning capacity in the future.

Well done on the distinctions!

Whatever you do, don't become a TA if you don't actually want to do it!!

I think you should get an accounting job. Over the course of a year you'll still be bringing in more money that is going out on childcare. You'll be out of the house and doing something that you love. And, as PPs mentioned, there is a lot of scope for progression and hopefully some flexible working hours / working from home.

Yes, if you accept that you’re making a financial loss by working at present in order to improve your future prospects, then that’s fine. But if you can’t afford to make that loss then it matters not one bit whether you consider it to be a shared cost or an individual cost. A loss is a loss, if you can’t afford it then you can’t work.

Childcare isn’t cheaper or more affordable just because you view it as a shared cost. If childcare costs more than one person earns, then whichever way you look at it, the family as a whole still has less money if that person works vs if they SAH. It’s basic maths.

Exactly. I don’t understand why people keep saying this as who pays it is irrelevant really. If a SAHP goes back to work, it will increase the family income by x amount, and childcare will decrease it by y amount, whether it’s paid for by one or both parents. So yes, for many, going back to work will reduce the family income by more than it increases it, making it unaffordable.

OP, there are lots of options available to you:

• tax free childcare
• holiday clubs
• flexible working
• compressed hours
• working from home
• self-employment
• careful use of annual leave
• part time
• staggering working hours with DH so one can do drop offs and one picks up

Some of these depend on what’s available locally to you / what your DH does

When you have a consistent income and variable childcare costs it’s also important to look at the costs over the year, average it out to a monthly cost and see how that looks. Make sure you’re putting money aside all year for the more expensive months.

I am sure you can get holiday childcare for less than £100 a day for a school age child but even if you can’t, average it out over the year and you’re still making a profit. Over time your earnings will increase and childcare needs will decrease as they’re older and more able to look after themselves. Tax free childcare would help a lot.

Lay it out - how many weeks at say £500 a week, how many at £88 a week? How many weeks annual leave to reduce that? How would your tax be reduced by your childcare bill? How many years of this before you won’t need to pay for clubs before and after school?

Those childcare costs sound very high. Are there no other options available?

You can also consider ways to bring the cost down e.g. one parent starts early while the other starts late (so can do morning drop off) and works late. Remember you and your DH can split your annual leave, you can also do child care "swaps" with friends - you don't have to pay for childcare for every day of every holiday.

So yes, for many, going back to work will reduce the family income by more than it increases it, making it unaffordable

That would only be the case if the current income only covered outgoings with sufficient money to put into a private pension for the SAHP. Too often, childcare is seen as the mother's bill when the other parent is bringing in a significantly higher salary. So the sums cancel out the mother's salary rather than accounted as a household cost.