Thank you so much for everyone who has commented on my post. I nearly cried while reading you guys comments.
This should have been a separate post. In short, I have a bit more complicated issues. I have a lawsuit about to be going on with my kitchen designer and that will cost the hell.(I will have to prepare it solely my own of course with my solicitor)
I also have been thinking of divorce too as some of you mentioned about my DH.
My husband is English and I am from Asia. We met in London and moved to the Northeast and got married, bought a house, had a baby. I have been a breadwinner at the beginning of our relationship for about 2.5 years from my own savings worked very hard back in my country even though I have never had any jobs in the UK. That was fine as long as my DH supports the same way I did.
I had to pay everything for him(clothes, food, you name it) and do everything myself with my broken English(oh lord, my English was so terrible that I could not understand a word especially on the phone never mind that north east accent) ; visa application, buying a house, buying a car for taking my child to Nursery at freezing winter. Whatever has been my sole business and responsibility include visa and childcare.
When he finally got a job as an agent labour in a construction site and got paid the first wage, he gave me everything he earned, before second pay, he told me that “non of my friends gives all the money to wife. I want to have my own money” so I said “ok, it’s your money. you need some for yourself too” since then he has given me probably 2/3 of his income. That’s it. no other joint responsibilities exist in our relationship. I cannot disagree that he is working so hard days at work and two nights per week for his loving club and weekends to improve our house though. When I tell him that I need to go over to my rental house for a viewing at the weekend, he would immediately react “arr.(sign) again, why should WE have to sacrifice?”
When I first applied my visa, he was out of work so I had to be my own feet. When I extended my visa, he also out of work(quit even though I told him it’s not a good idea to quit before my visa extension as I desperately wished him to be my financial supporter as my husband).
Now I have to apply for my resident visa but he has no interest at all.( he probably thinks “that’s your business).
I don’t know how many people out there think what’s man’s job and what’s woman’s job to keep happy family. So many things to say but rather say shortly. I have been feeling like I am a single mum with two kids( one is immature old boy) with a big mouth.
So, why I was very sad because he is back to an agent job after quit a luxurious job) so his income cannot cover our expenses on its own and he has no savings at all. I had money when I met him so it did’t really matter whether he has money or not and I am not a gold digger(a bit regret lol) because I loved him but I recently lost most of my savings and his support that I expected has been so lacked, emotionally and financially.
How he talks so so negative and unimaginable: such as half of what you have is mine, when our child turns 18, you will have to sell this house so I will have half(I learned the UK law from him, yes I get that), when I was pregnant he threatened me that he will ring the Home office then you will have to go back to your country in two months. I will not support for THAT child in your tummy, my child is English and won’t go anywhere, he will stay with me. You have leave my country, all sorts whenever I mentioned about divorce and that time I already bought a house for us and was pregnant and felt really trapped.
Anyhow, he has been a good father, I have no doubt but I don’t love him anymore so I need to be independent but yes, I was coward to worry about only today, not future.
I won’t quit and I will survive.
Thank you so so much for all of your support.