I am so fucking fed up re my (lack of) career

[BackwardsGoing]

Been with the same company six years. Report to the (female) CEO. Keep being told I'm doing a good job to my face but only had one tiny promotion in those six years.

Am watching younger, less experienced, less talented people being given opportunities and promotions past me. Before motherhood I worked at a much more senior level.

Boss keeps saying I am future COO material but I'm not being given the opportunity to get involved in enough things to develop.

The SMT is a cliquey closed shop which excludes everyone outside the immediate circle.

And I can't leave easily. I live in a very rural area. Senior management jobs are incredibly rare. Nearest city of any size is 1hr45 minutes away, and even that place is economically depressed.

DH and DD are happily settled and won't countenance a move. I'm the main earner by far but even if I wasn't my career is really important to me.

I recognise that I am in a downward spiral of being fed up, implicitly and explicitly communicating that fed-up-ness to my colleagues, getting a reputation for being difficult or negative and spiralling downwards

I've talked about it all to my boss but I sense she is just bored and frustrated with my whining. She's the CEO so has a lot more issues going on than me.

I don't really know what I'm asking.

Sometimes handing your notice in is an opportunity for a current job to suddenly realise they need you and offer more.

Thing is, that doesn’t always happen so you have to actually want any job that you go for.

I think they are taking you for granted. And often women do get passed over for no reason.

@Skipthisbit are you my boss?

Why can't they just be bloody honest and say "you've reached your level for now, sorry".

No I’m not! I think it’s very poor behaviour tbh from a CEO. I’d question their leadership abilities tbh. If they have 1-2-1 coaching or review or whatever system set up, they have the perfect mechanism to be assessing competency and ambition and to support staff achieving their goals. But it sounds like your CEO is just going through the motions ......
In your position, I’d be blunt. Just have a direct conversation that says what you’ve said here.....”I think I’m capable of more and I’m looking for promotion within the next 6 months; this is why ..... (incl evidence where you have successfully achieved something that shows this) so I’d like to know why I’m being overlooked. Give examples where you have been. I can’t develop/improve if I don’t know what it is you feel I’m lacking so you need to tell me what it is and then we can agree what I need to do in order to demonstrate my capabilities in this area”

So a relatively unexciting update.

An utter dream job came up. Perfect for me in every way. I spent hours perfecting my application and roped in some trusted people to give me feedback. Unfortunately so did over 100 other people and I didn't even get an interview. Still feeling very disappointed.

My boss, the CEO, has made vague noises about retiring and has started to hand over the reins to their deputy in order to take on a more ambassadorial role. As part of this change I will be reporting to the deputy from next year. Maybe I will get more purchase from a new manager.

I've been more slightly more zen about it all than back in May. I have a lovely life and enough money to live comfortably on, which is a very privileged position to be in. I aced a qualification which I really enjoyed and which will hopefully open up some doors. I'm just keeping on keeping on and hoping something will come up.

So another update but a tentatively positive one.

Since starting this thread I've just been getting on with things. I got involved with 2/3 big pieces of work which were completely out of my area but helped a team that was short staffed and if successful will be really positive.

Then in December my boss suddenly came out with a huge business development plan that is exactly in line with what I proposed 15 months ago. And I'm now central to implementing it! And some of the worst mansplaining senior managers have resigned so there's a chance to change the SM team for the better.

No promotion or salary increase proposed but I will have an actual meaningful role with great opportunities to do interesting work and be at the centre of things. I'm in shock.

Over one year after starting thing thread and I have been offered a new job .

20% pay rise. Bigger, better organisation with more prospects and more interesting work.

It's such a relief to finally stop whinging about my job to everyone!

Well done, I remember your original thread. So glad it worked out

Yay well done! Is it close enough for you?

Fab news @BackwardsGoing, you deserve the break after all your efforts to succeed, I hope the new role gives you fulfilment and new openings.

Have you handed in your notice? How did your boss react

Thanks @daisychain01 I am absolutely delighted. As much for what it will mean for my family as for me. I've been treading water for years and it's been awful.

Awaiting formal offer before handing my notice in. Not looking forward to that, or the next few days when I have to pretend to be all engaged and future-planning!

Also thank you @violetbunny and @InescapableDeath. Commute is exactly the same as my current one (a whole 13 minutes by electric bike) with slightly more expectation to travel for work. Although everyone is still working from home.

Honestly the job suits me so, so well. And has actual prospects!