Does your job make you cry?

[Daberhashery]

I’m wondering if how I feel is normal or whether it’s spiralling downwards.
I’ve been in my current job for 5 years. Some weeks I cry on the way home after work every day. Since Christmas I’ve been crying on the way in to work as well. I have had periods of time where I’ve been in tears most days during working hours (mostly crying at lunchtime).
I’m pretty sure this isn’t normal. I find my job very difficult, my workload exceeds the hours I’m paid to work and I can’t do overtime as I have my children to look after in the evenings and at weekends.
The result is that I feel like I’m failing all the time. I come home defeated by the daily task list and cry because I feel like I can’t win. Ever.
I’ve thought about leaving my job, but I kind of feel institutionalised and I can’t now imagine that anyone could have a job that doesn’t make them cry every day. So, what level of feeling unsuccessful at work is normal?

I was like this and then quickly got signed off with stress

It ain’t normal

Yes I feel like that, I don’t cry cause I’m not a crier but it comes out in different ways. It’s not normal but I think it’s common ref workload exceeds hours

I was a teacher. I cried on the way to work, on the way home, at lunchtimes, and inside I screamed, silently, for twenty one years.

Leave.

My god. Leave- your life honestly doesn't have to be like this

That's not normal. But before you leave your job, you need to check whether it's the job or you that is causing this, because if it is you, it will follow you no matter how good the next job is.

Are you effective at time management? Are you making your task list realistic? Or are you trying to achieve everything on Monday that could in fact be spread across the week? Do you delegate or say no when needed? Are you being honest with yourself and everyone else about what you can really achieve in a day?

It's ok to say no, or ' yes but not until Wednesday' - set boundaries, make an achievable list with baby steps instead of mountains and see how it goes.

If not, leave and don't look back

I feel like this pretty much every Monday.

I’ve had feelings of dread before work before, but never as strong as this.

I never know when my colleagues are going to be in a mood or hate me or whether we will be best friends today. I have now come to realise that I am being bullied at work by a couple of colleagues so am in a position where I literally go in, do my job, go home. And the motivation is dropping. I’ve cried to myself at home multiple times. I never sleep well during the week.

But I know that it’s not like this everywhere and am hopeful to find somewhere better.

You can do the same OP. Life is to short. Take care of yourself

Get another job! Seriously, it doesn’t have to be like this

This isn’t normal.

My work usually makes me come home smiling and occasionally singing. Maybe I’m just lucky but I’m sure crying every day isn’t a normal experience of work.

Life’s too short. Find something that makes you happy or at least content.

Thanks all. I’m worried about leaving so much that it stresses me out as much as the job itself does. I can’t tell if it’s me to blame for not delivering enough or the job for being too much. I have the kind of job where I write a to do list on Friday and then a new mini crisis comes up each day so that by the next Friday none of the core tasks are done.
And this leaves me wondering what the hell I would have to offer a new employer!

Yes I do sometimes when I get in bed at night. I keep thinking about leaving but sometimes I wonder if it's better the devil you know.
My job makes me so miserable and I hate the people I work with, I like my 2 bosses though.
I cry once a week about it.

Fairylight and MondeoFan - I’m so sorry to hear you feel like this too. It’s miserable and it does affect your sleep quality ☹️

I used to be like this. Sometimes I wouldn't even be able to stop crying to get round the supermarket to pick up a ready meal, and would just do the whole thing in floods of tears.

I worried about leaving. Other people left and then came back a year or so later, so I was worried it was just a grass is greener thing. I also didn't know how I'd get a suitable salary or a job with a varied enough set of tasks. But I looked around, carefully, and applied for some jobs. I treated interviews as me interviewing them too, as there was no point going somewhere worse. I very carefully didn't burn my bridges. And then I found a really promising job. I jumped ship, and haven't looked back. I have cried at work in my new job, but that was a day I forgot to take my contraceptive pill, so I don't think they can really be blamed for that one...

However, I would say to consider a) saying no more and b) seeing if you can spot anyone junior who has some free time who can help you out - even a few hours a week makes a big difference.

OP have you discussed any of this with your line manager? This could be done by writing down the specific areas of stress, which tasks are of concern and booking time with them.

Maybe they aren't even aware, and by you offloading in a controlled and logical way, you stand half a chance of them giving you support.

You need to do some self help here, crying isn't going to solve the problem. It will just increase the negativity if this carries on indefinitely

I had one job that did this to me. I only lasted 2 years. Due to my mental health I just left! I instantly felt cured. Found a better paid (almost doubled salary) job four months later, worked there happily for eight years until I left to become a SAHM. Don't let a job take over your happiness. Leave. You don't need to be afraid, you will find a better job.

My job makes me cry but not for the reasons yours does, you need a new job because no-one deserves to be that unhappy about work.

My job does, I resigned this week.

Terrifying, but I've decided to put my mental health first. You need to find support at work or make steps to change your situation- you sound so unhappy

I sometimes feel like this and always just assumed it came with the territory working for a charity.

It’s not ok for work to have that kind of impact on your wellbeing, you deserve better.

I felt like this for a while and was in quite a depressive state. I very recently started a new job which I was super excited about and had very high hopes. Unfortunately, I am completely isolated in the new job and I feel like I’ve made a mistake. I don’t know if the industry just isn’t right for me anymore but I’ve progressed a lot in my career so I don’t know if I can take a step back and start all over again.

EveryClaud this is my fear. I’m sorry it’s not progressing how you hoped.

And I’ve tried to talk to my manager about it. He can’t see the problem and always says ‘well I’m sure you’ll work something out to get it all done’
I’m getting worried that I may end up having an emotional outburst at work which would be mortifying. There is a very macho culture in my job and that sort of stuff is really frowned upon.
I know crying to myself on the way home won’t change anything, but I feel at such a loss as what else I can do. It feels like I’m not up to the job which is why I’m failing to get everything done.
Tonkerbea - well done on resigning. It’s my dream!

Mine did, and caused me to have panic attacks on a Sunday night.

I’m working my notice right now. Please leave, it’s not normal and no job is worth sacrificing your mental health for.

I normally really love my job, but this week it makes me cry as it looks like I might have to make two thirds of my team redundant in the summer. We won't be functional with just a third left, so all the work we did last year will be basically wasted.

Thank you, but I'm extremely lucky, my partner is supportive and I'm attempting the freelancer route.

It sounds like your line manager is not doing their job properly- they should be listening and helping to find a solution. Is there a HR officer you can speak to?

I really hope things work out for you.

I cried regularly because I was underpaid and undervalued. Every day I felt like I was a failure and my employer was taking the piss by not paying me more for doing a valuable job. When I had a baby I was only too happy to be a SAHM. I don’t earn any money but at least I’m not being taken advantage of. When I return to work I’ll retrain and do something different where the pay is commensurate with my skills and hard work.

I’ve heard a rumour we have an HR dept but in the time I’ve worked here, I’ve never met anyone from there 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have cried when I've been very overworked and out of control. Situation resolved itself because, despite asking, no one cared enough to help so I left.

I think you need to vote with your feet and look for something else. It doesn't sound sustainable long term. It's not normal to be crying every day!