Tribunal handhold

[Sadatchristmastime]

Is anyone else going through this? Received final grievance outcome yesterday after months of silence - happy Christmas! As expected was not good. My marriage, family and health have all suffered. I could withdraw it but things are toxic and don't think that would resolve anything. Are things always this bad before tribunal has even started? Not feeling very strong today, been crying all night and had very low thoughts. Rowed with DH. And off to see the big man today. Am feeling like I can't cope with anything anymore but also feeling I can't just walk away. Any advice gratefully received.

In essence, nobody wins. For you it might be about principle, but this will only really matter if people want to hear your story; I suspect, as important as it is, most people will not be interested.

If the opportunity arises, it might be worth settling but ensuring that confidentiality is only limited to the amount of any monies paid by the employer. This will give you an opportunity to discuss the matter and whenever you wish. They might wish to insert a clause that ensures, should you discuss the matter, you must acknowledge that they admitted no liability for the claims levelled against them.

If it really is about principle, drive a hard bargain regarding the wording of any settlement; what do you have to lose. Also remember that they are just as worried as you, no matter how they appear outwardly.

The employer is counting on your weakness and might easily take it to the wire before suggesting any settlement. By this time you will be at your most anxious.

Thank you all for replying. I've tried to put out of my mind over Christmas, which was actually easier to do until last night...haven't slept at all for worrying. Feeling anxious and unsure of myself. Dou to g things I know are true. Really want to start the new year in a positive frame of mind and come out fighting but am wavering badly. One thing that was playing on my mind.....does my lawyer believe my case is strong or is happy just to be paid?

You need nerves of steel in this situation 😥

If your case is paid for through insurance (as mine is) then the lawyer has no incentive to pretend you have a good claim. We all know insurance companies hate paying out! That's why they do an initial assessment to see if you have 51% chance of success and I think they err on the harsh side with that.

You do need nerves of steel and you also need to believe in your case because the other side will continue to twist things and try to turn the blame your way and you will doubt yourself until you can reassure yourself that you know the facts.

It's the hardest thing I have ever done. But the alternative was worse. I just keep reminding myself that my boss chose this route through his behaviour, not me.

Hi Sad I hope you are feeling better. I've sent you a pm, but not sure if you have name changed.

Sorry for absence, have not been feeling great lately (had to see emergency docs twice). Have been very down.

Beryl - thank you for checking on me, will reply now.

I guess things will pick up again in the coming weeks once everyone back from Christmas break.

A couple of questions for those in the know (appreciate could ask my lawyer but am musing ahead of speaking with them this week...). If I lodge a case at the tribunal when still employed (but signed off sick as currently am) could this change to constructive dismissal if something changes before it goes to court forcing me to leave? I have been looking for another job.... could this be used against me, i.e. my employer saying that was the reason I left rather than me being pushed out? genuinely I think I need some headspace and not jump into a new job but understand this will look better to a tribunal that I have been?

thanks all and Happy new year , although not sounding too happy I am trying to look on this as the start of an end and a new beginning...

If you leave and then file a claim for constructive dismissal, your solicitor could either bring a new claim and then ask to consolidate the two or ask to amend your original claim.

If you do leave, you have a duty to "mitigate your losses" so looking for work at that point is positive. If you look for work now, your employers won't know unless they are asked for a reference and you would presumably have evidence to show why you are currently so unhappy that you're looking for work already.

Constructive dismissal is very hard to win on. It has to be proven that your employers had destroyed/ breached your trust and confidence in them and that you had not effectively accepted that ("affirmed the breach") by waiting too long after the final incident/ last straw to resign.

I think it's normal to be down about treated badly. I think it's less normal to behave in a way that makes an employee behave that way! I try to see it that my reaction is normal to my boss's abnormal behaviour.

I've joined the 30 day yoga with Adriene. There's a thread on here and it's free on YouTube. I thought it might help a bit with my mental well-being. Might be worth thinking about once everyone back at school?

Hi OP hope youre picking up healthwise

I feel uneasy about a potential switch from one Claim basis to another midstream. It could look weak and indecisive especially with Constructive Dismissal being technically very difficult to prove. It's really not something you can make up as you go along, because it relies on certain conditions being met, in a certain sequence, in order for CD to exist. Talk it through with your solicitor.