Which job? Relaxed £50k pa job or more demanding £70k pa job?

[windygallows]

I am in a luxurious position of having a well paid and relatively easy and flexible job with a relaxed manager, interesting work and colleagues. £50k pa. I do have to do a lot of extra work at night and weekends from home but it's not excessive. However I have been there a long time (7 yrs) and want to move my career on and there is little opportunity for progress.

I've been offered a job in a SME that pays much more and sounds fascinating but would be much more demanding, as befits the salary, and much more extra working and responsibility. Wouldn't be relaxed, would be expected to really drive the business forward but would be challenging and help to further my career. It pays £70k pa and would net about £800 more/month.

WWYD? I'm a single parent with two little ones so worried the higher paid option might be too much for me to take on but equally worried if I don't take it then I won't get the chance again. Everyone (family, friends) thinks I'm crazy to take the new job when I've 'got it so good' in existing role.

Are you a single parent with an involved co-parent, or an actual lone parent? If your children are young I think that is relevant, not being nosy!
Hmm. I think maybe you do neither..in the short term you stay where you are and keep looking for a more interesting role but with more flexibility OR you talk to the SME and find out if there could be any flexibility there-even if it would mean a bit less renumeration?
Moving on from a job you have been in 7 years is a good idea, and a more interesting role could be energising, but I think, as your kids are young, you might burn out if you take on something that's going to cause a lot of stress to you.

Ifnot I am a lone parent. Ex lives hours away so doesn't help with the day to day, just with a few holidays/year. The gist I get from the SME is that they are supportive of parents generally but they are small and I would be second in command so would need to be available and I worry that expectations would be quite high. It would also mean a move so introducing risk of new schools/optimizing the school run etc. I hate having to turn down something so interesting and well paid but the unknown is very risky!

It's a hard one! Part of me thinks you have done REALLY well to have such a good job ( I never earned more than 25k when I was employed!) but I understand wanting to take a great opportunity.
How do the children feel about new schools?

Children don't really want to leave but it could be a good option.

Other factor is that the increase in salary will be eaten up by the cost of selling house, moving etc which I'm very mindful of. But that shouldn't be the dealbreaker.

Everyone is telling me to stick with what I have - that it's too risky to take the role because of the many 'unknowns' but if I use that logic I might never move roles again.

There is no easy answer here, but I would lean towards saying go for it.

Do interesting, challenging opportunities come up fairly regularly in your field? And in what timeframe do you see yourself being in a better position to take up this kind of role?

I guess I'm wondering whether your decision is more about this role specifically, or managing your career more generally over the next few years. If you turn this down, does it mean you're playing it safe for a number of years (very valid option, not meant in the slightest negatively) or still looking for a move but a better-configured one for your circumstances.

Wherefore I think if I turn this down I'd keep looking but for something in a bigger institution where there is more of a 'buffer' and where there wouldn't be such a requirement for me to be as involved, as if it was my own small business, if you see what I mean.

I'm leaning towards no because I feel that if I really wanted it I wouldn't have such mixed feelings. I am also rubbish at decision-making!

It's a tricky one. I was in a similar situation a while back, having to choose between my existing, comfortable role and a better paid, more challenging one which would have given me a higher profile in my field but had longer hours, lots of travelling and an expectation to give up a fair bit of free time for weekend conferences and the like.

It was a tough choice, and I turned myself inside out over the decision. Eventually I chose to stay put and I haven't regretted it. There's a lot to be said for keeping things simple and manageable, especially with kids to think of.

Go with your gut. If you're not feeling joy and excitement at the prospect of the new job there's probably a reason for that.

Hearme sorry to hear about the turmoil of your decision too but glad you feel settled about it. How long did it take you to decide? Sounds like a similar situation - I am really attracted to the money and higher profile the role brings, but no one pays that sort of money without expecting a very high level of time/hours and commitment, right?

Life was easier when career decisions were just about me; now having to think about how it could impact on my family makes it that much trickier and riskier!

The problem with sme is that you never know when they will make you redundant. I was offered an amazing opportunity in a sme less than a year later I had to be let go.

I would look for another job that's not sme

Little that's a good point and also I'm v aware that it would be a LOT of pressure to reach their KPIs/targets.

If I were in your shoes, job security would be a major concern and as others have said you could be more exposed in the new role on the basis that it's a smaller company, you don't know the lay of the land or the company's true financial/strategic position, and you will need to build your reputation and goodwill there from scratch. That said, no employee is safe in any job and so staying in your current role doesn't guarantee you anything. This might be a case of better the devil you know??

I would say go for it. Kids are adaptable. You will always wonder what might have been.

Good point about larger firms/institutions being more secure. .plus who knows what Brexit will bring...!
I have a small business and thats a great fit as a lp, but kind of precarious.

I have found though larger firms are not always as secure as there are more 'layers' and these are easier to lose and absorb into other roles.

If the SME is a ltd co or LLP you can look at their accounts.

now having to think about how it could impact on my family makes it that much trickier and riskier!

I hear you! I couldn't separate what was best professionally from what was best for the family and juggled so many pros and cons around in my head I ended up with analysis paralysis. In the end I flipped a coin, which told me to take the job. I was all set to go and hand my notice in but the thought of it made me utterly miserable. At which point a friend said "well that tells you something doesn't it?"

She was right. If the new job was what I really wanted I would have gone skipping into work with that letter.

I was in a quandary for about a week, getting more and more anxious. Looking back, it really wasn't worth it! But I know it's easy to say that now.

In current conditions, job security is surely very important. Assuming you are in the UK, what are the two employers' prospects with regards to Brexit? As the current job sounds okay and you are not needing to leave due to extreme stress or the company being in trouble, would be inclined to stay put and look again in perhaps six months after seeing how things are going.

Hearme - very good point that you know how you feel when you go to hand in your notice. The difficulty I have is knowing the distinction between fear of change and just making that leap and actually just not wanting to do something. Sometimes they feel VERY similar!

Gemma - you're right about job security. The role is in tourism and I expect there is going to be a significant enough downturn post-Brexit.

I haven't read the whole thread but I know two people who gave up steady long term jobs for new jobs in the last 18 months and both of them left their new jobs because it wasn't for them.

One was as a result of the culture of the organisation she went to, the other just didn't enjoy her new job.

It isn't just about money, money is nice, essential in fact, but you need to weigh it up very carefully.

What is the retention rate at the new firm like and how long do people usually work there for? Do they invest in their staff? Maybe tricky questions to get answers to but something to think about.

I’m usually 100% behind ambition but I’m struggling to see how you can do the school runs, all the childcare and wife work, move house, move schools and take on a £70k job?

Sarah. That's what I'm worried about. I am ambitious but it may be more than I can juggle. I'm already exhausted!!

I’m in a similar position- 2 kids under 5, single parent, full on job c.£60k. I would think really carefully about work/life balance, I’ve had higher paying jobs which have absolutely brought me to my knees. Guarding my work/life balance is really high up my priority list now, I don’t think £20k extra a year will compensate for the stress to be honest. If it was me, I would stay put and keep looking.

Thx Rosa. Were you expected to do more in the higher paid post- and how much more demanding was it?

Great to see another single parent juggling everything so well!

Yes, absolutely more was expected in the higher paid post (though I know this isn’t always a direct correlation). I found that on a high wage it’s expected you’ll be at their beck and call, available for last minute late meetings, overseas trips, large pieces of work briefed on a Friday afternoon and expected Monday morning. I hate the feeling that I’m not doing a good job so found it incredibly stressful trying to manage it all alongside the kids. Also the job was more challenging for me so took me more time to do things.

In my current role, as long as I get the results I need to, no one cares where I am or what hours I’m working. The job is interesting but not overly stretching for me, which means I can do it really well without too much effort. I work from home on a Friday so can drop my daughter at school that day. Etc.

It’s partly role and partly team culture I guess.

I think there’s a lot of truth in the saying ‘you can have it all, just not all at the same time’...something I have to remind myself of sometimes When the kids are a bit older I plan to ‘step up’ more again. Shit in many ways but got to be realistic.

Sarah. That's what I'm worried about. I am ambitious but it may be more than I can juggle. I'm already exhausted!!

So why would you consider a job you describe as:-

1. Much more demanding
2. Much more extra working and responsibility
3. Wouldn't be relaxed
4. Would be expected to really drive the business forward

List all the aspects of your current job (i.e. interesting, flexible, good work-life balance, etc.) and all those of the new job (i.e. challenge, salary, promotion prospects, etc.) and rank them in order. Which job comes out on top?

Bit like buying a house, I would go for the longer term option so which job would you be able to do long term if you couldn't move. I would imagine it would be the interesting job that allows you a good work-life balance.

There is no such thing at 'never getting another shot at an opportunity like this' so don't convince yourself otherwise.

Thanks just I think the current job is more secure im just desperate for a new opportunity as I'm a bit bored!!

I keep telling myself it could be okay - exciting role, new colleagues, interesting challenges, a new city and home and all the excitement that offers.

And then I imagine the nightmare scenario - demanding role, difficult boss, problem staff, long hours, coming home to a new undecorated house in a part of town I don't know, kids at a school they don't like with shitty aftercare provision, racing across a town I don't know to do pick up and drop off, weekend and evening events where I have to leave kids with random new sitter, in debt as I'm paying mortgage and rental fees, writing late night reports on some rental bed, being called in on a Sunday afternoon to fix whatever because I'm second in command while I drag my children with me. Arrggghhh