Crying and shaking re leaving work tonight... who is to blame? Car left behind

[alltoomuchrightnow]

I'm several weeks into a new job, famous large retailer (please don't ask me to name) and so far they have been pretty good to work for.
Mon-Fri we can use the store's regular car park (ie the customers one)
Weekends are too busy so we park at the store's depot, 20 minutes walk away. A shuttle service is laid on from store to here, although if traffic is bad , staff will often end up walking in ; not an issue in daylight. HR say they'd rather we use the shuttle than walk (it's not a great area, dodgy underpass, badly lit at night etc..they know a few eves ago I was approached for money in the regular car park)
I always finish at night (as work late afternoon to late eve shifts) and my hours have been extended slightly, however, I've always made the last shuttle back to the depot. I've had chats with the drivers and they always say they have a good idea of who is left in the store and can't go (home) until the last day/eve staff are out. Also a tannoy announcement is made to remind us re the last bus.
I can't leave until my department is tidy for the next morning and all the stock recovery is finished. Particularly busy tonight and I worked alone as they are short staffed. As often happens but tonight was busier. (I'm the only dept that doesn't have a team..it's just me and now a new part timer who won't be doing lates)
I stayed half an hour late, as I often do, as I say, I can't leave until things are done, I don't have an issue with this, I've been in retail for a decades and I know the score. (This isn't a martyr thing and I have missed the last bus back before, )
Anyway I finished and clocked out and asked at reception, had I just missed a bus. It finished for the night, half an hour ago, they said.
I was knackered after being on feet all night but went off to walk back to my car. The depot is on an industrial estate and poorly lit. No one was around at all. Nothing happened but I realise anything could have (also the depot is at the very back of the ind estate, tucked away) but I knew I could get into my car at the end. I felt vulnerable but didn't even see another person.
And then I got to the gates of the depot and they were locked.
At this point, standing out there in the dark, I did feel really vulnerable and burst into tears. I live 12 miles away and DP is away working most of the time.
Luckily DP got back last night. He came to get me but I don't think it's acceptable. If he'd not been around I'd have been stuck as no public transport to where we live (remote) and I don't have the money for a taxi. My car is obviously still there and as I'm back working tomorrow I won't be able to collect it until tomorrow evening.
I was standing out there in the dark for 45 minutes waiting for him. I'd had a gruelling shift, am not feeling well and had no energy at all to walk back to work, where no one would be able to help anyway as just the night workers and one security guy.
I will speak to HR tomorrow.
Would you be mad?
At no point since started work have I ever been told/warned that the depot's car park closed at a certain time. I assumed it was open 24/7 like the stores (where people work 24/7)
My issue isn't so much missing the bus as that was just something I'd suck up, I knew I'd have to work late. But not being able to get to my car is crazy!

It’s clear how awful this has made you feel and I agree you need to talk it through with someone and make an action plan for how it can be avoided in future. Maybe it would be possible to have the number of the organisation that runs the buses and car park so you can speak to them directly, or have the number of someone who can speak to them.
Try not to get too emotional when you speak about it; it was an oversight. State that you were exhausted and frightened and then onto practicalities about how to avoid this in future.

I think you should speak to HR and say that since you always have to work late because of understaffing, you must be allowed to use on site customers car park in future.

I also think it’s shocking that you are doing regular unpaid overtime working in a what I presume is a low paid / minimum wage job. That really isn’t on either.

Don't worry about complaining because you are a new worker, because you would definitely leave if nothing is done and there is a danger this could happen again. It is also something that could happen to someone else in future.

I think you need to discuss the issue of you having to work late on your own to complete the tasks after the store closes.
Has management said you can't leave until all of this is done or is it because your are very conscientious?
You can't really expect other members of staff to hang around indefinitely until you have finished - the bus driver will also want to get home as will the people at the depot. The people at the depot weren't to know that you had missed the last bus - perhaps they presumed you had gone on somewhere else after work and wouldn't be returning. How late should they stay because a random car is parked there?
I understand it must have been awful for you and I think most people would have been upset by what happened, but I don't think it needs to spiral out of all proportion. Go in today and talk to someone about what happened and make sure you are well in time for the last bus.

I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose but you do need to bring in to the attention of management as an unacceptable risk. If there is a Last bus then surely you drop everything to make sure you get it - if they want you to stay late then you park in the customer car park.

The store should have arranged and paid for a cab to take you to the car park if you missed the last bus, and if the car park was locked, then it should have driven you home, and brought you in the next shift. Can this arrangement be set up for your safety? A caring company should at the very least be able to do this in return for your unpaid overtime.
They might be more understanding if you gave them a small hint about your history, but really this is a safety issue that should be applied to ALL staff, not just you.

Still here, no sleep , meant to be in at midday back at work. with no car to get there
Furious that last night I messaged manager saying I was locked out and got no response. It was only about 1040 which is not late on a saturday night and for someone who often works night shifts anyway (even though she was at home). She read it at the time but did not respond
She just messaged me now saying why did you miss the last bus (she knows why as I did see her at work last night before she went home and she knew how crazy busy I was and that I was working alone! She knew I cut my break short to get back to my dept!) and she also said yes it's all locked up after the last bus. First I've heard of that!
I've messaged back saying I have never been told that and I'd never have parked there if I 'd known as can't take that risk as I often have to leave late, as she knows. That in my induction (which wasn't with her) I was told it was always safe to park there, I was told the location and about the shuttle service and that was it. Not one thing was said about it shutting. As we have night staff I assumed it was open 24/7 even if the actual depot wasn't.
So I know she's going to try and twist it round...
I have really bad anxiety and been up all night , not the best frame to deal with this shit..

It's a sackable offence to park in the customer car park at weekends plus it's absolutely rammed (customers often drive round for hours, which probably give a clue re the store!)

I have always known the times the depot shuts as I send customers there. In induction I was told the car park would always be accessible but to be honest she was pretty vague as I had to ask so many q's

If they are going to stop the busses and lock up the carpark you should not be left to finish up alone in your department.
I would treat this as a complaint, but be polite and make it clear you only want a good future solution, not to cast blame. That way there is no worry about the manager twisting things. What you want is a firm assurance that you can leave in time for the last bus even if your dept is not fully tidy. Or a specific permit for the customer car park as they want you to work beyond the last bus.

Don't go getting furious at your manager for this - it's not her fault. Speak to her calmly and rationally and see what kind of solution you can come up with for the future.

Apologies if you've said but I couldn't see it anywhere, but was yours the only car left in the depot car park?

Sounds horrible and of course you are allowed to ‘go on about it’ etc, I think some of the people replying in that way haven’t experienced ptsd or understood that it isn’t something where you get the choice of making a big fuss vs having no reaction beyond a logical ‘oh dear’. I know people are trying to calm you down but actually, legitimising someone’s emotions can help calm someone down a lot quicker than telling someone they are unreasonable for reacting as they are, when they have ptsd which is being triggered.

You are allowed to feel how you feel. It is a legitimate way to react after a scary incident. Absolutely ok to feel scared and shaken. It’s ok to feel it and be in it, and name it, recognise it, and then move past it. You can’t move past something if you’re adding feelings of shame and denial and fear of not being normal to it. I find, anyway!

Do you have any strategies for when it all gets bad by being triggered like this?

One thing I’ve learnt to do is to say to myself ‘it’s ok, I’m ok. these feelings don’t belong here. They belong in the past, to x. They don’t belong here, to now. They belong in the past. They don’t belong here, in this moment, they belong in the past‘ and repeat ad nauseam...

Sometimes I add on a bit about what I’m doing right now as well, just to ring the changes / keep me focusing, sooo ‘these feelings don’t belong here. They belong in the past. They don’t belong here, to now. They belong in the past. They don’t belong here, to now, when I’m just walking down this corridor / to now, when I’m just picking a mug for my tea. They belong in the past.

And I keep sort of chanting in my head until it goes away. Until that big black thunder cloud consuming you thins and lightens and turns into tendrils of mist and then vapour that disappears back where it belongs.

Took me ages to be able to realise when I was being grabbed by those big emotions from various incidences in the past, for me just identifying when it was happening was the hard bit, still is some days. But, the good bit is that now it just takes a couple of repetitions for those emotions to slink on back into the past and stop trying to cling on into the present where they have no business being! Sooo, maybe this particular thing won’t work for you, but I wanted to share it in case it does, and just to say, it does get better, it really does, in the end x

I’ve wrotten hr stuff to but will put it in the different post now as this one is super long now!

Can you try and then put a brave face on when you talk to HR? And follow some of the advice on here about complaining and highlighting a H&S procedure gone wrong? And that it’s only as good as it’s weakest link... which went wrong last night and could have put a member of staff at risk. I’d point out that you were lucky you’re DP could drive to pick you up, or you’d have faced the walk back to the store the other way which would’ve just as risky. As it was you were standing in an isolated place for x mins which is absolutely not safe.

They need to put in place measures to ensure this never happens again to any member of staff. And if they argue that you should have known to do x or x, politely but firmly explain that as a new hire you rely on the information given to you, and at no point we’re you given that information. That lack of information sharing is also a H&S gap

I’d highlight that you are being put in an ‘double bind’ / forced choice situation by having to stay so late to complete your work but risk your safety OR be safe and leave before the last bus to ensure your safety, but risk your job due to not meeting objectives / by nightly tidying goals or whatever they are (!) etc.

This isn’t an acceptable position to be put into and it’s not appropriate that they should rebound it onto you unless you are doing way too much each night or are doing it substantially slower than other people. Assuming neither of those is the case, this forced choice between compromising personal safety vs job performance needs resolving. You could suggest solutions but don’t take on responsibility for solving it. This is a management issue

Lastly, I’d get this down in writing somehow. Can you email hr?

Good luck

I don't think you are unreasonable to say something. Obvious solution is for you to use customer car park.

Can you get a bus to the car park at your finish time then drive back to finish work that needs doing?

@User1011 I was going to suggest the same. I can understand them locking the gates after a certain time. Many places around here do so to avoid people in caravans turning up in the night and setting up camp. But they should have informed you and your bosses will need to allow you to get there on time to collect your car and move it over to the customer carpark.

I think going forward no matter how busy it is you need to ensure you get on that last bus. It is they're responsibility to sort out the management and business of the store. You get on that bus and stay safe!

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Someone should have had the commonsense and the authority to organise alternative transport for you.
That person would not have needed to be your manager (who was already home by this point and shouldn't have been involved).
It's ridiculous and concerning that nobody had the ability to solve a problem on that shift.

You just won't be able to work late again. Clearly they don't want you to or they would have a later bus.

How is the above post helpful at all?

It is unacceptable that you had to work beyond the last bus and that your car was locked in.

You need to raise it but calmly and politely and focus on what practical changes can be made to prevent recurrence. You cojld try practising what you might say and how you might react in different scenarios.

Also, think about the outcome you want. To me the best two alternatives might be:

• agree that you leave when the last bus is called regardless of whether you have finished or not
• agree that you have special permission to use customer car park so you can finish the work.

Either would be ok but I would be open to other suggestions from management too.

Good luck.