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Original poster

Not chd related - is this discrimination? Please, help

49 replies

Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:32

I have worked in the same pub for 2 years, and it was bought over by new private owners 3 weeks ago. They kept me on, as i had been there so long I believe they had to.

Today, I was told by the new boss at my work that I have to dress differently.

The uniform shirts provided are the same on all 3 of the women at my work, and we all button them up to the second top button.
Today I was told that I have to button an extra one up as it is innapropriate that men are looking at me.
Its a pub! I am used to it.
The other girls have much smaller chests than me.

It was so embarrasing to be told this. they made me feel horrible. I dress nicely, i wear a smart black skirt, with black tights (thick ones) and flat shoes. I wear a black vest underneath my shirt for extra 'breast coverage', and feel more comfortable with the button done to the chest, rather than the neck.

Is this discrimination? I dont think it is fair, and believe they are trying to get rid of me as I came as part of the sale as it were, when they bought the pub.

Can anyone help?

OP posts:
HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 00:37

it might be an uncomfortable sitation for you but i don't see how it could be classed as discrimination

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:39

Well, I thought it might be as it is only me that has been asked to change the way i dress.

Its not my fault that my boobs are bigger than the other girls, and i shouldn't be singled out for it, surely?

OP posts:
HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 00:42

but if their tops don't show an 'inappropriate' amount of flesh then they wouldn't need to be asked to change

not saying you do by the way, just that your employer would argue that

i think you'd strggle to claim discrimination for the sake of one button

Sossy · 19/06/2007 00:42

I'm quite sure they weren't under any legal obligation to take you on when they took over.

It's a horrible situation, even for them it must have been awkward. I can understand it though from their point of view. They want to run a respectable establishment rather than a rowdy pub full of leering men! It's just little things like that which make a huge difference to the image of a pub.

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:48

I agree - but its a regulars pub, in a nice area granted, but out of town.
I am young, pretty and classy looking (insert vanity emoticon )
The 'leering men' as it were, are nice, friendly pubgoers. Its not a family place, kids arent allowed. Its a pub. That behaviour is to be expected!!

I do not show off loads of flesh!

Its basically the fact that for me to do the button right up to the neck, looks fairly silly compared to the other girls who have it buttoned to the chest-area.
Its all fairly casual dress there, and its a casual pub. I look very, very silly buttoned up to the neck.

oh - when they took over, there were 4 staff in the contract. we came as part of the sale on a trial basis. In our contracts, it stipulates that we will only 'fail' the trial period if we commit gross misconduct or do not perform to a satisfactory level.

I think they are trying to make out that i am not performing to the satisfactory level.. iykwim..

OP posts:
HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 00:48

they could have had it in the contract when they took over that staff would be kept on, our local did ths when it changed hands, however, they just kept it closed 'for refurbishment' for a few weeks, changed nothing, but by then the staff needed money so found other jobs.

HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 00:48

then maybe go along with it for the trial period?

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:49

Sorry to be arguing with your replys. I am just so so upset and worried about this.

The thought of losing my job is making me feel so ill.

OP posts:
barnstaple · 19/06/2007 00:51

Electroma, this is ridiculous. They have no right to ask you to do up an extra button unless they insist all the other girls do too. Don't pay any attention to the last comment. If men behave in a way the establishment dislikes (ie leering) then the landlord has the right to ask them to leave or to throw them out. You, the barmaid, have no responsibility over how much or little the clientele leer, and to even suggest that you should/could be singled out because of it is utter garbage. Keep your buttons done how you want them until all the barmaids are told to do them up.

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:51

HouseGuest - I would but seriously, i look ridiculous.

I am the same age as you BTW, and not really into wearing shirts buttoned up to the neck - i am sure you can imagine!

OP posts:
HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 00:51

that's ok, it can be very worrying
i think you have to decde, either go along with them if the job is important to you, or start looking for another

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:53

barnstaple - thank you.

I did think that.

The thing is, the comments that some men make doesnt bother me in the slightest! i've been doing bar work for 8 years and I dont mind!

I also get comments about my long legs, or that i am pretty. Cant do anything about that!

They said i am not giving the right image. It made me feel dirty and cheap. And I am not.

What can I do?

OP posts:
HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 00:53

i can well imagine!
unfortunately, as someone who has been to a tribunal, it is just as stressful, if not more so, than the situation you are in now, and would be a dfficult one to fight

Sossy · 19/06/2007 00:54

It really is a difficult one, I'm biased because my parents had to ask a young lady this exact same thing when they took over a pub a few years ago. They were embarrassed as much as she was. She showed far too much flesh though, they were the focal point of the pub. She was unaware of this though!

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:56

But why does it matter?

Surely if men in a PUB are looking at the good looking barmaid, thats a good thing for a landlord?

If it doesnt bother me, why should i have to get changed?

If i was in an office - and my boss asked me to change as my attire was offending him - this would surely be seen as sexual discrimination?

OP posts:
Sossy · 19/06/2007 00:57

I disagree Barnstable. It's their pub not her's, the image they want to project makes a big difference to their business. It's up to them.

HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 00:58

i'm not saying it isn't discrimination, just that it's not an example that will be easy to fight so may not be worth the distress. and all they'll do is insist the others do their buttons up too.

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:58

But why is the fact i have a large chest a bad image?

its just the way i look!!

If I was fat, and they told me to lose weight as fatness was the 'wrong image to portray', you would think different i assume?

OP posts:
Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 00:59

HouseGuest - if they do at least i wont look so ridiculous

At the moment i look like i am trying to cover up, like i am uncomfortable.

TBH some of the men have looked a bit embarrased, as if maybe they have upset me in the past as i am now covered up.

OP posts:
harpsichordcuddler · 19/06/2007 01:00

"I'm quite sure they weren't under any legal obligation to take you on when they took over."
well, yes they are legally obliged to do so.
If I were you I would just laugh and say you are joking of course! and carry on as before.
it is ridiculous, imo

HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 01:00

it's not the size of your chest they are objecting to, just how much is on show. would be the same if one girl was wearing a skirt shorter than the others. they all wear skirts but she may be asked to wear a longer one.

Sossy · 19/06/2007 01:00

Well for us it was more because she was serving food. They nearly popped out every time she lent over with the plate. They nearly got titty for dinner! I think it's irrelevant about how you personally feel about the comments, it's their business and ultimeitly down to them.

HouseGuestofCaptainDippy · 19/06/2007 01:02

i'm gonna leave now, at the end of the day you have to decide how important the job is to you. if you want to keep it, do the buutton up. if not, leave and take them to tribunal, you might win, you might not.

Sossy · 19/06/2007 01:02

Harpsicordcuddler I realise this now as it has been explained that it was in the contract. That wasn't made clear before.

Original poster
Electroma · 19/06/2007 01:03

thanks harpsicord.

HouseGuest - there is not that much on show. more than the other girls, yes, but i am a different size to them.

I am slim with big boobs. If i was fat, and therefore more boob was on show, would you think it acceptable to tell me to button up?

OP posts:
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