City lawyer with toddlers can't cope

[RosieIrene]

I work FT at a city firm and have two dd 1 and 3. Have a full time daily nanny but still can't cope. Work all day, come home and put kids to bed and work all evening to make billable target or have to go to client functions. So stressed out that on weekend just want to sit in garden with kids and do nothing. Can't sleep, can't talk to anyone. How do people manage?

see, you've outed yourself. You do have a babysitter . You wouldn't be so relaxed otherwise

Okay, if I tried to get DS to help with the laundry, I'd find much of in the rubbish bin, and the rest would be stuffed in the toilet. You are having me on about a 2 year old doing laundry.

Besides I don't do the laundry so there is no opportunity for me to teach him. I couldn't care less if my children grow up knowing how to do laundry.

Well, how otherwise would we go out in the evening? I don't think I'd leave her on her own...

hehehehe

My DD rather likes following me round the house so I have taught her which buttons to press on the washing machine. She also has her own small plastic version. She is also not remotely interested in TV. And all this, despite being in daycare 3 days a week. OTOH her brother would watch tv all day long if I let him, but actually the last time he watched it at home (he has been farmed out quite a bit this last week) was the Sunday before last.

Eleusis - you see, there's a big difference between us. I really want all the children growing up knowing how to do all basic life skills (cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry) and, in fact, especially, the boys so they don't become macho slobs who expect others to wait on them.

And sorting laundry, putting it in and out of the machine etc has been one of my daughter's favourite games since she was about 1 year old - her first word was "Thank you" (pronounced "bapum") learnt from me as I thanked her for each item she pulled out of the washing machine or the supermarket basket...

Oh that's interesting. We tried to teach DD to say thank you. The nanny would put her hand out when she wanted something from DD, and when DD gave it to her nanny would say "thank you". So DD would go round and whenever she wanted something would put her hand out and declare "Thank you! Thank you!" Translation: DD learned that "thank you" meant "give it to me".

Yes, my daughter was confused about the meaning of Thank You for a while - she's say it whenever anyone handed anything to anyone. Sort of an accompaniment to a transfer.

She's got it properly organised now though

have only read half of this thread (and even that was a long-winded challenge1) but I am flabberghasted that there are WOHM parents/DH's/DW's/DP's that won't take the odd non-urgent personal call . Obviously in some environments it isn't always possible to take a personal call (as in lots of non-desk based posts) but those who sit at a desk 60% of their day, imo, have no real excuse for vetoing all personal calls.

N.B. Obviously, there is a point where personal calls become excessive but ime most people do not go overboard.

My DH has a busy, 'high-powered' job, with lots of time spent away on business and the odd late night at the office but he has the time to take or make a 3 minute 'How's your day?' phonecall

I didn't even spot that. Of course most of us take some personal calls.

C, yes at that point when the girls were about 8 when there were distant parties and dull driving to do and having the other 2 children in the car being pointless yes I delegated the driving. It was just one extra useful survival tip I was passing on but not relevant to this lady's 1 and 3 year old. Most women and men are happy not to look after their children all the time but obviously some parents feel very strongly it shoudl be them 24/7 and won't even take 2 hours off to go to the hairdresser. Funny how some are happy to ditch the chidlren to go to the gym and shop but not to earn an honest crust and pay taxes but there we are. The world is full of parasites of all kinds.

"Relaxing about what? Leave my child in a playpen with some plastic toys and an Algerian nanny and hope for the best? Or let her do loads of stuff with lots of people and see how far she can go with no pressure, just opportunities? "

Anna,
relaxing about how your child acquires language.

and what on earth is wrong with an Algerian nanny? s/he could provide a loving, structured day instead of being bombarded with "loads of stuff with lots of people" (presumably armed with flashcards).

do you have something against Algerian people?

bundle - I am fascinated, but fascinated, by language acquisition. Probably that's why I've learnt 6, if you include English. And totally fascinated by the way language and culture structure and limit thought processes.

And, from what I have learnt, I am extremely keen that my child should really master her mother and father tongues. But the reasons why extend into another thread.

"Funny how some are happy to ditch the chidlren to go to the gym and shop but not to earn an honest crust and pay taxes but there we are. The world is full of parasites of all kinds"

Xenia that really is pretty offensive. Just because someone isn't earning money does not mean they don't deserve a bit of time to themselves. You really spout some santimonious cr*p.

i thought so.

the only other person I've ever heard talk about language acquisition in the way you do (analytically) was my linguistics tutor at university.

i always thought oh blimey, what must it be like being their child

bundle - no, no flashcards here. Just talking and reading and singing.

Nothing against Algerians, something against the quality of the language skills of the Algerian nannies around here. Though, as I have said, our babysitter is half Hungarian half Algerian and very articulate (a trainee interpreter).

norf Londoners are good enough for me

Anna - would I be right in thinking that English isn't your first language?

bundle - well, you get to learn several languages, have a huge vocabulary and become very analytical probably... all extremely useful skills in my book

No, English is my first language. But I haven't lived much in English speaking countries.

When did you stop speaking it on a daily basis?

I've always spoken it on a daily basis.

useful anna but hardly a bundle of laughs

Oh you're completely wrong there, it's really fun, I adore language learning

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz

What a load of crap Anna888, you make it out as though being a SAHM is ALWAYS richly rewarding and that life with a 2 1/2 year old is one joyous and stimulating experience after another.

I'm a SAHM to 3 and extremely happy but to carry on about how perfect it always is would be as disingenous as a lawyer mother working 80 hours a week and claiming that her life works seamlessly and she never has a second's hesitation about her choices.

Come on admit it, sometimes being a SAHM is infuriating, repetitive and dull. Just like being a WOHM is sometimes knackering, frustrating and guilt inducing. It's totally beyond me why you have such strong opinions on working women anyway.