a bit of nursery advice

[strangerthanfiction]

My dd is 22 months and has never been away from me or dp before. I work 2 days and he looks after her on those days. We're now in a position financially for her to have a day or two at nursery which would give me a little break (I look after her solo the other 5 days so am effectively working a 7-day week) and would hopefully be good for her. The thing is we don't have a massive budget so we can either afford 1 day in a 'posher' nursery or 2 days in a 'cheaper' one. We've visited a 'posher' one yesterday which was nice. I've visited 2 'cheaper' ones which were pretty dreadful. I'm in a dilemma though as I know it's probably not a good idea to send a 22 month old for just 1 day a week as she will find it hard to settle.

What do you think I should do???

[Gingerbear]

STF, you have almost the same situation as me. My DD is 26 months and has just started 1/2 day per week at a nursery to give my mum a break (she has her 3 days per week) Mum is on holiday for 2 weeks, so DD has been in to nursery 3 full days this week and will go again next week.

I would say go for 2 half days at the nursery you feel most comfortable with (if you can arrange this) or just one day.

[strangerthanfiction]

Thanks Gingerbear. Do you think they settle ok though with just one day? A lot of nurseries I've looked at won't do less than 2 days, I haven't come across any yet that will do half days, and the ones that will do 1 day say they don't recommend it.

[bundle]

i wouldn't recommend one day a week, too confusing for little ones.

[Northerner]

Hi STF, what about a playgroup? They will be some in your local area, they are only term time but much more reasonable than a private nursery. But they normally don't take them till they are about 2 years I think, but then that's not far off is it?!

[Gingerbear]

DD's nursery started as a playgroup originally, then had some lottery and surestart funding to expand into a nursery. Their 'Mission Statement' is to provide flexible care for all (there are many shift/low waged workers in the area). So I think this is why they do half days. There is also an out of school / holiday club for older children.

When children enter schools don't they do half days 5 days a week to begin with??

[Gingerbear]

Why is 1 day per week confusing??

[hercules]

I wouldnt want to do one day either but given your choices then yes I would. If your dd is upset by it then you can easily stop.
I never saw a nursery that would do less than 2 days though. Not to do with settling, more money and amount of places I think but could be wrong.

[strangerthanfiction]

Gingerbear, they say 1 day is confusing because they just get settled in and then have a week before they go back. Or so the nurseries say. I think at pre-school age there are more opportunities for half days but so far in my looking at private nurseries they don't offer half days at all. I guess it would be hard for them to fill the other half day?

[wild]

The nursery I use is attached to a University and can be booked by sessions - either mornings lunch-times or afternoons. Most of the places go to staff/students but the remainder to locals. Is there anywhere like this near you perhaps? My friend's son did two mornings a week and this worked well for them.

[bundle]

imho with just once a week it's too long until the next time they come into that environment. two half days would be preferable. the carers at dds nursery refuse just one day per week children as in their experience it just doesn't help the child at all. i trust their opinion

[GeorginaA]

We used to take ds1 to a day nursery for one day a week starting at when he was 9 months old. We had a struggle to find a nursery that would let us, but he had no issues at all settling in. In fact, the owner said she couldn't understand why other nurseries insisted that children have a harder time settling in with only 1 day a week, as in her experience it was never an issue (and she had quite a few 1 day-ers).

[strangerthanfiction]

I can imagine why it might be a problem but on the other hand dd does have a pretty good memory so it's not like she's going to forget everything after a week?

[Tia]

There is a programme on tonight on BBC1 about bad nurseries - I would go with the most expensive one for one day. May put you off altogether!

[dinny]

Strangerthanfiction, my dd started nursery at 16 months doing two afternoons a week and we've now worked up to 3 days. I think she did find it harder to settle as not there that much. But she LOVES it now.
I wanted to say that I found price to be no guarantee of quality - my nursery is about average price. I'm very happy with it (I looked at 20 nurseries before deciding on it - it shone through). The pricier nurseries often seemd much more impersonal/larger/less loving to me.
Good luck.

[strangerthanfiction]

I can't see that programme advertised, tia. Is it definitely tonight?

dinny, I'd go for 2 half days like a shot if I could but as I said none of the nurseries I've contacted have offered that at all. Only a very few have offered a single day.

[muminlondon]

the nursery programme is tonight (thurs), 9pm on BBC1

[strangerthanfiction]

Hmmm, don't know whether to watch it or not!

[marialuisa]

STF, the programme will probably just confirm your views about the cheaper nurseries! I really wouldn't contemplate sending her to the cheaper "dreadful" ones.

As others have said, could you hang it out for a few more months until she's 2? A surprising number of playgroups and "nursery schools" (as opposed to day nurseries) will take them at that age. i think (depending on the nursery) that these can sometimes be more enjoyable for the child than a straightforward "daycare" (if you don't need to follow working hours).

[iota]

Expensive does not always equal good - my 2 boys went to a council run nursery, so it was a bit cheaper than the private ones.

The nursery had excellent purpose built facilities and follows high standards laid out by the council (council runs 8 nurseries in total). The staff are better paid than in the private sector, have a career path and lots of training. Consequently the nurseries attract high quality staff and have a low turnover.

They also have an open door policy where you can turn up at any time and leave or collect your child, so you can see for yourself what is going on at any time. You can also stay in the room and chat/ settle your child/discuss issues etc and watch how the staff are interacting with the children.

I have looked at several other private nurseries and was not as impressed as I was by the council one. Smart nursery uniforms for the kids might look impressive, but do not sit well with messy play and children having a good time.

I could bore on again with other factors, but I know I've posted re this before. Have a trawl though some old threads.

[marialuisa]

Iota- STF described the cheaper nurseries as "dreadful", what I was trying to say is that the horror programme tonight may well ring bells for her about whay she was uncomfortable with those nurseries.

whilst I agree price isn't everything, council subsidised day nurseries are different to cheap private day nurseries. IME a private nursery that can undercut the competition by £10 per day is usually cutting corners. It's up to individual parents whether those shortcuts bother them. I wouldn't have left DD at the daycare where they fed 6 month old babies those 5p packs of crisps as part of their lunch. Other people wouldn't be that bothered.

[iota]

Totally agree, Marialuisa

[Mum2Ela]

FWIW DD (23 months) has been going to nursery 1 day a week since she was 8 months old and she has never told me it confuses her!

[muminlondon]

I think marialuisa's point is worth noting - the government is now funding children from 3 onwards in nursery schools for something like 3 sessions a week so you could find a nursery school which takes pupils from 2-5 and increase the sessions within a year without charge but not have to disrupt her routine and put her somewhere else.

[strangerthanfiction]

Thanks a lot everyone.

marialuisa I am planning on waiting til dd's 2 because, as you say, there's a lot more choice. But I need to be looking round now with a mind to settling her as soon after her 2nd birthday as possible.

I'm watching the BBC1 programme. Yes, it's confirming my worst fears!

I haven't seen a council-run nursery yet. The ones I refer to as 'cheaper' are private and under £30 a day. The more 'expensive' ones are £50ish a day. I don't know what it's like elsewhere in the UK but in London they tend to be either expensive and full of the kids of 'professional' parents, or cheap and pretty run down.

muminlondon that's exactly what I'd like to do re. finding somewhere she could ideally convert to a 'pre-school' situation.

[hoxtonchick]

Are you in a Surestart area, strangerthanfiction? Worth investigating what facilities they provide if so, there should definitely be high quality, flexible, affordable daycare. You can check whether you live in an eligible area on the website here .