a bit of nursery advice

[strangerthanfiction]

My dd is 22 months and has never been away from me or dp before. I work 2 days and he looks after her on those days. We're now in a position financially for her to have a day or two at nursery which would give me a little break (I look after her solo the other 5 days so am effectively working a 7-day week) and would hopefully be good for her. The thing is we don't have a massive budget so we can either afford 1 day in a 'posher' nursery or 2 days in a 'cheaper' one. We've visited a 'posher' one yesterday which was nice. I've visited 2 'cheaper' ones which were pretty dreadful. I'm in a dilemma though as I know it's probably not a good idea to send a 22 month old for just 1 day a week as she will find it hard to settle.

What do you think I should do???

[muminlondon]

STF, apologies if I'm giving you obvious information, but you can get a listing of LEA nursery schools under 'pupils 2-5' on the Ofsted site (and associated reports) here . Good luck anyway.

[marialuisa]

Must be a london thing. There were no nurseries that charged more than £35 a day in our area and the average cost was about £28 (at hich level they were all much of a muchness). Then there were a few nurseries that charged about £15 per full day and they made the places on TV last night look like kiddy heaven! sorry if my comments have offended anyone.

good luck STF, as others have said, you'll know when you've found the right one.

[strangerthanfiction]

muminlondon, I'm actually in the process of checking out our local school, the one I'd like dd to go to at pre-school time, to see if they do anything for younger kids. I don't mind waiting til she's 2.5. Or even 3 if I have to!

[muminlondon]

sorry, I should correct something I said there - a nursery school/kindergarten can't refuse to take children who aren't toilet trained because that would be discriminatory - it's not about insurance, but there are legal requirements about the number of staff in a room. But anyway, she's a qualified teacher rather than a nursery nurse.

[muminlondon]

my sister works as a teacher in a private nursery school - I think the youngest children are 2.5 years old as the children are expected to be toilet trained because the teachers are not insured to change nappies and in some schools 3 is the lower limit. She has warned me that some nurseries can be too structured - worksheets, that sort of thing - but if well-run encourage imagination and self-confidence. They have half-day sessions. Some places like that also have daycare centres attached for younger children or for wrap-around care - I think the staff are nursery nurses rather than teachers. But my understanding is that the set-up is quite different (nothing like the horrors in that programme).

[strangerthanfiction]

Thanks hoxtonchick, I've been checking out that website too. Hard to tell from the Childlink which are surestart run centres though. Of about 30 nurseries I've looked at info for, not ONE of them offers half days ...

Batters, the moment I walk into a nursery and get a feeling of love and warmth and general friendliness towards dd I'll feel happy with it, whether expensive or cheap. So far I've met mostly a lot of apathy and exhaustion from staff. Which I understand. Especially after seeing that damned programme last night.

[hoxtonchick]

Are you in a Surestart area, strangerthanfiction? Worth investigating what facilities they provide if so, there should definitely be high quality, flexible, affordable daycare. You can check whether you live in an eligible area on the website here .

[strangerthanfiction]

Thanks a lot everyone.

marialuisa I am planning on waiting til dd's 2 because, as you say, there's a lot more choice. But I need to be looking round now with a mind to settling her as soon after her 2nd birthday as possible.

I'm watching the BBC1 programme. Yes, it's confirming my worst fears!

I haven't seen a council-run nursery yet. The ones I refer to as 'cheaper' are private and under £30 a day. The more 'expensive' ones are £50ish a day. I don't know what it's like elsewhere in the UK but in London they tend to be either expensive and full of the kids of 'professional' parents, or cheap and pretty run down.

muminlondon that's exactly what I'd like to do re. finding somewhere she could ideally convert to a 'pre-school' situation.

[muminlondon]

I think marialuisa's point is worth noting - the government is now funding children from 3 onwards in nursery schools for something like 3 sessions a week so you could find a nursery school which takes pupils from 2-5 and increase the sessions within a year without charge but not have to disrupt her routine and put her somewhere else.

[Mum2Ela]

FWIW DD (23 months) has been going to nursery 1 day a week since she was 8 months old and she has never told me it confuses her!

[iota]

Totally agree, Marialuisa

[marialuisa]

Iota- STF described the cheaper nurseries as "dreadful", what I was trying to say is that the horror programme tonight may well ring bells for her about whay she was uncomfortable with those nurseries.

whilst I agree price isn't everything, council subsidised day nurseries are different to cheap private day nurseries. IME a private nursery that can undercut the competition by £10 per day is usually cutting corners. It's up to individual parents whether those shortcuts bother them. I wouldn't have left DD at the daycare where they fed 6 month old babies those 5p packs of crisps as part of their lunch. Other people wouldn't be that bothered.

[iota]

Expensive does not always equal good - my 2 boys went to a council run nursery, so it was a bit cheaper than the private ones.

The nursery had excellent purpose built facilities and follows high standards laid out by the council (council runs 8 nurseries in total). The staff are better paid than in the private sector, have a career path and lots of training. Consequently the nurseries attract high quality staff and have a low turnover.

They also have an open door policy where you can turn up at any time and leave or collect your child, so you can see for yourself what is going on at any time. You can also stay in the room and chat/ settle your child/discuss issues etc and watch how the staff are interacting with the children.

I have looked at several other private nurseries and was not as impressed as I was by the council one. Smart nursery uniforms for the kids might look impressive, but do not sit well with messy play and children having a good time.

I could bore on again with other factors, but I know I've posted re this before. Have a trawl though some old threads.

[marialuisa]

STF, the programme will probably just confirm your views about the cheaper nurseries! I really wouldn't contemplate sending her to the cheaper "dreadful" ones.

As others have said, could you hang it out for a few more months until she's 2? A surprising number of playgroups and "nursery schools" (as opposed to day nurseries) will take them at that age. i think (depending on the nursery) that these can sometimes be more enjoyable for the child than a straightforward "daycare" (if you don't need to follow working hours).

[strangerthanfiction]

Hmmm, don't know whether to watch it or not!

[muminlondon]

the nursery programme is tonight (thurs), 9pm on BBC1

[strangerthanfiction]

I can't see that programme advertised, tia. Is it definitely tonight?

dinny, I'd go for 2 half days like a shot if I could but as I said none of the nurseries I've contacted have offered that at all. Only a very few have offered a single day.

[dinny]

Strangerthanfiction, my dd started nursery at 16 months doing two afternoons a week and we've now worked up to 3 days. I think she did find it harder to settle as not there that much. But she LOVES it now.
I wanted to say that I found price to be no guarantee of quality - my nursery is about average price. I'm very happy with it (I looked at 20 nurseries before deciding on it - it shone through). The pricier nurseries often seemd much more impersonal/larger/less loving to me.
Good luck.

[Tia]

There is a programme on tonight on BBC1 about bad nurseries - I would go with the most expensive one for one day. May put you off altogether!

[strangerthanfiction]

I can imagine why it might be a problem but on the other hand dd does have a pretty good memory so it's not like she's going to forget everything after a week?

[GeorginaA]

We used to take ds1 to a day nursery for one day a week starting at when he was 9 months old. We had a struggle to find a nursery that would let us, but he had no issues at all settling in. In fact, the owner said she couldn't understand why other nurseries insisted that children have a harder time settling in with only 1 day a week, as in her experience it was never an issue (and she had quite a few 1 day-ers).

[bundle]

imho with just once a week it's too long until the next time they come into that environment. two half days would be preferable. the carers at dds nursery refuse just one day per week children as in their experience it just doesn't help the child at all. i trust their opinion

[wild]

The nursery I use is attached to a University and can be booked by sessions - either mornings lunch-times or afternoons. Most of the places go to staff/students but the remainder to locals. Is there anywhere like this near you perhaps? My friend's son did two mornings a week and this worked well for them.

[strangerthanfiction]

Gingerbear, they say 1 day is confusing because they just get settled in and then have a week before they go back. Or so the nurseries say. I think at pre-school age there are more opportunities for half days but so far in my looking at private nurseries they don't offer half days at all. I guess it would be hard for them to fill the other half day?