Why do people work part time ? I've never understood it...

[mozhe]

I never have, but lots of colleagues in NHS did....you end up doing 3/4 of the work for 1/2 the salary, and get passed over in the promotion stakes...And have you noticed that it's nearly always women who do this ? Why ? I actively discourage junior staff from doing this but lots seem to....

Yes she has a childlike charm

She has children who seem to enjoy spending time with her and seem pretty well-adjusted, she has a successful career, she never gets riled by some pretty offensive baiting - what's not to like?

GSS, if you particularly retype one question you think I missed I'll try to answer it but I need to get to bed now.

roset, that's lovely. If you were likely to earn more than your husband it might not make economic sense to the family though or be fair on him surely? Why should he slog his guts out just because he has a penis whilst you get to stay at home? It's very unfair.

It's interesting how some parents can't bear to be parted and others will return to work. I wonder what drives that? We can't really say working parents love their children less because I'm sure that's not so and I certain recognise those feelings you so nicely described. The gorgeous new baby. They're so special. I wonder how different if at all my 22 year old would be now if I'd not gone back to work when she was little. A lot of mine seem to be fixed how they were at birth. She was a bad sleeper. At 22 this week in particular she's got really bad insomnia.

I must have missed something. What is meant by don't use the 'kids' word on threads I am on?
Do you mean 'kids' as in children? or something more sinister (like baby goats?!)

I get the impression that Xenia is out of her depth and has no substance to back up her comments, therefore just repeats the same invalid and insulting argument over and over again.

Much as I am all for hearing, and hopefully learning from other people's opinions, I am also all for not wasting time or energy (or anymore time or energy!)on arguments that don't make sense and are put forward in a manner that shows ignorance and intolerance of other people (be them Blond, GCSE failures, p/timers, sahms, lower IQ holders, the uneducated, kids (human children in this instance), Men of all types, trophy wives, people who use the 'kids' word in posts etc etc.. Did I miss any groups ladies?).

As such, it would be wiser for me to go and do something terribly mundane and boring - like check on my baby and maybe change a nappy, while thinking about what to put in my other two kids' (human children again) lunches tomorrow. Maybe I will even go so far as to tumble dry my ds' swim kit. But that might be just too adventurous for a mere sahm like myself - I am getting brain ache just thinking about it. I might leave the swim kit until tomorrow - what do you all think - am I tackling too much in one day?

Thank you Xenia for an entertaining chat - reminds me that I am doing a great job supporting my family and confirms that my decision to leave a high powered f/time job to become a sahm was one of my best decisions - lest I ever start to have views like yours.

Hope to see you on more constructive threads ladies.

Chica - I think some people on MN think "kids" is chavvy and feel the need to distance themselves from it. I don't know if this is Xenia's case and the thread is too long for me to read it all.

That is SO funny - I would not be surprised if that was the case - the word 'kids' upsetting Xenia. Reminds me of Mrs Bucket - fake but desperately trying to be something she's not. Shall I submit a list of vocabulary for approval?
Do try to remember that there are international mumsnetters here who have variations in lingo. Maybe you should peruse all threads for words that upset you and don't take part - may do us all a favour.
Best wishes Xenia - and Ciao from me and my kids. Sorry could not resist

I don't know if this is Xenia's reason, she might have others, but I know "kids" has been discussed on MN some months back and it was blacklisted for use amongst the Quality.

In answer to the OP I work part time because I want to spend time with my children.

I work 3 days a week and my dh works evenings and weekends. We have always worked this way since our first dd was born almost 10 years ago.
I work because we need the money to support the lifestyle that we enjoy. We don't have a lavish lifestyle but we can afford to save up for holidays and have day trips away, eat out now and again etc

I'm not ruling out full time work, one day in the future I plan to work full time again but for the moment this situation suits us perfectly. As others have said on this thread I work to live I don't live to work.

Thankfully there are more than 500 posts about kids on MN so I don't see what the issue is. Is this the new swear word? If so MN has big problems and so do people who live in the real world but get bothered (or should I say bovered) by words in the English dictionary. I am amazed and even though not the slightest bit chavvy, which is so stereotypical in itself, can't see the problem. Seems to me that some people complain about inconsequential things in a world full of major problems. They need to 'Get a life' as they say.

I sometimes call my children 'kids' on mn because it's easier to type.

I don't call them ds1 and ds2 in RL, either!

Some people need to get a life!

oh crikey

Chica, you have made more sense in a handful of posts than Xenia has made in her entire (extremely lenghty) career on Netmums. If people want to take you to task on using the word 'kid' rather than absorb the good sense you have taken the time and thought to typed - fuck 'em.

excuse typos - my typing has gone to pot since I had kids. ;-)

Please don't use quality like that either., You can have good quality or bad quality so quality of itself does not necessaryily mean bad or good. I hate the way advertisers use it - Quality foods" - do they mean bead quality or good quality. Yet when we write about people we say they have good qualities or bad qualities. That's another one you can leave off threads I am on. We working mothers have very sensitive feelings too, you know. I cringe whenever I see the word mum - even the name of the site is dreadful. Makes one recoil in horrow.

No one uses kids really that I know. As my mother always said - a kid is a baby goat.

Xenia, are you one of those women who insist on your children calling you 'mother'. PMSL.

To say that women use the excuse of becoming a SAHM or a part-time worker because they know they would not reach the top of their profession is one of the most obnoxious and totally erroneous polemics I have had the misfortune to come across.

Does anyone remember Brenda Barnes who was CEO of Pepsi-Cola North America between 1996-1998? She stepped down because she wanted to spend more time with her three young children.

She encapsulated her decision by saying this in an interview "It is about parenthood, not womanhood".

Now that may seem trivial and inconsequential to the more strident and unsentient Alpha she-males amongst us but she obviously decided that something had to give. In 2005 she was appoined CEO of Sara Lee. So taking a few years off did not dent her prospects.

I work part-time, enjoy it and I certainly have not chosen this path because I was incapable of advancing my career. In fact, I chose to move out of management because for me, it was incompatible with the life-style that I want for the next few years. That kind of decision requires intelligence, fortitude and absolute confidence in ones ability that they will continue to have a meaningful career and guess what, I have that and much more.

xenia - fwiw I agree with you about the use of the word 'quality'. 'Kids' doesn't bother me - it's just a useful shorthand. I prefer 'mummy' to 'mum' but DS#1 calls me that already and I daresay the others will too.

Sorry - irrelavant to the debate but there we are.

Who really gives a toss what language Xenia finds acceptable or not? Would any of you actually interupt a real life conversation to say 'Please don't use that word in my presence, I don't like it'? Not unless the word was cunt, you wouldn't, NO, so stop being so bloody pretentious.

Anyway...back to the point...

Speedymama, your experience is mine also. I am highly educated and was extremely successful in my career. I chose to stop working long hours for a big corporation when I became a mum because it wasn't making me happy anymore. Simple as that.

I was raised a feminist, and to be honest, quite a selfish one at that. I don't believe I should have to suffer it out in a stressful workaholic life when I know full well there other options out there. I am smarter than that. I knew I could and would re-jig my lifestyle into something more workable and enjoyable for myself (and all involved).

I am not smug in my decision. I put it down to a combination of good luck (I have great family support, a fabulously supportive DH and have had generally fantastic opportunities in my life that many others perhaps haven't had) ...but also a lot of hard work, careful manouevering and good sense on my part.

I may not be in the majority - I am sure there are many dissatisfied part time working mums, unhappy with their lot, and I don't for a minute pretend that they aren't important in all of this - but I refuse to be pigeonholed as dim-witted and basically a bit of a sap for wanting (and getting) a lifestyle that allows me more time with my children and DH.

in this changing world, where more and more people are pushing for flexible working hours, remote working etc (not just mothers, I hasten to add) I also think I am way ahead of the game. Why slave a 12 hour day for The Man when you can work in a way that suits you - and your family - far better?

Not being 'bloody pretentious' loveangel - just stating an opinion. But I appreciate you feel very strongly but not need to be rude is there?

I have posted my feeling on part-time working further down and don't feel there's anything else to contribute to this circular debate.

Look, I'm not being intentionally rude, I just think its FAR MORE rude to interupt a genuine debate to criticise someone's perfectly reasonable use of language. I am specifically thinking of Xenia, to be honest with you.

I never swear either. Do more stay at home mothers swear and use words like kid than working mothers?

kids kids kids kids

oooops

oh for goodness sake
i say kid a lot. doesnt bother me
dont use it if yiou dont like iit
do you all have anything better to be worrying/squABBling over