Received THIS email from my manager

[Navrat]

I am a nurse and I started a new job at a hospital. I am a single mum and don't drive and I knew some visiting would be needed so I made sure I had a good plan in place to complete the job and manage chikdcare. On my first day I was informed I was going to be doing emergency visits. This is not something that I was informed of until the first day. The first week I did not get back to my children until 7pm. I was paid until 4:30pm, the rest was unpaid overtime and I was exhausted. The commute was taking me 2 hours one way and I quickly realised the job was not sustainable.

I emailed my manager and explained that the commute was too long for me but that I have loved being a part of the team and should another position become available that was part time I would be happy to take it. I explained that I was available for a meeting to discuss my resignation anytime and offered to help with the transition in any way I could. I reiterated that my experience of the team was completely positive and my decision was made due to the commute only.

I had emailed as there was going to be a new office created on Monday and I didn't think it was fair for them to set me up on a work station there only for me to not be remaining. In hindsight it would have been better to wait until Monday when I was in in person but I genuinely thought id done the right thing at the time.

The reply I received left my speechless. The manager called me a coward for emailing, informed me that not offering to work any notice was unprofessional and discourteous.She said I had group visits planned and I should have rang those workers individually to inform them if no longer be working with them. She was concerned by my lack of maturity and insight and stated that it I applied for another job at hospital I would not be getting an interview and I was not welcome to apply there for any positions. She said she would refuse to give me a reference. She then said my lack of professionalism makes her question if I am appropriate to be registered with any professional body. She said she will not consider giving me a part time position either now or in the future. She ended by saying she has no sympathy for my difficulties with childcare or commute.

This manager has never seen me in practice. She is my line manager but just arranged my induction. She has not experience of his I am in work. I'd only been in the job two weeks and my latest supervision showed my on site manager was very impressed by my work and attitude.

Maybe I shouldn't have emailed. I understand that. But in was courteous and polite in my email and offered to support with the transition. I offered to work with them to find a different role for me. I didn't offer a specific period of notice but was happy to work with them to set work some kind of notice. The email was one long angry personal attack. I feel it was incredibly unprofessional and lacking in any kind of empathy. Even if she was annoyed she Copenhagen politely explained she would have rather had an in person discussion and then thanked me for informing her of the resignation. I've never in my life seen such an unprofessional email from a professional mamager. I think they have huge difficulty recruiting specialist nurses and this was why she was annoyed and took her frustration out on me.

I am not wanted back there and so won't be serving any notice. I wasn't planning to reply to the email at all as I just didn't know what to say but my friend who works as a doctor at the hospital says I should go to BE as the comment that I'm not going to get another job there and I'm not allowed a reference are not for her to say and are unacceptable. He said the hospital will not have wanted a nurse with an in demand speciality to have been good never to apply again.

What would you do in this situation? I don't want to return to the hospital as it's too far from my home anyway. I have an interview lined up next week for another hospital. I was in tears for a few days but I'm starting to feel better now. Trying not to let this affect my confidence too much.

but it could also be that there's aspects of the job that were not mentioned at any stage of the recruitment stage. As was the case with me.

It was your job to find out if there were any aspect of the job unsuitable to you during the recruitment stage. Only you know your own circumstances and what is and isn't suitable. How is the recruiter supposed to read your mind?

It's reasonable to suspect a lot of things but sending personal attacks via email still isn't accrptable.

No, you're right. I've always just accepted the resignation without any comment and grumbled about it to others afterwards.

She doesn't have the authority to say I won't be getting a job there again. She's the manager of one tiny ward there. I don't need a reference from her. The manager who actually spent time with me has offered to give me one. Although as I had yet to sign the contract I probably would be best not putting it down as they don't count as my employer. I never got paid for the work I did as there was no contract.

Obviously there were background checks! I had to prove I was a qualified nurse and I was DBSchecked.

Sounds like this Bait and switch job isn't retaining people with Mug written on their foreheads and the Manager is %%$

It's not You it's Them [or her] You were Not told about a particularly different job before hand. One that makes an incredibly Huge difference.

((((((((Hugs)))) OP

I thought resignations had to be in writing. I wouldn't hand in my notice in person- I would make sure it was in writing to avoid any confusion. I would expect any manager to be a mature and decent enough human being to just accept it. I would definitely dob her in to HR. She shouldn't be managing people.

heart thank you. Its a tough profession! A lot of my colleagues complain that they have unsupportive managers. A part from this woman I've been very lucky so far.

Definitely contact HR and anyone else you can think of.

I understand her frustration, recruiting is an enormous pain in the arse & it’s incredibly frustrating when you feel people didn't think things through before they applied (in what way was a 2 hour commute ever going to work!?) and haven’t given it a fair chance, but reacting unprofessionally, as she has, never improves the situation. She’d have been far better to look at if she could use you part time while recruiting. Or if she felt it was too much hassle she could have declined politely.

No matter how frustrated she is, her email to you is totally unacceptable and she shouldn’t be allowed to get away with treating people like that. Imagine if you had had to stay and be bullied by her?

Good luck with your interview next week 💐

I actually think its a good thing you've emailed as you have a communications trail rather than a 'he said, she said' scenario.

I would email HR something along the lines of:
Dear HR
I recently took up a post within your hospital but within a short period of time I realised the position would not fit in due to a lengthy commute and family commitments as I was advised on my first day that it would include emergency visits, which had not agreed upon beforehand.

Please find attached my email to my line manager explaining the issues, tendering my resignation and offering assistance with the transition and her response which I feel is an unnecessary personal attack and completely unacceptable.

I would appreciate your comments on her response as I consider the situation was not handled professionally at all.

Love the random Copenhagen typo - made me proper lol!

I'm staggered by her response. It's beyond unprofessional and she sounds unhinged. Yes it's frustrating to lose a new hire, especially for something they should have known, like length of commute but it still doesn't justify her response.

I'd email back with something short, factual and unemotional and copy hr in and probably her own boss for good measure!

ps good luck with the interview and the email.

Billy's message is spot on.

i wouldn't worry then, she sounds horrible. good luck finding something else. i think some of the people commenting on here aren't nurses lol. they like to lull you into a false sense of security until you actually start and find out what the real job is

Thanks everyone. What should I say to HR? Is it had it I don't reply to her email (aka personal attack)

”I think they have huge difficulty recruiting specialist nurses and this was why she was annoyed and took her frustration out on me.”

Exactly. But you say she doesn’t actually have any sway over your career and you don’t need a reference from her. So just put it behind you, surely? She was having a bad day, probably has a very stressful job finding suitable staff, and lashed out unprofessionally when a “last straw” happened. Of course it was wrong of her. But she’s not fired you and (you say) can’t prevent you getting other work. So what would you be looking to gain from any kind of complaint?

I deleted the email as I was so upset by it I just psychologically didn't want it on my phone. However my friend says HR and her manager have an audit trail of all emails sent by any of their employees even if she had deleted it off her computer. He says they will be easily able to locate it.

I don't think any to cause a fuss but do think something should be done.

I can understand your point OP but I'm a little baffled that you must have known that the commute was going to add hours onto your day when you took the job?

I would be very frustrated if someone took a job then left it within days saying it was too far away from home. It's a lot of paperwork to employ someone, let alone a nurse given the checks etc. She didn't reply in a very nice way but I can also see that she must be incredibly frustrated. I'd make sure that you take a more suitable job from the word go next time, and chalk this one up to experience.

No, I wouldn't respond directly to her, just go straight to HR

Just putting the employers point of view here - it is expensive to recruit workers. Advertising the role can be costly, the interviewing takes time - to have someone take the role and then leave quickly means repeating the process.

I don't think the manager's email was ideal, no. She probably doesn't have the ability to stop the hospital employing you again but she would probably not consider you for a role in her section again. I'm not sure what BE is that you mention in your post - is that HR?

But - you must have known the commute before you took the job! If it took two hours one way and you were due to finish work at 4.30, was it half an hour extra every day (you said you got home at 7.00pm). The employer doesn't have any control over your journey to work, they would assume you were fine to do it if you applied for a job there so to have you say it's a reason for leaving two weeks in is baffling for them.

I don't think you should have contacted each member of the team individually as the email mentioned. If you want to clarify with HR if you can apply for further posts at the hospital I wouldn't blame you but if they are based in the same place then the commute is exactly the same.

Good luck with the interview for next week OP, focus on that and put this job behind you for now.

It might still be in your archived mail. Its worth checking

are you sure you didnt post about this the other day??

her reply as you know, was totally unacceptable. However, i do think you should have been more personable - arranging a meeting discussing difficulties, and then emailing resignation is better than a totally unexpected resignation (especially as she has had little contact with you). I would also have expected you to work notice out of courtesy until a replacement is found, and for you to suggest this in your email.

As someone who worked in HR, I've never had an audit trail of emails! Perhaps I could have asked our IT department but I wouldn't bank on that!

I would contact HR and attach the email as I think it wholly unprofessional of the line manger and I would think that HR would want to know about this sort of thing.

I thought resignations had to be in writing. I wouldn't hand in my notice in person- I would make sure it was in writing to avoid any confusion.

The usual method is to tell your line manager face-to-face and follow it up with a letter/email afterwards. That's what most employers will be used to.

But OP said she was told on her first day that she would in fact be doing work (emergency visits) which had not been mentioned in any stage of the recruitment process, and this is the aspect of the job which has caused her trouble. So I think the fault is with the employers, who either didn't think about the impact of a dramatic change in work location on any employee, or felt that (despite the recruiting crisis WRT skilled people) anyone lucky enough to get a job should be humble, grateful and obedient.

If OP is the same as OP of a similar thread, this is an organisatiion that gave her no contract and also hasn't paid her when they should have done, so the problem is defiitely at their end.

I would forward the emails to whoever is above the manager . Whatever their view is on what you’ve said in your email - her email sounds rude and personal therefore unacceptable . Definitely make a complaint

You'll have a folder of deleted emails, surely? Have a quick look and see if you can retrieve it. She's been really rude!