Working w clients in poverty - what to wear?

[lizzieoak]

One of the jobs I’ve applied for is with government, working with clients in poverty. Seeing what benefits they can get etc (& I’d be trying to see what they could have rather than what I could deny them).

A friend of mine works in the same department, though at another site. She’s not as into clothes as I am, is more conservative/casual. Dresses a bit old for her age to my taste (not that there’s anything wrong with that, just explaining the setting. And I don’t dress in anything revealing, ever, or youf, but have always liked clothes).

Anyway, my friend says that the Work culture is that you dress frumpy so as to not upset the clients. Her thinking being that they’re stressed about being poor so don’t want to see your cashmere jumper (that you got from the charity shop).

This sounds a bit patronizing, or something, to me. I have a shitload of clothes as I’m the same size I was at 20 so still have things from the 80’s (though I do not plan on wearing my orange paisley cords to work - I’m not mad and my taste has moved on). And I don’t want to dress like my mum at work!

What say you, mumsnet? Hide my light under a bushel? I can see not wearing my vintage hot pink and red paisley dress, but can’t I wear Gap office cigarette trousers and an angora jumper?

Fwiw, I live in Canada and the overall style is sporty and casual. The person who interviewed me was wearing a baggy tshirt and elastic waist bottoms.

Oh, and my friend also said that if your outfit looks too nice or interesting people will think you’re not focussed on your job, but on how you look. This sounds bonkers to me, but she swears it’s a thing.

A big part of this type of work is making the client comfortable, and being able to relate to their circumstances. Honestly, your issues around clothing are ridiculous. It's not all about you.

If you do get the job, you need a serious think about your priorities.

lizzie have you thought about counselling? Said genuinely but you have posted quite a lot on this Board and the common theme is always that you were bullied in previous roles.

Your posts indicate you have unresolved issues that you may need to reconcile, before being out into a role where you are having to support other vulnerable people, which may not be the best approach until you've become stronger and put your issues behind you.

Or maybe just consider if this particular role is right for you at this point in your life.

Worrying about clothing, to the detail and extent you are, is quite concerning, when surely common sense prevails in terms of choosing something bland, not 'high-fashion' and practical. Forget whether 'boring' it really doesn't matter.

I used to do a similar job. We had one high up manager who gave all the new staff a pep talk which included not wearing too uch h (i.e. any) "real" jewellery because the clients couldn't afford it so it looked bad. The clients used to come in dripping in gold!!!
Jeans and shirts were not allowed. I don't think anyone deliberately dressed down (rather patronising imo) but just wore normal office attire

I have a similar job.
There are two schools of thought on this. Some people recommend going casual so as not to look intimidating. Others think business dress is reassuring so the clients feel they've got a serious person on their side.
I really don't know which one is correct and I suspect it depends on the client.
I lean towards casual myself but more because that's what I feel comfortable in and can afford.
Today I am wearing flat calf high boots (these are nice and were designer ), black leggings (primark), claret coloured tube skirt (also primark) and loose black roll neck jumper (Asda).
I usually go for skirt and jumper but sometimes I wear a dress with either a cardigan or a suit jacket or trousers with a jumper.

Er, Francis, a cami is not underwear! Ffs. Sent home indeed. Unless you’re working in the office of a Presbyterian church there is nothing wrong with wearing a shirt where your arms and collar bone can be seen.

And Bombardier, did the part about me worrying about everything due to being bullied fly right past you?

This is precisely why I worry about this sort of thing. Because some women can be quite mean if they perceive that someone is a bit different to them.

I think a fair number of people on benefits would respond well to a kind person so long as they didn’t look intimidatingly posh. I come from a working class background but went to a state school with a lot of posh kids, so always feel I can talk to anyone. I like people, and like helping people, and I think people pick up on that (in person).

I’ll definitely listen to majority opinion, but there’s no need for anyone to get nasty.

Have you thought that maybe it could hit a raw nerve to people on here who, themselves may not see clothing as a priority nor the budget that gives them the luxury of choice.

Far be it for me to comment on what other people are feeling or posting, but it cuts both ways and maybe you need to be empathetic too. Empathy will be an attribute that will carry you in the role you've applied for.

I’m about to start a similarish job although working with families in their homes and I intend to stick to black skinny jeans, flat boots and a jumper/ long sleeved top.

Thanks Daisy - I probably do need counseling re the bullying but can’t afford any. It’s possible I could get a bit of confidence back by helping people though.

Thanks Unlimited! That outfit sounds lovely :) It was recommended to me to wear beiges and greys but that seems too far. Nice to hear colour is fine.

Starfish, that’s interesting, I appreciate your take on it. I don’t have any jewelry to speak of, certainly no gold nor precious or semi-precious stones. And I thought it could be seen as a bit patronizing too! But some say not.

But Daisy, I’m on a really limited income. I just haven’t changed size in 30+ years so unless stuff wears out I don’t get rid. I shop at charity shops, and people give me stuff. And if they don’t see clothes as a priority why be mean to people who like clothes? One of my very best friends is a very practical dresser and buys clothes solely for comfort but she doesn’t feel bothered that I like clothes, just as I don’t take it personally that she likes watching curling on tv.

I wouldn’t go on someone’s thread where they said “I am not interested in clothes, I’ve been bullied a lot” and give them a hard time. Why would someone do that?

I am a manager in a sector where we work with young people in schools (not teaching), out in the community etc. We are public sector. My colleagues wear all sorts, they generally look pretty smart, but tend to avoid anything sheer, revealing, or too blingy.
Some of my colleagues like wearing vintage, some like leggings and tunics, some wear trousers and blouses.

Maybe that part of it is cultural? Where I live women wear camisoles in warm weather as a very very very normal and okay top. It is seen as underwear by absolutely no-one (bar possibly religious fundamentalists). It is absolutely normal and indeed chic to wear chiffon shirts in offices of all kinds and in banks. I’m normally freezing so wear them w cardies or suit jackets, but there would be nothing wrong w wearing one without the arms covered.

I think you should wear what you want as long as it's not revealing or too obviously expensive. It's patronising to your clients to think you have to wear drab colours and cheap items. This is one point in their lives - they won't resent you - a low paid government worker - for wearing something bright.

That woman who's advising you on what to wear sounds bonkers, to be honest. She thinks you should wear an inoffensive beige? Well, beige can be VERY offensive!

"It was recommended to me to wear beiges and greys but that seems too far. Nice to hear colour is fine."

Ooh no. That's sounds too far! I'm sure it can't be necessary to go beige!

For the first day or two, I would play safe and dress exactly like your friend suggests. Then after the first few days, you can tell by what your fellow workers are all wearing what the norm is for that office, and decide whether or not to conform to that.

But she doesn't have to dress like everyone else. She's an individual and as long as she's not indecent then she will be fine.

Honestly, if I were coming to you I would be insulted if you'd changed your clothes to something drab just because of work. I'd think you thought less of me as a person.

lizzie on the practicalities, I saw a great thread on Style and Beauty, where a MNer on a limited budget was saying she owns 2 pairs of trousers (navy and black) and 4 tops. She just cycled round different tops on an ongoing basis, one in the wash, one in the wardrobe, one on her and one in the ironing pile. Sometimes in winter she'd wear a top on two different days before washing. It's functional and smart and her main point, she didn't need to put any thinking into what to wear.

If you enjoy rooting round charity shops, a couple of coordinating scarves for $2-3 a piece can give the outfit a completely different look.

I think go with smart casual, neutral, comfortable, non-revealing at first and then as Hamish says, see what everyone else is wearing and go with the flow. You could pick up a few more bits in a charity shop if necessary, I don't think you will need to go out and buy a whole new frumpy wardrobe.

I think it must be different in Canada!
I work with a similar client group and my 'rules' are not revealing, and err, that's it. I have some lovely/ posh funky/ expensive/ edgy clothes and although I wouldn't wear a v high end coat, bag, shoes earrings and watch I'll probably be wearing 2/3 of them at any one time.
Your clients won't be in sackcloth and ashes, many of them could well have expensive clothes/ jewellery.

daisy That situation is my dream. One day, after much decluttering, I hope to live like that.

I don't think you will need to go out and buy a whole new frumpy wardrobe

That sounds like an awesome thread for Style and Beauty

"Come here and help me create a new frumpy wardrobe" 😆

Unlimited me too!! I have waaaay too much wardrobe clutter.

I think you are worrying too much. :)

I get that you want to express yourself through your clothes and feel like it's your thing and what you are noticed for. I don't think you need to compromise on that.

There is nothing stopping you from wearing some black trousers instead of tracksuit bottoms. Or a pretty blouse and skirt with thick tights.

I think given the environment you probabpy don't want to turn up in anything outrageous (but common sense tells you what that is) or something that makes everyone look at you when you walk in the room but there is a middle ground.

One thing I'd probably take heed of though is the advice about wearing flats. That seems very sensible. Plus, they will also instantly play down an outfit as well which it sounds like you are trying to do.

As for a cami, I'm guessing you don't mean the silk and lace type? But you mean more like a vest? I used wear sheer blouses with a vest in a very corporate environment. No issue as long as (and this is really important!) the vest doesn't have adjustable straps like a bra (otherwise it strays into underwear terratory) and you can't see any bra straps. My blouses were too sheer to wear just a bra but not so sheer that nude bra straps under a vest would show so that was fine. If they had been more sheer than a strapless bra would have been required. As an aside I love those tops with lace around the neck and arms but I hate seeing bra straps but it's too much effort to find a strapless bra so I don't wear them. Also bardot tops with bra straps? What's that about?

Oh FFS a cami under a sheer blouse is hardly the equivalent of a boob tube or crop top.

I work in a very conservative professional environment and the cami/sheer blouse is absolutely standard