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Original poster

Would you do this?

53 replies

AyeAyeFishyPie · 17/01/2018 20:25

I am a teacher. I am expecting our first child at the start of September.

I haven’t been happy in my role for a while but we wanted to TTC so I thought I would look for a job and TTC at the same time and see which came first. We conceived straight away.

BUT - I have seen a job come up that I am really interested in. If I got it I understand I wouldn’t get any mat pay but the pay rise would be substantial enough for it not to matter.

But it’s a dick move isn’t it? My current school don’t know I’m pregnant yet. I’m not showing, I could do the interview withiut telling them.

What do you think?

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 19/01/2018 23:24

Honestly, yes, I do think it's a dick move. Yes, it's legal and yes, having a child shouldn't impact the mother's career any more than the father's, it's just that the timing is so wrong.

The school interview you, deliberate, maybe argue, offer you the post, turn down other possible candidates, wave bye bye to the previous incumbent, prepare for your arrival and then you don't start. What are they supposed to do while they wait for you?

It will be much much easier for your current school to find maternity cover, given proper notice, than for the new school to fill the gap you will be leaving them with at short notice.

It's unlikely they will be able to get maternity cover for a senior management post. If it was teaching, they'd pull in supply teachers which would damage their budget but is at least doable. I suppose they could get one of the teachers to step up temporarily and use supply to cover their role. Not great for anyone except you though, is it?

McTufty · 19/01/2018 23:45

@heddagarbled but if she doesn’t apply, then when she has completed her maternity leave there may not be a post available. She had said they don’t come up all that often, so it may be she is stuck in her current job. She would therefore miss out on career progression for having had a baby and I do not agree that Is fair. Men do not have to make this choice in order to become parents.

And generally employment rights aren’t great for anyone except the individual employee. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have them.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 19/01/2018 23:53

I wouldn't do it.
It just seems all wrong to me.

starzig · 20/01/2018 00:09

If the job is September and you are due early September it should be OK surely. Just maybe mentioned it in case you are late and don't quite make the start date.

Lifeofpies · 20/01/2018 07:04

I wholeheartedly agree with McTufty.

I assume interviews are soonish, so if you are offered the post then there is plenty of time to get cover in order.

goodbeans · 20/01/2018 07:16

Have you considered taking a short maternity leave yourself and getting your DH to take a share so that you could take up the new post?

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 20/01/2018 07:30

I think I would only do it if I was going to take a short mat leave, say a term max. I think work environment is massively important, getting on with colleagues etc esp in high stress environments like teaching and I suspect you will rightly be met with a very frosty reception when you return. It may be different for men but equally you don’t have to take that long on mat leave. I do think it’s a dick move personally and one that will earn you very few allies with colleagues.

Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 20/01/2018 08:22

Thanks everyone. I'm still torn because frankly it doesn't sit quite right with me either but I'm also thinking alongoing mctufty's lines too. I wanted to wait to TTC until I had properly started a new job but was swayed by mumsnetters telling me not to wait. I blame mumsnet!!!

OP posts:
KungFuEric · 20/01/2018 08:36

Would you consider a short maternity leave of 6/10 weeks?

newmumwithquestions · 20/01/2018 08:38

Have you considered taking a short maternity leave yourself and getting your DH to take a share so that you could take up the new post?

This.
It’s shit that women’s careers are disproportionately disadvantaged over men’s ones. But you can’t have your cake and eat it unfortunately- if you want to take a year’s maternity leave then i don’t think you should go for the job - its massively playing the system and the rights that we do have and frankly it’s because of things like this that maternity rights cause employers problems.
I think it would be different if it was a promotion that you were due for in your current school as you’ve done your time there.

But I also think you’re looking at this the wrong way. I’m presuming here (and sorry if this is not the case) that 2 of you will be parenting?
So take shared parental leave.

www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay

The take up rate on this is massively low because it’s not the done thing yet. But your DH (assuming you have one) has the right to take this.

Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 20/01/2018 08:45

My DH is self employed (a barrister) so it complicates things a bit.

OP posts:
Lifeofpies · 20/01/2018 08:47

Oh yes, if you did want to consider shared leave you can still do this if you’re on Maternity Allowance, as long as your partner is eligible. I am hoping DH will take 3 months off and I will take 6.

I really object to the idea that it’s ‘playing the system’... it’s incredibly difficult managing a career and having children and things rarely work out perfectly. Women never really have our cake & eat it.

goodbeans · 20/01/2018 08:52

She had said they don’t come up all that often, so it may be she is stuck in her current job. She would therefore miss out on career progression for having had a baby and I do not agree that Is fair. Men do not have to make this choice in order to become parents.

Agree with this to a point, but it is not having a baby per se which would cause OP to miss out on career progression - I'm sure the school could readily accommodate a term on mat leave - but it is the choice to take the full maternity leave and not have the baby's father take that instead which is going to be difficult for the school to swallow.

Sympathies though OP, it's not an easy decision to make. If this is your first baby, you don't know how you might feel about returning to work that early. I would have been torn - I would have loved my adult life back but would have been loath to give up breastfeeding, which realistically I wouldn't have been able to maintain whilst working.

Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 20/01/2018 08:59

On one hand I worry that I would be so anxious that everyone judges me returning to work would be really fraught.

On the other I don't really buy the playing the system card. There's no shame in using the rights available to you.
In terms of disruption I do think that mat leave from my current job would be just as disruptive.

Gah.

OP posts:
KungFuEric · 20/01/2018 09:00

The timing sucks but I wouldn't do it op, not for a full year maternity leave.

Jenala · 20/01/2018 09:01

I got a bfp a month after getting a new job. I had to give over 2 months notice in my current role so by the time I started my new job I was 3 months pregnant. They got 6 months off me. It was a bit of a dick move, I was ttc and knew it would be quick. However they got 6 months work from me still. Management weren't happy and the atmosphere wasn't amazing though.

So I do understand and have done similar but personally think this is a bit far. You'd be accepting a job with a start date the same as your maternity leave start date. You wouldn't work for them at all so you'd basically be asking them to give you the job and defer it for a year. It's not just a case of finding cover, as you would when getting cover for an established staff member. It would mean getting two people up to speed on the role in two years. I think you should stay at your current school and look next January to see what comes up. If you were able to work at the new school for even a term I'd probably say differently.

And slightly off topic but fwiw all the "men don't suffer just because they have children" is a red herring here. They don't suffer because they generally only have 2 weeks off, not a year. If more men took long term paternity leave then the situation would be similar. With shared parental leave a woman who wants to can get back to work asap can and the balance will start to change.

I'm a woman who would rather stay at home the first year and take the hit on my career. I don't take the hit because of the patriarchy. I take the hit because I choose to take a year off work. Apparently though current feminism is all about making sure women are as similar to men as possible. Having children has zero value, the workplace and productivity is what counts. Which is an opinion that's really burning down the 'capitalist patriarchy' Hmm

Agyne · 20/01/2018 09:05

Yes it would be a total dick move.

I'm a teacher and we had someone do this, although she did at least start for a few months before going on ML.

As you well know, recruiting a decent teacher for part of a year is very hard.

People were not happy, although she seemed like a nice enough woman, and it definitely pissed parents off.

But you'll be the one having to do it, if you could brazen it out, and think the job will be a good long term option, do it.

ClareB83 · 20/01/2018 09:05

Not a teacher, but we had a woman get a promotion, work a week and then go on mat leave for a year.

No one thought badly of her. Maternity cover was easily arranged and we're a mainly female workforce - we got it.

greendale17 · 20/01/2018 09:09

I think work environment is massively important, getting on with colleagues etc esp in high stress environments like teaching and I suspect you will rightly be met with a very frosty reception when you return. It may be different for men but equally you don’t have to take that long on mat leave. I do think it’s a dick move personally and one that will earn you very few allies with colleagues.

^This.

RebootYourEngine · 20/01/2018 09:12

My answer would depend on how much maternity leave you were going to take. If it is only a term i would say go for it but if you were planning on taking the whole year i would say dont do it.

What you could do is apply for the job ans be fully open with the employers. Let them decide if they like you enough to employ you knowing that you wouldnt be starting straight away.

Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 20/01/2018 09:21

reboot yes I was thinking that. Telling them at interview if I got there (its a big promotion so I'm in no way confident, foetus of no foetus).

OP posts:
newmumwithquestions · 20/01/2018 15:06

we had a woman get a promotion, work a week and then go on mat leave for a year
See I think that’s fine. Because if it was an internal promotion then that woman would have already been working within the company. I think it’s different with a totally new job that you don’t intend to start for a year.

newmumwithquestions · 20/01/2018 15:18

My DH is self employed (a barrister) so it complicates things a bit.

I don’t know much (anything) about law but being self employed is the easiest way to have flexibility!

Could he reduce clients so that he only worked the bare minimum
for 6 months? You could ask the school if you could do 4 not 5 days during that time?

If you were a self employed barrister then what would you do regarding maternity leave?

I’m playing devils advocate here as my OH wouldn’t go part time which was what I wanted when we had DC but what pissed me off most wasn’t him saying he didn’t want to but my family and friends saying ‘oh but of course he couldn’t take a break from his job or reduce his hours’. When I pointed out if I did the same job I’d be trying to they said ‘oh but that’s different - you’re a woman’. Sexism alive and well in my circles!

ClareB83 · 20/01/2018 16:31

The promotion was from a totally different bit of a very large organisation so none of us had ever met her before, but I do get where you're coming from. I hunk the main thing is that in he public sector were quite understanding of mat leave, part time working etc

As to being a barrister it is very very difficult to control your hours. It's one thing to clear a week but quite another to reduce your hours over the long term, even if you took on less work you couldn't predict when it would be very easily and there would be significant pressure to take on more. Whilst private barristers are technically self employed they do need to keep the chambers manager/clerks happy to ensure they keep getting work. It's one of the reasons I'm an employed barrister.

MessySurfaces · 20/01/2018 20:08

Would it not be easier to cover a full year of maternity than a term?
I still think go for it. If you feel guilty, tell them before accepting the job, if you get offered it. They can offer the cover job to one of the other candidates, and they won't be out of pocket for your maternity pay because you won't be eligible. So really they get quite a good deal out of it, since they'll have to cover you at some point, no?