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Original poster

I feel TRAPPED!!!!! Anyone else feel the same way and how shall we plan our escape?

39 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:27

I am talking about being a SAHM and how on earth do you get out of SAHMdom and get back out to work?

I thought I had found a way out yesterday - a 6 week refresher course for me after 11 years of SAHMdom. BUT it would take place at just the time my youngest is going to start school and my oldest is starting secondary school, and I have tossed and turned all night thinking about it, and no way can I miss out on these milestones in their lives.

Anyway, the course was to get back into teaching and everyone I have spoken to who is a teacher, including my own sister, has told me it is really really hard combining teaching with motherhood - the job has changed so much, paperwork, planning, etc. So I don't really want to go back to teaching anyway.

Fine, so find another job? I am bright, hard working, reliable, should be a piece of cake, yes? BUT what do I do with my children in the school holidays? I have four, no family, no support group.

How on earth do I get back into the world of work? Please, does anyone feel the same as me?

OP posts:
nogoes · 24/04/2007 09:29

I know exactly how you feel and I have only been an SAHM for less than 3 years.

If you do anything you want to do, no matter how unrealistic what would you choose?

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:33

Well, in the realms of completely unrealistic, living with the fairies, fantasy world, I would have liked to have been a doctor.

But if you are talking the job I would like best now, given the life I have led, I would like to do something quiet and unpressurised, quite intellectual, in the world of history. The best idea I ever heard came from Moondog, funnily enough, and it was working for the National Trust, but when I looked into that, it was really only voluntary work and I would need to earn money!

OP posts:
Kbear · 24/04/2007 09:35

could you transfer your teaching skills to something like mentoring, LSA work in a college (school hols off!)?

Mog · 24/04/2007 09:36

What about offering yourself as a history specialist to schools to cover PPA time - particularly useful in primary I would think.

ledodgy · 24/04/2007 09:37

DG your career aspirations are exactly the same as mine. Looking back i should ahve done sciences at A level and become a gp. Howver I did arts and then a History degree. I'm thinking I should either teach (don't particulary want to but decent money and holidays off, good pension) However since I can't be a dr I would also like to do something else in the world of history as well. I have also looked into it and it would take alot of voluntary work first esp national trust and museum work.

ledodgy · 24/04/2007 09:39

Actually dg with your teaching experience you could apply to be a museum education officer. These are the people who write the teachers notes for school visits, liase with schools and teach history to adults in special sessions and lots lots more I always wanted to be one of these and if i do my pgce and teach for two years this is what I may go into.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:40

KBear - what does LSA stand for?
Mog - IME, most primary teachers love teaching history! Also, since I left teaching, subjects such as history seem to have taken even more of a back seat to the three main subjects than they did when I taught (if that makes sense!)
Ledodgy - kindred spirit! So what is the answer if teaching is not it?

OP posts:
ledodgy · 24/04/2007 09:41

DG see my 9.39 post.

nogoes · 24/04/2007 09:41

If you are fairly academic, how about a masters in a history related course before you decide?

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:41

Yes, good idea about museum education officer. I like that idea, also of taking kids around the museum when they visit. I used to love doing that when I was a teacher and took classes on trips. Very limited chance of finding work though... and it my case, the job would be most likely found in Bristol which would be a hard commute for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:43

No, can't really do any more studying. We need the money, big time. In fact, I would say needing to earn money would be the principal reason for finding work.

OP posts:
Wotzsaname · 24/04/2007 09:44

Hi DG.

Why couldn't you do the refresher course are the start and ends times not suitable? Will there be another one later in October, November once your little one has settled in ?

There will always be something to make you have second thoughts. Nothing will be perfect, which I am sure you know.

Teaching does fit in so well with school holidays.

Agree with Kbear- about teaching at college, which might be easier for a job share and be more flexible with the hours. etc.

Mog · 24/04/2007 09:45

Is there much supply work in your area? You could do this now without a refresher I would have thought. You won't miss those milestones and then you can see if you like teaching again. Also won't have all the stress of paperwork.
I've though about teacher training but have heard such awful stories about the workload it's putting me off.

ledodgy · 24/04/2007 09:46

What about working as a library assistant for now? It's instant money not that much I knwo but may help.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:51

I know I must sound a bit weak backing out of the course, but I did not go into all the details about it in my OP.

Basically, it starts the last week of the school holidays, so for starters, I would have to ask dh to take a week off work (straight after our two week holiday so I am not even sure if his work will let him have 3 weeks off in a row) to look after the children.

Then I would need to get my 2 middle children into after school club (they may not want to have them if they knew it was only for 5 weeks). My oldest, who would be just starting secondary school, would have to be left at home at 8 am and trusted to lock the house properly and go to school on time and then spend and hour and half on his own in the evening. Then I would have to deal with the youngest. He starts primary, but for the first 4 weeks goes only mornngs or afternoons (alternating) not the whole day, so I would need a childminder to take him at 8 and be available for him either mornings or afternoons. It might be hard to find one who wants to do that, again just for 4/5 weeks. The last week of the course, ds3 would be in school fulltime and would only need after school club like my middle two, but would they have him for just a week?

You see how complex it is?

Anyway, the course is only held twice a year so the next one would be next March/April. Yes, that is a possibility, but I really promised dh I would try to be earning by next January. (Our finances are very low after 11 years of one income and 4 children).

OP posts:
ledodgy · 24/04/2007 09:52

library assisistant gets your dh off your back until you start course next year?

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:56

Supply work might be an option (though I shudder at the prospect as it is exceptionally lonely, stressful and challenging IME)

Library work - hmm yes. Could do it. Where would the job be advertised? Council website?

In a way though, I don't want to get dragged down side routes as I really want to find a job I can concentrate on and develop. When I say we need the money, I don't really mean that desperately. If I just wanted money, I could shelf stack in Tescos. So there has to be a balance of money and career really.

OP posts:
ledodgy · 24/04/2007 09:57

see my 9.52 post.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 09:58

ledodgy, that sort of commitment I could only take on once ds3 was in fulltime education which looks to be by the last week of September. What site did you go to to get that page?

OP posts:
ledodgy · 24/04/2007 10:00

Think it was gloucestershire council I just googled research jobs in Gloucestershire I think.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 10:00

Ooh just found a job I like the sound of. Pity it is too far away!

See page 2 of your link ledodgy - support assistant in archives or something.

OP posts:
choosyfloosy · 24/04/2007 10:02

Tutoring for A-level/O-level?

I've just had a tutor for some A-level revision. I paid her £20 per hour plus £5 to mark each practice paper, which she provided. I found her via a local newssheet/website called Daily Info.

Just a thought. More flexible for now and you can advertise for exactly what you want to teach.

Also I am doing my A-level via the National Extension College (google it, sorry) and I bet they are keen for tutors.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 24/04/2007 10:02

I am actually in South Gloucestershire (old Avon county) so most Gloucestershire jobs are just that bit too far away for me. (Gloucester itself is 26 miles away). I want to be a bit nearer home really to cut out travel times.

OP posts:
Wotzsaname · 24/04/2007 10:02

Dg - its rubbish timing, so thats just no good. Forget the first course, maybe the second one would be OK, but the start and end times are great for your family.

For work, I would look at location, try and get something close to the schools/home and do something temporary (shop work), until you can take the course, it gives you time to see if another course similar would suit your requirements better.

Have you looked at what a local college have on offer in way of work or training?

Not sure what else to suggest. I carried on working (so I never experienced real SHAMdom), and have various jobs, because we needed the money.

Wotzsaname · 24/04/2007 10:03

are great for your family.

are NOT great for your family.