I feel TRAPPED!!!!! Anyone else feel the same way and how shall we plan our escape?

[DumbledoresGirl]

I am talking about being a SAHM and how on earth do you get out of SAHMdom and get back out to work?

I thought I had found a way out yesterday - a 6 week refresher course for me after 11 years of SAHMdom. BUT it would take place at just the time my youngest is going to start school and my oldest is starting secondary school, and I have tossed and turned all night thinking about it, and no way can I miss out on these milestones in their lives.

Anyway, the course was to get back into teaching and everyone I have spoken to who is a teacher, including my own sister, has told me it is really really hard combining teaching with motherhood - the job has changed so much, paperwork, planning, etc. So I don't really want to go back to teaching anyway.

Fine, so find another job? I am bright, hard working, reliable, should be a piece of cake, yes? BUT what do I do with my children in the school holidays? I have four, no family, no support group.

How on earth do I get back into the world of work? Please, does anyone feel the same as me?

I think the main problem is that I became a full time SAHM in the first place. I would never advise anyone to do the same. Being at home for your children is a valuable thing to do, but I think I should have combined it with PT work from the start. I now have no confidence in myself as an employee and just considering a small amount of juggling work and children seems like an outrageous thing to do to someone who has not had to for 11 years.

But, I am so desperately bored at home and I long to have a small role in the outside world, but I just can't see how I can do it with my 4 children. I feel so trapped

My friend works in museums, often in the education field. The busiest time is school holidays, half terms and weekends. Which might not be great if you have school age children.

I know teachers who find it does fit really well with having children, especially those who are working part time, or who have a partner who can do some of the childcare or be a bit flexible.

don't be

That is why even if you want to do the career route, sometimes, just getting 'a' job to start off with is a milestone.

That's all I was suggesting, for example, I would love to work PT in M&S I have been told there are fantastic to work for with lots of benefits. I would do it for a while, nice to chat to RL folk and get out of house and the kids stuff is great (discounts)

Yup, feel pretty similar. Have 3 - 2 will be at f/t schl in September, youngest will do the 2.5 hrs in the am. Have felt very trappppppped and borrrrrrrrrrred for ages. Do one morning in sons nursery helping out, have just been trying to arrange some other vol work with libraries (am a librarian) Am hoping to do something small scale this yr and go back to something paid next (we need the money). I think a foot in the door approach...........??? It is hard but I understand your yearning for something else.

What about supply teaching?

Yes, supply teaching is an option, but a pretty hairy one (see post of 9:56 - if you can do the refering to earlier posts thing, so can I! ).

Yes, a foot in the door. Good way of thinking about it. I can see that would help.

Sorry, feeling really dispirited about it all now. The only job that would give me minimal childcare issues is teaching and I just can't motivate myself consistently to want to do that. Yesterday I was all up for the course, today I couldn't care less about it.

How do I get motivated to do anything?

What about teaching assistant in a special school? One of my friends does that, in a school for autism/adhd and various special needs, because it fits well with school hours. She loves it. And she doesn't have all the marking and preparation that the teachers get, her evenings and weekends are free.

there are quite a few jobs in public sector now which are term-time only hours, often part-time too.Might suit? Tend to be more admin/lower level managerial jobs of all different types. NHS,local authority etc.Why not have a browse at what's out there and see what appeals and what you could talk yourself into matching with your skills & experience.

just an examplefor you to see:

www.oxfordshire.gov.uk

click on job vacancies then look at jobs or select accordingto hours you want to work - term-time only option

Think about where you want to be in 5-10 years time. If you don't do anything now then you'll still be as you are now. Keep thinking you have to take a small step now that you'll be grateful you did later on.

Also you need to get your dh involved in this. He needs to be part of the childcare solving puzzle. Certainly if you go back to teaching he's probably going to have to pick up more childcare to leave your evenings free for prep.

lol at me having a good idea 'funnily enough'.

You need to get back out there DG. Even if it's not ideal,dip a toe in the water. I sense your intellectual frustration and low feelings.

Go for it!!!

If it's just about money would you consider evening work in a supermarket or nursing home just to bring in some cash whilst waiting for your youngest to get settled into school?

LOL at Moondog. The minute I wrote that line, I knew you would see it and comment! I obviously didn't mean that it was odd you should come up with a good idea - I suppose I meant it was coincidental that another Mner, who has not met me, had been the one to plant the best idea in my mind.

Thanks again for comments/suggestions. I did not know for instance that council websites gave you the option of picking term time only jobs, though when I selected that on the Oxfordshire site, I only found school related jobs. If I don't teach, I don't really want to be in a school at all (so that rules out TA).

I also agree that dh needs to be more involved. He rang up earlier (he is in the States as usual) and agreed that the September course was not on and that maybe I should go for the course next spring with the aim of finding a teching job in Sept 2008.

But I am going off teaching in a big way now. Dh has always been 100% supportive of me doing whatever I want, but never very practical in his support. I told him today that had to change although, as the main breadwinner, earning far more than I ever could, his job will always have to come first.

We are not desperate enough for me to need to take any old job yet. At the moment, it has to bring in money (so nothing voluntary) but it also has to inspire me. I keep thinking of the archive assistant job I saw on ledodgy's link earlier. Shame it doesn't start in September/October!

DumbledoresGirl - first of all, I'm sure you'll be successful in getting back into the job market, because you're obviously motivated, keen and have a good insight into what you want/strengths/weaknesses etc/ There's a lot of good advice on this thread already - the only things I'd add are:

• although this refresher course may not work out at the moment, don't fall into the trap of waiting for the 'perfect' time to return to work - cos it won't arrive! As your children grow older , there will be different pressures and needs, so at some point you'll need to bite the bullet and think 'Right, there's going to be some compromise here, but it's time to move on to a new phase'.
• I also think you're right to be realistic about teaching. I teach F/T, and would certainly not have been able to manage if I hadn't always worked at least P/T when my children were little. The holidays are the only perk - I work long days, usually 8.15 til 5 pm minimum plus work at home in the evenings. But I am passionate about education being one of the most valuable careers there is - and if you feel that you have talents in this direction, then why not consider P/T??

-supply teaching, I agree can be grim. But again, is there the chance to get regular work in one school where you'll get to know the kids? -teaching assistant - a good way to ease back into the education while being able to work school hours and not have the pressure of whole class responsibility. -finally, although it's a whole other issue, I'm really interested in your comment that retrospectively, you wish you'd worked P/T all the way along. I agree that many women can find that their self confidence is really low after a long period of SAHMing. I've seen it in a number of my friends. But you're very honest to admit this, and I think your drive to get back into work shows through in your post. Best of luck!