Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Help!!! Just overhead another job candidate in toilet say this before interview!!!

80 replies

Annie105 · 31/10/2017 13:21

So I'm 45 minutes early for a second round of interviews. The recruitment consultant got my time wrong as the interviewers requested a 45 minute break for lunch....Anyway first interview I sailed brought they loved me I loved them really nice people quite informal work environment and I am here today to meet the founders of the company.

The recruitment agent put me forward and the other candidate came from elsewhere.

ANYWAY!!! So I'm still in the toilet cubicle as I went to loo to kill time and redo makeup and I just overhead a woman come in and make a quiet phone call saying the interview for this role went really well, they discussed salary and she mentioned her figure (helpful as I was going lower!!) and they also asked her right at the end in the "chatty part" if she had any family. She said she wasn't offended by them asking and in talking on phone laughed to whoever it was saying I know imagine I was pregnant answering that so she said "yes have two, one at nursery one at school and they asked her if she had any plans for a third!! " She said to her friend or whoever she was on phone with of course I told them no because who has time for a third but I might who knows.

Now me. I have one. He has just turned one. I've been looking for a job since got made redundant in February and I think I have a real
Shot at this job. However they are inevitably going to ask me that question, rightly or wrongly. Obviously I can avoid it, I can lie, I can call them on it. I want a second but it's unlikely as my first was after 3 rounds of IVF. But we really want to try.

What am I going to say? I don't want to ruin my chances but my face is one of hose which just can't lie!!!!!!! Help!!!!! I need and want this job!!

OP posts:

SandyDenny · 31/10/2017 14:53

Lurkinghusband - it sounds like you work for a large organisation with a proper HR department, that's not the reality of all interviews, in fact I'd go so far as to say that imo the majority aren't like that.

Anatidae · 31/10/2017 14:58

If I was asked an illegal question I’d have zero problem in smiling and giving them a wide eyed, innocent blazing lie in return.

It’s not like they can turn round and say ‘buuuut you tooooolllld us you wouldn’t get knocked up??’ Six months down the line is it?

LurkingHusband · 31/10/2017 14:58

Worked for a large company But I carried that into my next role in a company of 10 .....

diddl · 31/10/2017 15:00

Does asking about it in the "chatty part" make it OK then??

Well, idk, from their pov (not knowing your circs)-would she be more likely to have a third or you a second?

I'd like to think tha tI could laugh & breezily say " I don't think that you meant to ask that, did you?"

GeekyWombat · 31/10/2017 15:28

I've had this asked to me in every job interview I've gone to since I was 20. Maybe it's my industry but it's always been a thing. The first two times it happened I didn't even clock it was anything other than polite small talk!

AtlanticWaves · 31/10/2017 15:43

I got asked if I had children once and was really pissed off.

The interviewer could tell and hastily told me that it was because their company is brilliant for families etc. etc. but I did get really quite cold with him.

After talking to a friend she actually recommended I put the DC I have on my CV in the personal info bit so that employers which are crap with childcare responsabilities don't waste my time.

I thought about it a lot and eventually decided to give it a try.

I then got a job in a company which has a great home life / work life balance (they even give you a free days leave for the first day back at school in September!). And didn't once ask about if I have children

LurkingHusband · 31/10/2017 15:45

I wonder what the etiquette - and law - is around recording job interviews ?

oldlaundbooth · 31/10/2017 15:53

Feel your pain, OP.

Had several job interviews recently and questions asked include 'what does your husband do for a living' and 'do you have kids'

You can't make it up.

Original poster

Annie105 · 02/11/2017 22:36

Hi all just by way of update for anyone curious! So the main person interviewing called me tonight saying they really like me and they would like to invite me back for another interview to discuss a different role. Said that they felt the other candidate was more suited (explained why and TBH sounded fair enough) but that my past experience would be really suited towards a specific role they haven't quite developed yet but have given a job spec to. I am amazed! Probably explains the sort of weird vibe I got that day (toilet aside 😂!)

Only issue is I've not said I would like flexibility and I know this role would mean being in an office 5 days a week 8.30-6. Whereas the other was a bit more field based therefore a bit more flexible.

We shall see...!

OP posts:

Original poster

Annie105 · 02/11/2017 22:41

Oops posted rather than previewed.. and also to add I feel the baby question will definitely come up in the next interview so I am now fully prepared for it thanks to your advice ladies! And funny old I did actually have a what does your husband do question in another one and I never actually thought about that until now as was in a chatty part. I don't think I even had my wedding or engagement ring on either as I usually leave it off day to day (I once lost them washing my hands in a cafe on lunch break got them
back but now paranoid!)

OP posts:

fia101 · 14/11/2017 04:43

Good luck!

Cantseethewoods · 14/11/2017 05:22

'what does your husband do for a living'

You should have said, "oh, he's a professional muff diver" just to see their faces.

MyOtherProfile · 14/11/2017 05:29

Leilaniii · 14/11/2017 05:44

Wishing you all the best of luck .

QuitMoaning · 14/11/2017 06:35

What happened at second interview?

HipToBeSquare · 14/11/2017 06:47

Good luck OP

mehimthem · 14/11/2017 06:48

I had a job interview ages ago & was told "at least youre too old to leave & have more kids" I was gobsmacked , thought of all the HR stuff mentioned above (had been studying it too so knew relevant employment law) but then thought do I want the job or to be "right" No offence to PP above but I was early 40's, almost graduated from Uni & desperately worried I wouldnt get a job in the smaller provincial town I was moving back to. I did end up with the job but that made me really wonder how many women - esp younger than me - have to deal with comments like that from older, often very judgemental men

GColdtimer · 14/11/2017 07:02

How did it go @Annie105 ?

If they haven’t developed it yet there could be room for some flexibility.

Original poster

Annie105 · 14/11/2017 09:01

Professional muff diver 😂😂

So actually yes it went really well and they have offered me a role! 4 days a week with 5th day from home. Still pretty long office hours but they have said if I have morning meetings say around 10am I can go straight to them rather than office then meetings just to help on odd mornings with rush hour commutes. ALSO more importantly and the main reason of this thread yes they did ask me in the "chatty" part which we actually got to in these interviews if I had family. I said yes I do, do any of you? So I turned it on them! Two of them including my manger said yes we have small children then they started lamenting about juggling childcare and all the usual. I just said yes it's hard thankfully my childcare is pretty great and been very reliable. Thankfully they didn't ask about me having anymore as I don't think I would have kept a poker face at that part. They didn't ask either what my husband did. It's a good job the professional muff diver comment was made after the interview otherwise I'd been stifling the giggles thinking will I be asked!!!!
So all is well that ends well. I'll be working alongside the other candidate from the original job interview so will be interesting to see what she is like as a colleague!

Thanks for all the input ladies. Here is to being a working mother.... eeekkkkk!!!!!

OP posts:

GColdtimer · 14/11/2017 11:12

Oh well done. And good for you for turning it around on them. After all, it was a "chat".

Good luck with the job!

badg3r · 14/11/2017 11:31

Yay! Congratulations! Love your response if turning it back on them, I am going to remember that myself for the future!

chantilly70 · 14/11/2017 11:42

Well done! Wonder if they are mumsnetters?

NoSquirrels · 14/11/2017 12:03

Oh well done you- sounds brilliant!

WowserBowser · 14/11/2017 12:10

That's brilliant news! Well done

Original poster

Annie105 · 14/11/2017 12:11

Thanks all cuppasarah suggested the response and it was that one which I went with my gut instinct .... hmm maybe she is my new boss lol!!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4