Employer has refused informal request for flexible working

[Wharm14]

I've returned to work full time (reluctantly due to finances) after maternity leave and have been juggling childcare by working four days a week and taking one day a week holiday. My husband is currently not working after finishing studying and so far hasn't been able to get a job, he looks after our 16 month old DS one day a week and DS is in nursery the other three, because my husband was at college two days a week and needed to study on the other day. We need to give four weeks notice to drop nursery days and we are desperately hoping DH has a job to then.
My lovely boss approved holiday one day a week until the end of our holiday year in July but he has sadly got a new job and I had to apply for flexible working with my new boss, who is also new to the company so has no context of what has happened previously.
I sent an exploratory email to my new boss requesting a discussion about flexible working, outlining my request to do compressed hours, 4 days in 5, using my four hour daily commute to make up the other day. He met me today and told me he's spoken to HR and been advised I can't do this due to H&S and data protection reasons. I accepted this in the meeting but went away and found out that there are very clearly only 8 reasons hey can refuse a request and these two aren't on the list!
Does anyone have any advice how I tackle this without ticking off my new boss?
I need to work full time for the money but if DS has to do four days in nursery that will kill us financially. DH's response earlier was that he would look after DS and get a part time job but I'm hoping the other mummies on here understand why that pisses me off too and that DH needs to step up..... but thats probably a whole other thread!

It can't be a surprise that your didn't agree to working on the train being counted in your hours.
Can someone in the know explain the differerence / implications between an informal and a formal flexible working request please?

You can't carry out a days work on the train commute. To you it seems logical but as an employer I would argue that I would be paying you to travel which would open up the option to pay all my other employees travel whilst claiming they are working which would be detrimental to my business as no one would be on site! I think you need to rethink your request

I think there must be a reason why OP doesn't want her DH to work part time. It is s just that she has chosen not to say. Which is her right of course.

You can't expect your commute to be factored into your working hours. There are loads of problems with that - no wifi or power socket, no seat, confidentiality, noise etc. Plus the fact you're being paid for your travel time.
You could ask to work from home one day a week and use the four hours you'd have spent commuting making up some hours from another day.

The op is clear about why she doesnt want her dh to be sahp

and I didn't have a child to then dump him in childcare 5 days a week or have his dad stay home and look after him.

She had a child to stay at home and look after. But thats not a right of only one parent.

Sorry, but as a manager it's not something I'd be okay with - for all the reasons mentioned as well as others. That you've seen a lot more secret stuff on others' laptops while commuting is precisely the problem (among others). I once saw an entire merger plan for two of my firm's clients on a flight from Munich to Hamburg; whatever I didn't get off the slides was shared with me

... I got off the helpful commentary of guy A explaining the slide deck to guy B.

Also, what everybody else has said re. it not being a female entitlement to SAHM once you have a baby. Putting it this way is also very unhelpful to people like myself, i.e. woman managers in industry who constantly have to defend ourselves against the suspicion that we're not worth investing in as we'll be out with the first child.

"Can someone in the know explain the differerence / implications between an informal and a formal flexible working request please?"

Formal request process

If an employee is entitled to request flexible working, and follows the requirements in the above procedure, it's a formal request and the employer's response must also follow the procedure including restrictions as to what reasons for refusal must be given.

If an employee just verbally or in an email asks their employer for a change without stating that they are making a formal request and following the requirements in the procedure, then it's an informal request and the employer can respond however they like.

An employee can't fail to follow the formal procedure and then moan when their employer doesn't follow it.

Thanks flowery. I'm struggling with my own formal request with employers saying it doesn't count as a formal request. I will start my own thread though.

I think OP is getting a hard time about wanting to be a SAHP instead of her DH. Possibly she has supported her DH while he was studying with the expectation that he will then take his turn being the breadwinner while she is the SAHP.

That's how it worked for DH and I. I worked FT while DH was a SAHP and then did an MBA. He wanted a career and I wanted to be a SAHM so when he graduated he got a job and a bit later I resigned.

Regarding counting commute time towards a working day however - no way. For all the reasons PPs have said.

The commute work idea is a definite no! You have a partner who is not working, so use this opportunity to your maximum advantage. I would postpone your flexible work request until your partner has secured a permanent job. I think you need to think about the long-term picture

Sorry to disappoint but I think you are just relying on "labelling" here. Those reasons would fall within the statutory reasons very easily it's just that to date your employer has given a more specific explanation rather than giving a generic one line reply.

I don't think not wanting to pay you to work on a train whilst you commute even in these times of agile working is unreasonable. You certainly wouldn't in my view get an employment tribunal to agree with you if you challenged this. I think data protection is a strong reason for refusal if you are doing any work where someone has an expectation of any kind of confidentiality or privacy.