Grievance raised against me

[Piggywaspushed]

I posted this yesterday in staffroom but I might get more traffic here possibly. (Sorry, I have made it longer so as to avoid dripfeeding but I don't want to out myself at the same time. I have NCd)

I don't want to go into too much detail here but does anyone have any experience of/ advice on having a grievance procedure raised against them?

Am in bits and most of online advice is for the aggrieved party and the info the head gave m yesterday is aimed at the aggrieved party, too. My local union guy is an old fashioned socialist type who, last time I met him, launched into a discussion about education and politics and wasn't useful.

Not been told what I have allegedly done just who has raised a grievance.

I don't need a character assassination here but just an outline of what valid grievances someone could have against another person : the colleague who has raised her grievance is not in any way my junior. We are co workers. She is not in two days a week and we only ever really communicate via emails so I am puzzled.

I also want to know , if her complaint is proven, what her endgame(s) could be?

I am being very careful not to now go around fact finding with my department colleagues (I have only told one and she is a close friend) but, for example, she spends a lot of time in our HoD's office with door closed (it's an interesting leadership style my HoD has!)if she has raised problems there, my HoD has never discussed these with me so this is a bolt from the blue. I know someone who worked with her in a previous school - a bit of digging reveals she has done this before : but , obviously, I can't mention this as an excuse! I think she knows I have a bit of a reputation for being a bit of a rebel and this makes me a soft target. I certainly inadvertently upset my line manager last week who then (apparently) cried and this aggrieved colleague rushed to soothe her. No doubt they then had a good bitch about me. But the line manager herself discussed matters with me later,and certainly hasn't raised a grievance herself. It just isn't what people do in my school.

It is clear she does not like me - but I can't see that as a viable reason to raise a grievance!

Lastly, assuming she has put this grievance in writing, should I request to see it? What are my rights there?

She has been frustrating me ever since she came to the school (she is a kind of automaton and keeps planning my lessons for me and organising me and I have found it hard to keep up.) - but I have never raised any of these issues as they seemed petty and I thought we were both just rubbing along. She seems to find me borderline incompetent : but that isn't a grievance, is it?

While a chat is often better then an email, in some situations emails can be a v useful record of exactly what was said, and act as proof that something happened. I would recommend emailing to ask for information on what the grievance is about for this reason.

• even if they answer verbally, it creates a record that you asked (if they fail to give you the info, it would be unfair, and once you ask, no one can pretend they didnt realise you didn't have the info...). It may also make them think about following a fair process in how they deal with this. Hopefully it will all turn out to be minor, and be resolved by a few conversations, but it will do no harm to take such steps to protect yourself.

If you really feel intimidated by this person, you should mention this too, at an appropriate time, as its very relevant to the issue of who did what, and how everyone feels.

As in, email a suitable manager, not the person who raised the grievance, obviously!

Will do. thanks for your help.

Sorry you are going through this. I would def keep all your communication as much as you can do you have a trail. Email. Texts As you have no proof of how she speaks to you with out this.
All the very best to you. If it carries on I would possibly think of looking for another job you don't deserve the intimidation.

Thanks t. I have been looking fro another job for years to no avail so it's not all that easy but it does mean I will submit the job application that I wasn't going to this week.

The school's a great school on the whole : it ahs its foibles, where doesn't? But this is nasty.

I have no texts , just a handful of emails of a generally very formal but polite and cheery nature. I have never written any about her.

OP, you don't come across on here as finding your colleague intimidating at all tbh. Quite the opposite. Hopefully as this is still at an informal stage it can be sorted out before going any further, but I do suspect that you are coming across far more aggressively than you realise.

It is an incredibly stressful thing to go through, and I would recommend speaking to the Union for support. I hope the meeting with the SLT goes well next week and you can counter or refute the issues raised.

Cotswold if you think that is the case I guess that is the relief of MN. I find it hard to see how I could come across as aggressive to someone who blanks me and doesn't speak to me and who, due to various logistical issues, as much as anything, I only ever communicate with via procedural emails. I tried to make small talk about washing up this week.

I have just showed DH my most recent email exchanges with her. He is not generally an overly supportive type, says it as it is and can be rather blunt. His comments were ' why do you keep apologising to her?' and 'why did you say sorry?' That doesn't sound really like someone aggressive to me - in fact it reads as if I was grovelling. So, I guess I'll be using that as evidence. I can't see what evidence she could have against me for that. I think her grip will be different tbh.

My stress about this may be coming out as feeling aggressive towards her - and of course I am annoyed with her as it seems so underhand!

I have worked with her since January.

grip = gripe! Freudian slip!

I really know what you mean. I had the same situation sort of. My new manager Made life very difficult for me. Piling more work on targeting big time. I didn't do nothing about it. Could have taken it further but didn't. Have you spoke to HR? Sorry if you have I can't remember from the thread. It very much sounds like she is being unfair. Have you signed off with stress? Again sorry if I've missed you saying about this x

I left last Christmas and was the best thing I done as being with her in the same room and how horrible she was just wasn't worth staying. On my contracts I've done I have had better rate of money and the stress of it all just left me. Made me very stressed. I like to think karma will find her - I'm a big believer what goes around comes around.

t - we don't have HR. Some schools do , I think, but not us.

I don't think I have got to your level of stress (yet!) with this particular situation but, having read some documentation, I still can't figure out what her endgame is.

If she just wants me to say sorry, I could do that without all of this.

That's good. My job was great until she took over and doubled my work and was so power crazy the way she spoke to you well down to you.

Have they said what the grievance is?

Nope. Not at all.

I've emailed my head to ask for information in writing prior to any meeting which is very assertive for me!

Paranoia and poor self esteem are the biggest drivers of grievances in the workplace. IMHO

I'm glad you qualified your statement as being your opinion, mehfruit because It comes across as victim-blaming I'm afraid.

Grievances are often the only way an employee has any voice in the organisation, and even then, if management and HR stick together like glue, the grievance can become a stick to beat the employee with, which is not its original intent.

OP I will refrain from making unqualified judgements about why this grievance has come about, however I do agree with a PP who suggests you think about whether your "rebel" persona can be perceived as threatening or intimidating to people whose communication style is different. Peoples perceptions are invariably subjective, and the person may have felt overwhelmed for whatever reason.

Maybe in the fullness of time, you could do some development training if only to develop alternative perspectives in the safe setting of a training room, away from the vortex of day to day activity.

It is horrible having to deal with this stuff, but often in hindsight, it can be a learning experience, even if a bloody painful one.

She sounds like a baby. Who goes round submitting grievances without trying to solve a problem directly first??

Yes, I concede all this daisy but I absolutely am not management myself so have no role of (self) importance over this woman who is, if we are open, the SLT type in this scenario.

Us not having HR on site is probably not helpful. No one to talk to and it all feels threatening .
If someone offers me training, I'll take it with glee, since I was just told I had taken up my quota -and I would genuinely enjoy it!! If I believed I had genuinely done something wrong, I would hope that my HoD would have taken it up as a first step - but it does seem this woman has gone straight to the top. Schools have so many layers of line management that this does seem an extreme and unusual step. She hasn't had any time off at all, so any stress I am causing her hasn't led to attendance issues, thankfully.

I want to repeat I would feel awful if I had upset her. Before all of this, I would never have said she was a nasty person - just rather cold and formal towards me. And disapproving.

I agree that grievances are a very important thing - and wish someone had outlined them to me properly a couple of years back when I was being bullied (badly) myself by a line manager. That legacy still lives on in the way I am viewed by SLT and I think the complainant knows this.

glint I don't think I would always take an issue directly to a person who was upsetting me as I would find that hard. But I would go to a direct line manager to talk it over. I stupidly did not do this myself a few weeks ago when I knew this woman was trying to put something on me.

Piggywaspushed

I did once ask her if she has a good idea for a cover lesson(tried a bit of flattery) and she didn't respond.

I know that I have cut the quote down but I wonder of she feels that you are belittling her.

Did you phrase your question as "do you have any good ideas?" this could be taken several ways and it could be that you do this sort of thing without thinking how it will sound to others.

rereading my post, I think I still sound a bit aggressive. In RL I do not call her 'this woman' etc but obvs by her name!

boney it was my cover lesson, not hers and I was stumped. She 'asked' me to do a particular thing and I said I was going to be off so that would be tricky. We then had a short discussion about a DVD and then I asked her if she had any really good ideas for an effective cover lesson... can't honestly see how that could be construed as anything other than me making myself look a bit hopeless. She makes me feel like a trainee again.

To be honest, I don't think she has ever been given a run down of different people and characters in the department - so I think she has decided all by herself that piggy is incompetent and needs bringing down a peg. I do know my colleague told her I was a' brilliant' A level teacher and I am sure she didn't like that.

I have done Transactional Analysis and know I enter child ego state around her.

Piggywaspushed

Sorry I didn't make myself clear.

Is it possible that what you say could be picked apart (or taken by someone that wanted to) in a negative manner.

You mean
'I'm stuck for good ideas for this lesson, do you have any?)

she hears

'Do you have any good ideas?'

as in 'do you ever have any good ideas?'

Just a thought.

I am fairly sure that if I had been under her in her previous school she would have made life hard. I think our teaching styles and philosophies are so very different. This is all that I mean by rebel. If someone says' everyone must do it this way', I do have a tendency to say' or, 'how about this way?' (for which some hear : 'do I have to?') - and in a culture where some find that threatening that can lead to a bit of frustration on all sides . But she isn't my line manager in this workplace and nor am I hers so it's perhaps difficult for her to adapt to not being in charge, I guess?

boney - no I did get you! I don't think so because

a) I didn't mean that

and

b) you would have to be really paranoid to read that into the way I expressed it. I have had a fair degrees of paranoia myself over the years and that wouldn't have registered with me.

But, yes, maybe you have hit on something. If she dislikes me everything I do will grate, won't it?

Hoping this doesn't sound patronising, Piggy, you sound very self aware and willing to meet people half-way. So take that approach into the meeting and you should be fine. These things often have twists and turns, just take it one moment at a time, see what transpires.

Sometimes it's a storm in a tea cup, the grievance is a way to clear the air and everyone goes away having learned good lessons. Other times it goes belly-up and things develop in a direction never anticipated before hand.

I would watch your back. If the person has escalated it to several layers above your manager, there could be machinations going on behind the scenes. I would seek ACAS advice, and support from your Union. Also exercise your right to be accompanied to any meeting. If you aren't offered, raise it as a concern and ask to be accompanied by a colleague or Union Rep.

From now on, I would start making a Daily Diary log of all events dates times, and anything you can remember from the past, leading up to all this.