Setbacks after setbacks - will I ever be working again after DC1?

[uberconscious]

I've been in good professional jobs and have a solid track record, a robust up to date CV highlighting recent projects while on mat leave, got to final stage at interview and either job was put on hold or no feedback after reaching a point where I would expect an offer letter etc...

I'm limited because of childcare costs so can only apply for jobs that allow working from home / flexible hours as we cannot afford full time childcare fees even after my second income.

I've become deflated. This has been going on for over a year and it's turned into a pattern. I've looked at changing my thinking, attitude, (positive visualisation) I always got the job before and I don't understand what's going on. feeling low as a result and feeling defeated.

How long did it take to find a new job after first child?

P.S. I resigned from a very global role due to medical problems due to pregnancy.

Are companies secretly discriminating mums?

Those sorts of perks you might get if you'd work for a long time already with the company and had proven yourself.

If you cannot afford childcare then you can't work. I can't actually believe though that a seemingly intelligent person would ever think this would work though

And l say this as someone who wfh and has two small dc and childcare.

I don't wish to sound harsh but if you want to work you are going to have to suck it up.

You're struggling because you are only looking for jobs where you can work from home. I have no idea what sector you work in but they are non existent in some lines of work and your mindset is incredibly limiting.

You might find that if you are paying for childcare you temporarily - and by that I mean a few years - working to cover costs only. But you have to look at the picture in the longer term. If you've been working you have at least clung onto the career ladder.

And I'll say again: is the father in the picture? Because if so, you aren't paying for childcare, you both are.

Basically what you are asking for - to be paid for working whilst also taking care of your child, is why working from home is often so unfairly frowned on for parents to genuinely have care plans in place for their children (as described, an au pair, a nursery place etc). As an experienced professional surely you can see that this is not acceptable or a reasonable request. I'm afraid its attitudes like yours that spoil the opportunities for others who genuinely have childcare covered but still want the flexibility of working from home / avoiding the commute etc etc. Wow.

The responses you have received have got nothing to do with lack of compassion or understanding of your situation. People are just amazed that you think you can be paid to do a professional role while simultaneously doing another job - of looking after your child. If it was that easy, wouldn't we all be doing it?

I think employers have appeared to be accepting of your proposals either because they are so amazed that you think this can work that they don't know how to respond or they are afraid of being sued by you if they point out that you cannot work while looking after a child. However, they are never going to give you a job based on this plan. Your idea of your husband coming home to take the baby out at lunch time to the park is fanciful. Babies don't care about fitting into anyone's plans like that.

When you say you can't afford childcare, what does that actually mean? If, like hundreds of others on here, you are saying that childcare will effectively eat up all of your salary then that is sad reality for many working families. However, many of us chose to continue working for additional benefits like health care, pension etc, for career progression, not to lose touch with the world of work, adult company etc etc. There are a few years when it is really, really expensive but once your child goes to school then things become easier. I think you have to decide whether you are prepared to take the hit or not for this time.

The only way to achieve the working pattern you're asking for is to be self employed and work on an output basis. Something like copywriting or bookkeeping can be fit into evenings and weekends usually, though you would have to answer phonecalls from your clients.
Nobody will pay you a salary for the working patterns your asking for.

Agree with posters upthread who are saying that as you're getting shortlisted, they clearly like you on paper. So either you're so utterly awful at interviews that it's putting every single employer off, or it's the stuff you're introducing after being shortlisted, ie the working hours. I'm guessing the latter, since you were evidently good enough at interviews to be given senior positions in the past. It's very, very 'out there', what you're asking. I can see that in theory you could get a 40 hour week out of early mornings, lunch and evenings, but aside from maybe an hour or two you're going to be effectively unavailable during normal office hours. While there are a few jobs where that might be ok, tbh an employer is probably going to shit themself. It sounds utterly exhausting, for a start.

Are you quite sure you can't afford any childcare at all? Checked out vouchers, CMs rather than nurseries, maybe an au pair for some of the week, the usual cost saving things?

When your husband comes home why doesnt he do the child care and you work

Or he works days, you work night

Or he works week days, you work weekends

Between you can you both work and find a way to share the child care

If not you are going to have to pay for child care

I wanted to add

Interviewing people takes alot of time and effort and may take months to find the right candidate

The employer will be looking for the most suitable candidate who will fit their requirements

The job market is very competitive

I think employers would rather wait to find someone who fits the job 100%, than employ someone who fits the job for a smaller %

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Although you are offering to work flexible hours and at home
This may not suit the exact requirements of the job role

I think you are thinking what would suit you
Rather than what would suit an employer

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Alot of people would probably like to work from home.
I know people who commute long hours daily or stay away from home & return at the weekend to their homes