Can I have some postive working from home feedback please?

[Jennapuss]

Hello. I am thinking of asking to work from home for part of the week, maybe just one day, as I don't want to put DD in childcare all the time (she's only 6 months). My friend told me that at her work they can only work from home if their child is in childcare! So what's the point of that then? I'm pretty appalled by the attitude of some managers to flexible working. But what really gets me is the assumption that nothing would get done. It's not like all of them in the office are so amazingly productive - and the managers are the worst, wasting their time drinking coffee in meetings all day every day. There must be people out there, maybe who run their own businesses, who have managed to combine working with looking after the kids? Surely if anyone can do multi-tasking it's a mum!

I'm afraid I don;t think it's possible to combine working and childcare as you propose. That's not to say that your colleagues around the coffee machine are any more productive, but caring for children is full on and unpredictable. trying to combine it with work is extremely difficult. I also think it's possibly unfair on the kids. what happens when you have a deadline to meet and dc is grizzly and won't settle for an afternoon nap? on occassions when I've done unpaid over time from home it's been a complete nightmare. It can even be a nightmare when I work from home with a nanny in the house

Re deadlines - I would say that was about preparation, ie not leaving it until the last minute and then trying to do it from home! Women have worked and had children since time immemorial - why is 'proper work' so different from all the other work women do. Anyone who cares about her job and performance will do her best no matter where she is - why can't she be trusted? I'm just fed up of seeing colleagues lazing around the office and then hearing negative reactions to working from home (in possibly a less distracting environment with more mature company) for a small proportion of the time.

From my point of view as a worker I don't think I would like to work from home as I would feel that I was shortchanging DS and my employers, perhaps I am just not as fabulously good at multi tasking.

From a managers point of view I don't think I would be terrifically happy if my team male or female wanted to work from home with young children.

There would be some people that I know would probably do what is required and then some to make sure the work was completed and then there would be others who would take the piss like they always do. Yes I agree if these people are poorly managed in an office then they don't do much work but its much easier to monitor what they are doing when they are there. Plus I may be stretching a point here but a lot of office working is about getting people in other departments to work with you sometimes the coffee drinking and schmoozing is a means to an end (and sometimes its a waste of time)

Secondly it sets a precedent. If people can work from home and look after their child then why not their elderly parents or their new puppy. I'm not saying this is wrong it is just something that should be taken into consideration.

I am fervently in favour of flexible working and believe it makes happier and more productive employees. However an employer pays my wage so I believe they are entitled to ensure that I am focusing on my work 100% in the hours I am paid to do it.

The point of working from home is not to be with your children, I'm afraid - it is to do your job, based from home. I have worked from home since my older daughter was four months old (she's now nearly six) and I can assure you I would have got absolutely nothing done if my lovely children had been around me.

Your baby is only six months old at the moment. Believe me, they get a lot more demanding.

I couldn't interview someone on the phone with small children around. I couldn't deliver 1,000 words to a tight deadline if I didn't know I'd have a clear amount of time to do it in. I couldn't, also, give my children the attention they deserve if I were constantly longing to get to my deadline.

Agree totally with the others, I work from home a lot, and with a baby at home and no childcare I can get a few hours work done in a day, maybe 3-4 hours on a good day if the baby sleeps well. But it's not really much fun, you are spending your time trying to ignore your child, or hoping they sleep for longer. Or else you are feeling guilty about not getting much work done.

and with toddlers, it would be impossible except while they sleep.

so yes it is possible but you will get far less work done than with decent childcare, and/or you will be ignoring your child, probably dumping them in front of the TV for long stretches to get some work done.

It's all great if you can afford childcare 5 days a week isn't it? Or if you can afford to work part-time? I'm afraid I work because I have to, and I'm desperate for anything to give me more time with my kids. Since the flexible working thing only applies if it is for childcare reasons (DTI website) I'm rather confused by all your responses I have to say.

I do it sucessfully BUT I only work part time, I freelance and if I have a deadline my dp or dss will step in and look after dd if she needs it. I often end up working at night time when she is asleep - possible but certainly not ideal.
This has worked well for me up until now as I haven't taken on too much but tbh after Christmas I'll be looking for part time childcare as I have got too much on and it is unfair on dd who watches far far too much cbeebies when I work.

It is absolutely impossible to work from home with a toddler. When ds was your dd's age, it was more feasible because he was asleep a lot more but even so I couldn't have done it on my own - what if you need to take a phone call in the middle of a major nappy change? (Or worse, a screaming fit?) Now ds is 18 months, I can't even work from home with someone else here to look after him (dh) because he spends all his time banging on the door trying to get to see me. I feel horrible for ignoring him, and can't concentrate with all the noise - going into the office is the only solution.

Having said that, if you're prepared to work in the evenings, you can make some hours up there - would it be feasible to work an extra hour on the other four days and then work a short day on your day at home?

Yes, if you absolutely have to, you can do some while the child sleeps and then more in the evenings or when your DP/DH is home to look after the child.

but personally if I were an employer I wouldn't let someone work from home regularly without childcare and with a young child. Because it's not productive, it's far more distracting than the occasional dip into Mumsnet.

The flexible working thing works in that if you work from home, say, you might need a couple of hours a day less childcare due to time not spent commuting. Or you can fit your hours around school hours neatly (I can get a productive 6.5 hours done and still do morning and afternoon school runs without needing before and after school clubs, for instance)

Jennapuss - try not to be too offended, everyone is just giving you their true and honest experiences. I believe 'flexible' working in relation to chilcare is being able to leave work early to collect from school/nursery etc then maybe logging on later at home, or WFH the odd day becuase of sickness etc.. I think the expectation to have a set day at home each week with your child and work is not fair on both the child and your employer. Also speaking from experience the first 6 mnths is v different from what lies ahead. Hope this helps and we are all here to offer honest opinion and of course support.

Jennapuss I apologise for mentioning the examples of elderly relatives or pets, as you say your discussion is in relation to a flexible working request and they are therefore not relevant.

Would it be possible for you to request to condense your hours over 4 long working days ? It would be hard for them to turn down that request as you would be doing the same hours.

I often work from home. I often do it whilst the children are in the house. When the twins were born they had a full time nanny who just brought them to me to feed. I can't do the type of work I do with children in the room though. I can't even concentrate with the radio on. Now they're 8 it's easier but I still buy in childcare when I'm working from home as it's not fair on them to have me distracted from them. Now they're older sometimes they will watch a DVD for an hour if the nanny is off sick etc but it's frustrating. Depends on your work. I have stuffed leaflets in envelopes with children around and they can help but some work you can't do with a child around easily.

Er, erm, hmmmm

Well, I'm working at the moment - does that help?

I end up doing a lot of work in the evenings and weekends. Also when the older two are at school/nursery and ds3 is asleep. It's possible but it's exhausting and I'd think about very carefully.

It would be impossible to work with an awake toddler around. I managed it for a while when I only had ds1 and before he started moving. Once they are on the move, forget it.

haven't read all the posts so sorry if repeating but just to say that I've worked from home for 4 years and there is no way I could do it with DS in the house - unprofessional and, well, just plain impossible!

I've worked from home with no childcare since ds was a baby. BUT it has all been freelance work (ie my own to manage in my own time) and/or working for dh's business. So all very flexible in that it hasn't mattered what time of day I'm working, and nobody checking up on me. Like GDG I end up working into the evening/night alot and while dd (who is 18m now) naps (fortunately she is a sleepy child). As the work I'm doing for dh increases, I'm considering finding childcare for dd.

I don't think it's unreasonable for an employer to expect you to have childcare on the days you work from home - sorry. However, I also don't think it's unreasonable to think that you can fit more productive work into less hours iyswim so you may need less childcare.

I work from home and agree with the others, there is just no way you could get on with your job with a child in the house (at 6 months you might just be able to fit some in, but as soon as she starts crawling, that's it, finito.)

What you can have though, is home-based care: perhaps if you can find someone with an au-pair who is prepared to share on the days you work from home; or a mother's help? That way, you get someone looking after your child so that you can get on with work, but you can also see your child when you have a tea-break, lunch break etc. A caveat there though, you need to have a work area which your child can't invade (and when they're with their other carer, it's best if they're not aware that you're in the house!)

Sorry, but if one of my team with a six-month baby asked to work from home knowing that she wouldn't have childcare, then I'd assume that at the worst they were skivving off, and at best being hopelessly unrealistic.

What sort of work is it you do? If it's anything which requires concentration/ computer work or telephone calls it will be impossible. If it's something like stuffing envelopes then it MIGHT be possible, but your child won't be getting much attention anyway while you're doing it, will she?

Sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but this is not the solution to your problem. If you want to spend more time with your child then ask to work 4 days a week.

"hearing negative
reactions to working from home (in possibly a less distracting environment"

tbh I am totally that you consider being at home with a small child less distracting than being in an office. in two-three months your child will be crawling, and at that point you will not be able to let him out of your sight, because you can't reason with a child of that age to not touch x or y, so you will have to constantly watch him to make sure he doesn't go somewhere he shouldn't/touch something that could potentially harm him. Then in another two-three months he will be walking, and then you will be even more required than when he was crawling. and at about this point the amount of sleep he has will drop dramatically from maybe 3 hours a day to perhaps an hour/1.5 hours a day. and taking phone calls for instance with a child screaming in the background is completely unprofessional IMO.

I agree that flexible working is about fitting your day around your childcare or vice versa, but when you are working you are being paid to work, not to play with your toddler.

like wannabe says.

I work from home, and I can't do it without childcare.

jenna - Would it be possible to do a 4 and a half-day week? whilst your baby is still young - I think it could be possible to do 4 days in the office and then a further half day at home. at the moment, on a good day, you could maybe get your half day done whilst ds naps, leaving you his waking hours to give him attention and enjoy being with him without feeling guilty. But you'd need the flexibility to account for bad days and for his nap time getting shorter. If you could spread your half day - over the day in question, weekends and maybe even the weekend, then it could be do-able. But you really would need the flexibility in practice - not just an ok from your boss - you'd need to able genuinely to avoid the deadline thing (very lucky if you can). there is nothing worse than trying to get something urgent done with a grizzly child crawling over you. I think a half day would be ok, but a full-day, imo, would honestly be stressful. It's not just logistics it's emotionally stressful too - trying to divide yourself in two and not being sure which "hat" you're wearing at any given time. Maybe hat-wearing is something we should try to challenge, but I personally like to know where I am, who I am, what I'm doing. there's not enough of me to wear two hats at once.

Yes, the hat thing is terribly important. I very occasionally do a work phone call on a Friday when I'm off with DD2 and even that is stressful; the occasional 'darling, don't do that' or 'hang on sweetie I'll get it in a moment' does not, I can tell you, radiate poised professionalism.

Agree with everyone else. The point, for your employer, of your working at home is for you to work, not look after your child. If you want to spend the day with your child, ask to work four days a week.
I work from home as a freelance writer. I have childcare for all my working time - unless I work in the evening, but I don't use a nursery or childminder because I do like having my dd (nearly two) around. I employ an au-pair who works for another family to take her out to the park, music group, library and have tea-parties with her in her bedroom. She likes the au-pair a lot (as I hate the park!), and I see a fair bit of her during the day. However, I could NOT work and look after her. Almost nothing would get done and what did would be at the expense of my sanity. Whenever I have tried to get something done with the children around I have ended up stressed and snappy and wishing the children weren't there. That's not fair on the children. And if I was an employer, I wouldn't pay someone to 'work at home' if I knew their very small children were there with them.
I'm sorry, I think you either need to take the pay cut and ask for four days a week, or you hire someone to babysit your daughter at home while you work.

OK, some of you may know people who would "play" with their children on their boss's time, but I am absolutely not one of them. My plan is the following.

There are certain aspects of my job that are not time specific - data entry, going through information, reading reports and writing letters, etc. - they have deadlines but they don't have to be done in working hours. I do have to be available during working hours to deal with enquiries, but my boss has her answerphone on permanently when she's at her desk so it would be a bit rich to complain if I used one for a single day each week. Because I have to be available, and because of the volume of work, they will not agree to me working 4 days a week (and as I said I can't afford it). So I would spend 3 ish hours in the day checking and responding to messages and e-mails and doing what other work I could. I would do the other work in the evening and spread any lost hours over the other days in the office. I am not stupid - I know I can't do a 7.5 hour day at home with DD.

My job requires a degree and is highly specialised but in a discipline that is notoriously low paid. I have been doing the job for 7 years and am only just on £20k. We cannot afford childcare 5 days a week so DP, who lost his job whilst I was pregnant, will be looking after DD. But we can't live on just my salary - we have a huge mortgage on a tiny little shoebox of a house. We have to make arrangements so DP can work part-time as well without all his earnings going on childcare.

Besides the financial aspect, I didn't spend years trying to conceive a baby only to dump her in childcare - I'm sorry, but that's the way I see it.