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Original poster

Been offered a job but am 12 weeks pg. WWYD?

49 replies

Fuscus · 05/01/2016 17:46

Am hoping someone can advise... I've been offered a job which I'd love to do. Perfect hours. They've offered me first refusal. I need to let them know tomorrow. They don't know I'm pg... I don't think, legally, I have to say anything yet but I think it would be the right thing to do. Where do I stand?

OP posts:
ggirl · 05/01/2016 17:50

tell them and accept
they can't refuse you now can they or that will look obviously discrimination won't it?

firsttimekat · 05/01/2016 17:55

Accept it! Congratulations.

PinPon · 05/01/2016 17:55

In your position, I'd accept the job if you want it. There is no legal obligation to let your employer know at 12 weeks (look up much later date when it's necessary to tell). Wait until the job is yours and it's all signed and official before telling.

I've heard of others who have had job offers evaporate after disclosing a pregnancy.

Good luck!

flowery · 05/01/2016 17:57

Why do you think it would be the "right thing to do"? For what purpose do you think they need that information now, and what do you want/expect the, to do with it?

Original poster
Fuscus · 05/01/2016 18:03

I accepted a job with them last year but just couldn't manage it (distance) so they've unexpectedly come back to me with this which works much better. It just seems a bit crap to know the company (local business - if it were a big corporation I wouldn't say anything), to accept a job then say, 'Oh, by the way, I'm off in July...'

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuscus · 05/01/2016 18:04

I was just reading and all the info & legally I don't have to say anything til April. The job will start in February.

OP posts:
flowery · 05/01/2016 18:21

"It just seems a bit crap to know the company (local business - if it were a big corporation I wouldn't say anything), to accept a job then say, 'Oh, by the way, I'm off in July...'"

But how do you think telling them now will be any better than telling them, say, when you start, or after you've received a written offer, or just after signing your employment contract?

Original poster
Fuscus · 05/01/2016 19:08

Well, it makes no difference, I suppose. It just feels a bit uncomfortable. I don't know why. I don't expect anything from them, I know I won't be entitled to maternity pay from them.

OP posts:
flowery · 05/01/2016 19:37

"It just feels a bit uncomfortable. I don't know why."

I guess it's because you, along with many many women, are conditioned into feeling as though pregnancy is something that (in the context of employment) you need to feel guilty about, or apologise for.

If you feel as though a small employer should not be burdened with a pregnant new employee, that is a valid opinion (although I would disagree). If that is the case, simply don't accept the offer.

But telling them about the pregnancy now will serve no purpose at all, other than perhaps making you feel less guilty, and placing a burden on them of information they can do absolutely nothing with anyway. The only think they might actually do with that information is withdraw the offer, which would be discrimination and unlawful and would benefit nobody.

magpie17 · 05/01/2016 19:47

I turned a job down in your situation - on balance I didn't feel I could fully commit to taking on a challenging new role, slotting into a new team and learning a new job when I would be going off six months later. That said, I had a good job already which pays really good maternity pay and was planning a year off.

If you feel confident you can do the job, take it! It wasn't the right time for me personally but if it had been then I would have had no qualms about taking it. I told them I was pg though and got a mixed reaction (initially positive and then less so) which probably did influence my decision. I felt it was right to tell though and would do it again.

museumum · 05/01/2016 19:52

Well whether or not you take it depends on what your plans are after having the baby. If you want to sahp then it's a waste of everyone's time for you to get up to speed for seven months then disappear.
But if you see yourself having 9mo or so maternity leave then going back either ft or a number of hours that you think will be workable in the job and putting in a decent amount of years then just take the job now and tell them when you're in and settled but before the deadline.

Original poster
Fuscus · 05/01/2016 20:05

It's not a job where there is masses to learn & I've trained with them and done a bit of work with them before. I don't know if I want to be a SAHP.

I'd not be mentioning it to a current employer yet although will tell one of my clients for my other job as it may impact them more. But she's a friend and that's a different situation.

OP posts:
Bubble2bubble · 05/01/2016 20:05

This has happened to me as an employer. I offered a job to someone who waited for me to confirm in writing and then phoned to say she was pregnant. She started in January and went on maternity leave in March.

Maybe for a big corporation it's not a disaster but our business is run myself and DH, no HR department, and this was a managerial position for which we had no one to cover. We also desparately needed a manager and had created this new position. We had to start the recruitment process all over again and tbh it's been very, very tough.

To be completely honest I struggle with the working relationship because of an issue of trust. She clearly knew she was pregnant at the time of interview, and also it was going to be very difficult for us.

Not what anyone wants to hear I'm afraid.

Original poster
Fuscus · 05/01/2016 20:06

Oh Bubble, that's what I want to avoid. It's not a tiny company - maybe 90 employees over 8 branches or so. And it's not a niche role that will be hard to fill when I'm not there.

OP posts:
DancingDinosaur · 05/01/2016 20:08

I took a job when I was pg and didn't tell them until several months after. I needed the job and didn't want to run the risk of them withdrawing the offer.

Original poster
Fuscus · 05/01/2016 20:17

Were they ok with that?

OP posts:
Bubble2bubble · 05/01/2016 20:22

In that case fuscus I would worry less ( my situation is me and DH with 12 employees, in a very specific profession )

They cannot withdraw the offer because you are pregnant. That would be illegal and you could go straight to an industrial tribunal which you would win.

Personally, if I still wanted the job I would be honest about the situation and what my plans were after having the baby, but you are certainly not obliged to do this.

FanjoBean · 05/01/2016 20:23

Don't you have to have worked for a company for six months to be entitled to maternity pay?

beardsrock · 05/01/2016 20:26

Accept.

Put yourself first, not them.

Bubble2bubble · 05/01/2016 20:31

You only need to be working for 26 weeks to be eligible for maternity pay

flowery · 05/01/2016 20:40

"To be completely honest I struggle with the working relationship because of an issue of trust. She clearly knew she was pregnant at the time of interview, and also it was going to be very difficult for us."

I'm interested bubble, what do you think she ought to have done differently?

Bubble2bubble · 05/01/2016 20:58

I think she should have been honest flowery
We explained our situation very well at interview, she was aware of our motives for employing a manager.
Well aware that most will disagree with me and I am not trying to be controversial - just giving another perspective.

Original poster
Fuscus · 05/01/2016 22:57

I can't remember what the rules are but I won't have been with them long enough to qualify for their mat pay. I think I'll accept tomorrow then tell them when I've had a scan and told other people. No-one else knows and since I miscarried earlier in the year, I want to know that things are ok before I tell everyone.

OP posts:
DancingDinosaur · 06/01/2016 00:45

Were they ok with that?

They were a bit surprised, but theres nothing they could say really.

flowery · 06/01/2016 06:39

"I think she should have been honest flowery"

She was honest after receiving written confirmation. How would being honest a few days earlier have helped you? What difference would it have made?

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