"Personal appearance and image" now key competence for job

[Floppityflop]

I feel a bit sick about this, found something on photocopier at work (shouldn't happen, you can secure print). Now the key competencies seem to include about 20 things of which I'd say about five are really important and the rest just rubbish. But the one stressing me out the most is personal appearance and image. I'm not the thinnest person and although I dress well and wear deodorant (roll-on and spray) and perfume I am one of those people that no matter how hard I try I look a bit unkempt with hair going left, right and centre even in a bun, I smell a bit when under pressure, plus I hate wearing makeup except for meetings with clients. I am also worried a double standard will be applied for men and women, and my age will count against me (the office is young). Should I start upping my game or focus on the other 19 competencies or just the 5 I think are important?

If they are competencies the business will need to have robust definitions for how they judge they are met (or not). I would find out what these are before making assumptions about what you need to do to demonstrate them.

your attitude to your appearance is concerning - saying you 'can't be bothered'. I'm afraid if someone couldn't be bothered with their appearance, as a customer/client/employer/whatever I'd think they couldn't be bothered with their job either.

If you are having a bath at night, then going to bed, that's a hot sweaty bed that will lead to you being sweaty next day. Have a shower in the mornings instead. It only takes max 5 minutes. Spend a bit of time brushing your hair, applying lipstick, bit of tinted moisturiser. get up earlier if you have to.

Pencil in some time every month to get your eyebrows threaded. Only takes about 15 minutes, don't say you can't schedule that in once a month!

Keep deoderant in your bag and apply some as soon as you arrive at work.

You don't need to wear the latest fashions but it needs to be clean and fresh clothes and suitable to the environment (eg no jeans when others are wearing suits).

When you say that ability rather than appearance should be important, remember the perception of the employer is important and you are representing that employer.

I work in a recruitment related role btw.

[b] He sometimes smells bad and doesnt notice. [b]

ewwww. Why are you allowing your DH to smell around you? I question your self respect OP. I'd never let my DH away with that. He'd be ordered upstairs to the shower and nowhere near me whilst he smells of BO

Who the fuck is going to judge that and how???

I would look for another job

I'm curious as to how this competency will be quantified In order to judge pass or fail.

Has anyone actually questioned your appearance OP? Is the new policy really geared up around "no tattoos/piercings and business dress only in the office? " I remember HR at a previous job tying themselves in knots trying to get the wording right on that policy without falling into any form of discrimination.

I have frizzy hair, don't wear make up and could do with losing a stone. But I am reasonably well presented, I also have a tendency to mudiness, but then I do work on construction sites. I'm also very good at my job. If anyone every questioned my appearance, we'd be having a serious chat.

I work in this area and our clients feel that the personal appearance of their staff has become more and more important. You might think it's nonsense but it's not about what you think, if you care about your job and want to keep it what your employers thinks that matters.

Obv I don't know anything about your company or role so I'm just giving general advice here. PM me if you need more help (no charge for a fellow MNer )

You don't need to think about losing weight but looking polished is essential. You can keep your clothes ironed, shoes polished, nails neat and even and hair clean and tidy yourself. That shouldn't cost you an extra penny. Body odour absolutely has to be controlled. I'm sure you have already heard plenty about not wearing man made fibres against your skin etc etc.

There's also a bunch of other behavoural psychology behind it but in a nutshell -

Empathy. Look like your boss / desired clients. If you are good at your job looking similar to them just cements their positive feelings about you. If they are looking at streamlining their workforce this can be as useful as working longer hours etc etc. And by 'look like them' I don't mean male, blonde, muscly etc, I mean if they wear smart conservative clothes copy that.

Validity - look like you belong. If you look the part people automatically assume you are capable. Helpful if senior managers who don't know much about you are making decisions about your future.

Individuality - this bit is harder. You need to fit in but not so much that you just look like a worker drone and get forgotten about. You want to be one of the first people that are remembered when senior management are thinking about your team. People that look smart get remembered.

And a final point before I get flamed. This is just about work, try not to think of it as some sort of question about your 'style', 'attractiveness' or 'fashionability'. It's completely different.

Good luck OP.

I'd look for another job. I have a worker with hair that's all over the place and an individual attitude to clothes. She's not mainstream but not offensive. She's amazing at her job, however, and that's all she needs to be, and that is what we care about.

Employees of either gender are there to work, not to be trophies. Unless you work for Abercrombie and Fitch....

I work in a very mixed office. We have people who think they are in a fashion show; people who look like a Boden catalogue threw up on them; people who are a bit quirky and frizzy; people (most people) who are entirely functonal. As long as they're clean, relatively neat andmost importantdon't smell bad it's completely fine.

If you think you have an odour problem do what you can to fix that and if you think you hair is unacceppably messy explore new styles (oddly maybe try less hair washing; my mum looks a right fizzy mess if she washes hers more than once a week) Otherwise don't worry unless someone raises it as a issue.

YY to less hair washing for frizzy hair.

I'd say the main thing is being clean. There is no reason to smell.

Shower every morning and wear deodorant - if you get sweaty use baby wipes to clean up and apply more deodorant.

Wash clothes after each wear on a hot wash -40 or higher.

OP, I am assuming there aren't showers in your office. Is there a gym you can join that is near your office where you can shower and wash your hair in the morning after your morning commute? Can you cycle into to work which gives you more time to shower at the other end?

It only takes max 5 minutes. Spend a bit of time brushing your hair, applying lipstick, bit of tinted moisturiser. get up earlier if you have to.

No one should be forced to wear make up.

Pencil in some time every month to get your eyebrows threaded. Only takes about 15 minutes, don't say you can't schedule that in once a month!

Not everyone want eyebrows preened to within an inch of their lives!

I have frizzy hair and if I@m not going to straighten it after I wash it, I don't always shampoo it. It sounds dirty but if you wet it with hot water, thoroughly and just condition it, then when you've towel dried it a bit more, put in some more conditioner, then it will be a bit curlier and a bit less frizzy. I only shampoo about every second wash.

Gosh, being a middle-age woman is not an excuse for smelling. Get these wipes, they much more effective than baby wipes. Use them when you get to work then put on fresh deodorant. If that doesn't work, travel in gym-type clothes (they wash and dry very easily), and change into work clothes when you arrive.

I cycle commute and am often sweaty when I arrive. This combination works, I do NOT smell once I've cleaned up, applied deodorant and changed my clothes.

As so many others have said, are all the middle-aged men also working hard on their personal grooming?

As for the idea that hair needs to be straight and totally under control - how is that applied to people with naturally very frizzy/curly hair, most obviously people of Black or Mixed Race heritage? Would they be told that they must have their hair straightened or shaved off?

I agree with flingingmelon about the correlation between appearance and work advancement. I also work in a professional environment (City) dominated in the senior ranks by middle aged men - they don't all look too bad. The women in my office are in the majority very well presented as are the men.

Are you sure you're not reading too much into this competency OP?
Many companies have a policy to maintain basic hygiene/cleanliness and standards of dress. It isn't to make work like a beauty pageant but as a basic courtesy to other staff members, clients and customers.
*you don't need to wear make up if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

*I am mixed race with natural afro hair and like 314 wash my hair once or twice a week. leave in conditioners and serums help, afro hair moisturising products are richer and help make hair softer and more manageable and coconut oil is my go to product.
*There's been plenty of advice if you're concerned about body odour.

• As long as your clothes are suitable for your role, clean and in good repair that should be fine. Please don't take it to heart, it may not refer directly to you.

There is nothing wrong with curly hair. Or even (shock horror) frizzy hair.

I am sure it doesn't refer directly to me! I always wear a suit or tailored separates, but I am just one of those women who will never look quite put together and look a bit windswept. And I do bath in the morning not the evening before, but it is a bath not a shower, so maybe that doesn't help the smell. It's not like I am completely minging but I do occasionally catch a whiff if it's a rushy stressful day. FWIW I use Nivea roll on and also spray - supposedly 48hr!

Op if you're having a bath, washing your bits, wear deodorant and clean clothes everyday you'll be fine! Maybe get some wipes for when you've had a sweaty day. I find wiping around my neck and chest makes me feel an awful lot fresher.

You have my sympathy on the hair front though. My hair ends up looking a mess approximately an hour after doing it no matter what I do to it....

Maybe we should get wigs?

I think you are being too hard on yourself OP. I used to walk 4 miles to work and would be sweaty by the time I got there. I didn't smell but I did feel awful - baby wipes and another application of deodorant helped with that.
I also found that when I was taking baths the humidity would make my hair very frizzy - showers don't seem to have the same problem for some reason (maybe because they are quicker?)
Anyway, I bet this policy wasn't aimed at you but at somebody turning up in jeans, etc.
Only make changes if they are what you want.

Hi op,

I have what I affectionately call curry armpit. I used to get really down as I showered every day, used deodorant and perfume etc but by about mid day I could begin to smell it. Oddly it was only my left armpit.

Then I started using antibacterial soap and changed my deodorant to a crystal rock deodorant. No more curry armpit!