"Personal appearance and image" now key competence for job

[Floppityflop]

I feel a bit sick about this, found something on photocopier at work (shouldn't happen, you can secure print). Now the key competencies seem to include about 20 things of which I'd say about five are really important and the rest just rubbish. But the one stressing me out the most is personal appearance and image. I'm not the thinnest person and although I dress well and wear deodorant (roll-on and spray) and perfume I am one of those people that no matter how hard I try I look a bit unkempt with hair going left, right and centre even in a bun, I smell a bit when under pressure, plus I hate wearing makeup except for meetings with clients. I am also worried a double standard will be applied for men and women, and my age will count against me (the office is young). Should I start upping my game or focus on the other 19 competencies or just the 5 I think are important?

You should ask for specific guidelines regarding appearance, as possibly for the other 19 items.
Chances are that they mean no jeans, no flip flops, no underwear showing.

How was the policy worded? There's a big difference between expecting an employee to look smart and have good personal hygiene, compared to expecting a face full of make-up and perfect hair.

I'm a naturally messy person (hair kinks within a few hours of straightening it, awful at ironing etc) and for my last job it was dealing with clients face to face so appearance was important for presenting an image. I found the best way was to have a quick check over of myself a couple of times a day - wash pits and reapply deodorant if needed, brush hair and re-tie it back up, quick squirt of perfume. Oh, and intentionally wearing clothes that don't crease too badly!

I don't see why age should matter - often the people (more specifically women) who make more of an effort are the older ones I think. As a generalisation the younger women in my office wore more make up but didn't look as smart.

Maybe the bra is the problem. I run a ratio of one bra to two pants.

Could you change when you get to work if the journey is hard on your clothes/appearance?

I am a 'woman of a certain age' and I wouldn't describe myself as sweaty and unkempt - I am smart and professional at work. Please don't use age to excuse a scruffy appearance as it has nothing to do with it and feels a bit ageist to me - like middle aged women are incapable of looking groomed and professional.

Try showering every morning and wiping pits and reapplying anti-perspirant when you get to work.

Clean top every day. It could be your bra if it gets sweaty.

You are either being too hard on yourself or you need to try harder. No one wants to work with someone who is smelly. And dishevelled clothes and hair reflects badly on a company to outside clients. I wouldn't worry about make up.

What are you like out of work? A normal day or going out for the evening?

What kind of deodorant do you use?
If you're not already, try one of the 24hr stick ones like Sure. You have to wash it off, they're really good, or Mitchum ( but that irritates me)

I used to sweat a lot under the arms when I was younger and the doctor prescribed me a deodorant type roll on which I used every few days and it stopped me sweating completely.

I'd also change bra daily I think that will help.

My kids have frizzy hair and I use Dove hair oil every day but only wash twice a week. The hair oil has a very lovely smell which lingers as you don't wash it off.

I find that my polyester tops smell within a couple of hours of being worn unless they are washed at 40 degrees (I used Persil powder). Washing at 40 has made a big difference to me! (Just something to think about in case it's relevant).

Definitely prefer cotton and wool. Artificial fibres tend to get much more smelly.

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The red Tresemme shampoo has made a big difference to my frizzy hair. As has elvive extraordinary oil, but only put that from middle of hair down to ends....makes it much more manageable.

I also every now and then put that overnight super strength deodorant on, the one you have to wash off in the morning. Only need to use it maybe once a month and it helps.

Driclor.

Without seeing you it's hard to tell whether there is really a problem. I do suspect that someone in the office may have an issue if they're including this as part of the performance assessment. Can you take your work clothes and change into them at work, and wear workout clothes for the walk? Use a super strength deodorant and/or deodorant wipes? Soak your clothes in soda crystals or treat the armpits to get any sweat smells out that may be clinging? make sure your house is well aired so your clothes don't get a musty smell. If you do all those things I would say you can be confident you don't smell!

Yes, think it's likely that somebody in your office has a problem meeting the expected standard. A year ago we were ALL told not to wear casual clothes to work (hoodies, jeans etc. - I never do so I thought I knew who the memo was intended to reach ).

Concentrate on not smelling. Make sure your clothes are clean and that they fit and are appropriate. Don't worry about fashion.

I like to look well but if a man told me to wear make up, wow, I'd see red mist!

I make my own deodorant from coconut oil and bicarbonate soda and it's amazing. I once was travelling and didn't smell at all after nearly 24 hours of dragging myself through airports and trains. It's worth trying different options.

I often feel sweaty and unkempt, so I understand that feeling of helplessness but tweaking a few things in your routine or even your style (do you go for easily creases fabrics? do you need some clothes that breathe better? Lots of things layers rather than one thick jumper or something?) could make all the difference. Investing in decent hair products would be worth a try.

*thin

You shouldn't smell and there's some good advice on here to help with that aspect of things (if in fact you do smell). I would second a clean bra every day, by the way, if you think about where the top of your bra sits then its a likely candidate to make things less than fresh if you're otherwise clean and wearing clean clothes.

But the real issue is the document you've found. 20 competencies? That's at least 12 too many, I'd say. How many are new? How have they been arrived at? What's going to be the process for implementing them? How's your performance normally managed?

Don't be distracted by your hair if there are bigger things going on...

If 'of a certain age' means menopausal hot flushes, have you considered remedies to reduce them?

Also, if this is one of 20 competencies, make sure you're working just as hard at the other 19. Unfortunately, what you think of them isn't the key factor, so pay attention to all of them, not just the 5 you think are most relevant.

I'm far from being a strident feminist, but I do feel that bloody double-standards is alive-and-kicking in the work-place!!

Since when have men ever lost a wink of sleep over hair colour, eye-brows, nails etc?

I bristled when I read your words, floppity

*it's a professional job in which slightly overweight middle-aged / old men tend to dominate" - I bet they don't worry to the extent you are (sorry to point that out!)

Unfortunately the likelihood of your manager being honest with you and saying there are issues with your appearance are zilch I'm afraid - they'll give a hundred and one reasons why they can't promote you, or get you involved in more exciting projects etc, but none of them will be related to appearance.

So I would say, do the best with what you've got, don't sweat the small stuff (no pun intended!!), keep those skills up to date and KOKO in 2016

As an aside, I read in a recent Times article that being too attractive can hold a woman back [irony icon] - women who are reasonably well-presented, suitably dressed, coupled with great (differentiated) skills are most likely to get the best jobs, not someone with excessively stunning looks. It gives me hope, ha-ha!

Have you tried adding setting lotion to your hair? A friend with really thick curly hair adds some to the final rinse when she washes her hair and she says it stops it from being frizzy. It's super cheap from Superdrug. Worth a try.

I'd be done for if my work did this. I wear clean clothes (I launder obsessively as dm would only wash clothes if they walked themselves to the basket...), make up (foundation, blusher and eyeshadow but that's it), deodorant and perfume and shower at least once daily. My hair, however, is ridiculous. Despite a cut and professional colour every 10-12 weeks - all I can afford - and actually 'doing' it each morning within seconds of coming into contact with any moisture I look like a Brillo pad. No amount of hairspray, Frizzease or anything else works. If someone suggests to me that my hair affects my ability to do my job I'd like to hear more.

OP - you have no idea if this is aimed at you and I agree wholeheartedly with all those who wonder what exactly will apply to men

When I had to smarten up for city and central government jobs (long term temping for 2 years but at high level rest perm) I bought smart suits, shoes I could walk in (changed into at work or comfy loafer types) and nice shirts with smart sleeveless sweaters from Jigsaw etc.

I ensured that my hair was highlighted and cut regularly and kept makeup bag on me so I could do touch ups.

I basically ensured I had a work uniform sorted which didn't need much thought, updating etc....

Shower I find is far easier for cleanliness, bring deodorant or wipes to work if you feel you need them.

It's all very well to assume you don't have the problem but if you can up your game at least you know it's not you.

We have showers at work for cyclists and runners, so it could be an option.