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Original poster

Can my employer force me to go on a residential course?

66 replies

Eminybob · 27/07/2015 17:29

I'm due to back to work after maternity leave in September.

Due to the nature of my job I have to retrain as if I were a new starter. The course is 4 weeks long and full time. I'm going to be part time when I return so have been prepared to cover extra childcare for the duration of the course. Myself and my manager were expecting the course to be relatively local, within an easy enough commute, however the dates have been released and the local one isn't running on the dates I need, not sure when the next one is. I will have to go to London which is not commutable so I will have to be residential.

There is just no way I'm prepared to leave my 1 year old for 4 weeks, only seeing him at weekends.

My question is, can they make me go? I don't know what the alternative is though. The only thing would be to wait for the next local course, which could be months but I wouldn't be able to do my job until I've been on it.

Any suggestions welcome, or does anyone know what my rights are to be able to say no I'm not going?

OP posts:

Iggi999 · 28/07/2015 09:41

I know this is in Employment but I really don't think it would have a good effect on a small child to go from being at home full time with his mum to having her away for a block of five days and nights, x 4. It's a jump not in the same league as just going back to work. His needs will be taken care of by the father but there is no way to explain what is happening or if you're ever coming back as there would be with an older child.
If the courses are monthly there is no problem: the difficulty is your employers who can decide to bring you back for a month on other duties or just give you gardening leave!

IAmNotDarling · 28/07/2015 11:15

Sorry for not coming back to this sooner. I can see why you need to do the course sooner rather than later.

I would definitely ask to delay with alternative duties in the meantime or if possible ask if there is an alternative training provider you can use to get back up to speed with the products available on the market (rather than their preferred provider.

Elysianfields · 28/07/2015 11:27

Whereabouts are you OP? I used to commute daily to London from the midlands and at the ABSOLUTE best it was 2.5 hours door to door (car, train, tube, walk) and it was doable, but killing. I know people who commute occasionally from Manchester to London. So what I am leading up to is you may well be able to break the week and come home a night or two in the middle? I know you will probably have work to do but the train ride is a big chunk of time to yourself to crack on with it. And yes I know your lo will be asleep for most of the time you are there but you can have a snuggle and a sniff and YOU will feel better.

Your LO will be fine with his dad you know, it's you that will miss him!

UptheRhine · 28/07/2015 11:35

Can't you attend some/all via teleconference? Not hard to set up.

Skiptonlass · 28/07/2015 20:45

Can you attend the first couple of days in person, warn the organiser that you'll need all the course Materials on those few days... Then webex in for the rest of the course, and perhaps attend the last couple of days/any assessment in person?

If it's a desk based job, rather than hands on or clinical I see no reason why you need to be there in person

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2015 20:52

I'd be trying to get them to agree to you doing all or the majority of it remotely
Or id be settling your child into nursery bow so I could attend the earlier local one - I know you say it'd be difficult but there may be a way
I agree it's not reasonable for you to leave your child if uou don't want to for this length of time, no way would I be doing this. Mine are 8 and 5 and I'd be very very reluctant!

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2015 20:53

I might well do it but I'd exhaust all other options. As would dh. If my children were that young there would be no way

DustBunnyFarmer · 28/07/2015 21:38

They could easily argue that she doesn't have to. The OPs DH is at home.

And what if the OP was a single parent? Or had a partner who was physically disabled and unable to provide equivalent childcare? Or works night shifts/an on call rota? Or had a useless cocklodger/alcoholic/abusive partner who could not safely be left with the children in their sole care? Really, your employer can call on you for your contracted hours and whatever flexibility was agreed in your contract, but this is of a different order & the employer needs to step up. An employer (and MNers) cannot assume people have family nearby who will pick up the slack or impose on a partner's employment commitments.

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2015 21:48

I doubt any of those concerns would (or shiuld) cross the employers mind if op was male. We hold men to.lower standards

MaybeDoctor · 29/07/2015 09:20

You could bring your baby and stay with me if you like! I am just outside London with a fast train line into City, lovely spare room, highchair, garden, baby equipment....I could look after him 2 days per week and we could find a temporary nanny for the rest. I work in education and am DBS checked.

Original poster

Eminybob · 29/07/2015 10:50

Thank you to everyone for the advice and support.

When I speak to my manager my first suggestion is going to be to wait until the next local course and do alternative duties in the mean time.

If she refuses I will ask about doing the course remotely.

If she refuses that then I'll be speaking to the union and seeing what my options are. I'll update when it's sorted.

OP posts:

Queenbean · 29/07/2015 11:42

I don't have any more useful advice than what's already been offered but would add that it seems entirely reasonable not to want to leave your child for four weeks, only coming back at weekends

Let us know if you take up MaybeDoctor's offer!

MaybeDoctor · 29/07/2015 13:14

I am not a nutter btw. But having been through my own childcare woes I know what it is like and find myself with the time, space and capacity to maybe help another mum out....

Original poster

Eminybob · 29/07/2015 13:16

My manager has been in touch. Her solution is for me to come back to work earlier and do the course in August. In order to get the pre-course work done I'd need to basically start work next week.

As well as that not working due to child care I just don't want to. I am completely mentally unprepared, I have plans made during August, family visiting, a trip away etc.

I have called the union. They are speaking to HR and getting back to me.

My manager is also speaking to HR but she doesn't know I've called the union.

OP posts:

Original poster

Eminybob · 29/07/2015 13:17

Thanks maybedoctor for the offer but I'm hoping it won't come to that.

OP posts:

hullabaloo234 · 14/09/2015 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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