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Original poster

Can my employer force me to go on a residential course?

66 replies

Eminybob · 27/07/2015 17:29

I'm due to back to work after maternity leave in September.

Due to the nature of my job I have to retrain as if I were a new starter. The course is 4 weeks long and full time. I'm going to be part time when I return so have been prepared to cover extra childcare for the duration of the course. Myself and my manager were expecting the course to be relatively local, within an easy enough commute, however the dates have been released and the local one isn't running on the dates I need, not sure when the next one is. I will have to go to London which is not commutable so I will have to be residential.

There is just no way I'm prepared to leave my 1 year old for 4 weeks, only seeing him at weekends.

My question is, can they make me go? I don't know what the alternative is though. The only thing would be to wait for the next local course, which could be months but I wouldn't be able to do my job until I've been on it.

Any suggestions welcome, or does anyone know what my rights are to be able to say no I'm not going?

OP posts:
Original poster
Eminybob · 27/07/2015 20:59

Doubt I could afford full time London childcare and there's no one I could take with me. Plus wouldn't want to leave him full time in a setting I don't know.

Not sure they'll change the course just for little old me. It'll be mainly new starters on the course and generally speaking people don't come into the job as parents of a young family so are able to travel and stay over.

But anyway, I was thinking of asking if there is any way of doing the course remotely. So much of it will be old hat to me, don't know if there's any way of getting the material I do need sent to me. There is an assessment at the end but my manager might be able to do that with me. Might try that line of enquiry.

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Original poster
Eminybob · 27/07/2015 21:02

darling I'm a mortgage adviser - employed by a building society as opposed to independent.

custard a colleague in a slightly different role was out of action for about a year due to illness and she had to retrain also so although yeah, it's not that common, it's not just mums it effects. But I do plan on speaking to my Union.

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TheSpottedZebra · 27/07/2015 21:05

Have you told them that it will be an issue for them, see what alternatives they can come up with?

Eg a different course, an accredited person doing an abridged version with you as you've done it before, you attending remotely (tele conferencing in) etc etc.

TheSpottedZebra · 27/07/2015 21:06

Or you could be subject to more supervision until you'd done the course?

Original poster
Eminybob · 27/07/2015 21:08

Yeah my manager knows there'll be an issue. She emailed me today with the course details, said she wasn't sure what we would have to do but she'd be in contact later in the week.

I'm trying to think about my options now so when I speak to her I'll have some ideas to go in with.

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Original poster
Eminybob · 27/07/2015 21:09

That's an idea I'm going to put to her zebra

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Iggi999 · 27/07/2015 21:19

You've already shown willingness to be flexible by agreeing to do the course full-time when you are going back p-t. I don't think that much time away is acceptable from your baby's pov and your employer needs to rethink their training plans as this will affect so many people (unless they decide to only employ men Hmm )

Original poster
Eminybob · 27/07/2015 21:24

Thanks iggi I couldn't agree more.

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Andthenutlookedgood · 27/07/2015 21:45

I don't have any advice about your work problem, I just wanted to sympathise with you about not wanting to leave your one year old for four working weeks. I would feel just the same in your position.

WeAllHaveWings · 27/07/2015 22:34

I had to leave my ds just before he was 1 so I could go to Switzerland for two weeks (including travel out/back at weekend and no return during the middle weekend) for work and although I was worried sick about being so far away and how ds and dh would cope as they had never been alone for more than a couple hours. it honestly was fine and I totally underestimated dh.

I phoned dh every night and ds wasn't sobbing his heart out missing me (which was strangely disappointing). The time passed really quickly as I was busy day (working) and night (eating and drinking) while away, it was also a little break from a year of everything revolving around ds. ds and dh had an amazing time together which they would never have had any other way.

My rationale was if dh had to go away for work it wouldn't have been such a significant issue, why should it be any different for me. It was tough but in the end I was glad I did it especially for the positive time dh had with ds.

I guess I am just trying to say, if you have to do it, it might not be as bad as you think.

Viviennemary · 27/07/2015 22:42

I agree with consulting your Union rep if you are in one. It does seem unreasonable to ask somebody to leave their baby for four weeks. It's not your fault the course is so far away. I think it's up to them to solve this. It's a pity you can do the local one that's due to start soon. They must have known this might be a problem and informed you about it.

Viviennemary · 27/07/2015 22:43

'can't'

Original poster
Eminybob · 28/07/2015 07:52

wings I know DP would be fine with DS. And I'm sure DS would be fine. Just the thought of it makes me feel sick. If there really is no other way then I guess I'll have no choice. I can't afford to lose my job over it. But I'm going to do everything I can to avoid it.

Thanks vivienne my manager should have thought about what would happen if the course wasn't local, as there was always a chance that it wouldn't be, but we looked at the pattern of where they had been we both felt pretty confident it would work out.

She hasn't said yet what she wants me to do, so with a bit of luck she'll have come up with an alternative.

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DustBunnyFarmer · 28/07/2015 08:01

I can't help wondering whether your employer shouldn't be covering any additional childcare costs if you have to take your son with you, at least for the additional days you'll be working to accommodate the full-time course hours - and maybe all of it because its away from your home base. Similarly, if he stays home with your H, I think tour employer should be helping out with additional childcare cists for the days you are not there. Coukd be deemed a taxable benefit though.

FishWithABicycle · 28/07/2015 08:08

Could DH take parental leave and come and live with DS in London for 4 weeks? Your hotel room will probably be a double anyway. Or if your work would allow you to take the budget they would have spent on your hotel room you may be able to find something with access to cooking facilities a bit further out.

Inkymess · 28/07/2015 08:18

I did a lot of residentials when mine were little but it was shorter blocks. I also had colleagues who took baby with them and one who did a whole course on web cam. There are ways round these issues

Kampeki · 28/07/2015 08:20

I have worked FT since dd was a baby, but I absolutely don't blame you for not wanting to leave him for 4 weeks - there's no way I could have done that, and I don't think it's reasonable for your employer to expect it.

I think they should either find alternative duties for you until a local course is available or let you take unpaid leave until that time (if you can afford it). Or let you do the course remotely - could you sit in on sessions via Skype or videoconferencing etc?

When is it likely that another local session might be run? Weeks? Months? A year?

Original poster
Eminybob · 28/07/2015 08:24

There's no way of DP having the whole 4 weeks off work. He's already taking a day each week to cover the course as it is. The 2nd extra day is going to be an additional nursery day, which we have budgeted for, but now you come to mention it I should really recoup that as an expense from my employer. Might look into that. Anyway, DP couldn't get 2 days a week off to cover it so he'll never be able to get 5 to come with me.

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Original poster
Eminybob · 28/07/2015 08:39

The course dates have been released up until October. They run monthly, so there is a likelyhood that the next local one is in November.

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Kampeki · 28/07/2015 08:41

The 2nd extra day is going to be an additional nursery day, which we have budgeted for, but now you come to mention it I should really recoup that as an expense from my employer.

Will you not get paid for the additional days that you work? I don't see how they can reasonably refuse to pay you for attending the training, but if they do pay you, I can't see that they would be willing to find the additional childcare costs as well - unless there were additional costs associated with being residential, in which case you might have a claim.

Original poster
Eminybob · 28/07/2015 08:42

Yes I'll be paid for the extra days. Or get TOIL.

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Kampeki · 28/07/2015 08:43

OK, so the courses are quite frequent, that's helpful. If it's only a matter of a few weeks, personally I think your employer should suck it up and find alternative duties for you during that period. Can they find out ahead of time if the November course will definitely be local?

Bubblesinthesummer · 28/07/2015 08:49

I can't help wondering whether your employer shouldn't be covering any additional childcare costs if you have to take your son with you

They could easily argue that she doesn't have to. The OPs DH is at home.

RebootYourEngine · 28/07/2015 08:52

I would just suck it up and go. Its only for four weeks.

To me you seem to be making excuses. Do you want to go back to work? It doesnt seem like you do.

Original poster
Eminybob · 28/07/2015 09:11

No I don't want to go back to work! Not one little bit.

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