Guilt

[Jbr]

There is nothing wrong with mothers working, if it is bad for mothers to work, it is bad for dads to work!

Being a mother and a father are no different. I have just left another site called "Babyworld" because some members on that site think mothering and fathering are different. It is sexist drivel.

As for child care being "bad" in some way, some parents who don't work still use some forms of childcare. I was at playgroup when I was 2 until I started school and my mother didn't work! She thought it would help me to learn to play with other children.

Anne, I've come a bit late to this discussion, so you've probably had your appraisal by now. Hope it went OK. I faced a similar situation when I was pregnant with number two. For the year or so leading up to me conceiving, my kite was flying very high at work and I was getting lots of positive feedback from my boss. Just as I became pregnant, there were some redundances in our department and an imminent reshuffle loomed. I was one of the remaining staff, and I was urged, in no uncertain terms, to apply for a newly created post to head the department. At the time I had just found out I was pregnant, but it was too early to let my boss know this.

When I was 12 weeks pregnant, I broke the news. My boss was not at all happy - I think he felt I had let him down badly, as he had stuck his neck out for me. He asked if my pregnancy was planned - by implication I had deceived the company about my career intentions. Our company at the time sounds much like yours, Ann - management made up of men, with the odd single, childless woman. To have promoted me, a mother of one child, would have been seen as a revolutionary step. In fairness I was still asked to put in an application for promotion - along with several other people, but I felt that attitudes towards me changed overnight. After the interviews, we were told that the company had decided to withdraw the offer of the post indefinitely, so none of us got promoted.

I hate to say this, but my second pregnancy caused far more work-related problems for me and although I am happily jogging along in my present post, my professional reputation has never fully recovered.

having not visited for a while - what with christmas & stuff I forgotten how much i love reading all the conversations that go on. So thought before i delve into another topic I should close the one I started ages ago.

I'm now 14 weeks pregnant.
Had my first scan the neuchal translusancy one. Thats fine - so one hurdle over with. I thought it was brilliant when the doctor said I had the body of a 28 yr old (I'm pushing 37 really)

Still not told anyone at work.
Thankfully no morning sickness (sorry if you're a sufferer) & no bump yet.
Appraisal went well. And managed to go to three xmas parties & conceal the fact I wasn't drinking.
Havn't been offered a promotion , which I'm actually happy about as wouldn't want it under false pretenses. But am conscious I'm being observed as to how I cope without my old boss.
that too seems fine I'm taking the "business as usual approach" and have already shown how I can get the Bank out of difficulties.
So why wait to tell them?
Well our bonus letters havn't gone out yet. They're due around the end of the month & whilst I'm sure nothing really would happen I just can't help feeling to say nothing about No2 baby is best. it'll be 4 mths by then & more acceptable to say whats happening all round.
So thats it - thread closed for me on this so far - thanks for listening
Now I can join one off those more fiesty topics!!

So what is the trick to having the body of a 28-year old when you're pushing 37? Or are you naturally beautiful and fancied by your doctor?
Pleased that it's working out on the job front - hope that the bonus will let you retire early...

don't think SHE fancied me - unfortunately I think she was referring to my inards rather than the hapless flesh etc that surround them. but worth remembering in those moments when I feel a little low on self esteem.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Monday 10 March 2003

DEBATE LAUNCHED ON TEACHING AND FLEXIBLE WORKING

Education is a priority for the UK government - but it just can't get the staff. Despite recruitment campaigns, financial incentives and other initiatives, the teaching profession is struggling to attract new teachers and hold on to those it already has.

As the government prepares to introduce new laws for working parents, an online debate has been launched on the question 'WHAT ROLE CAN FLEXIBLE WORKING PLAY IN SOLVING THE TEACHING CRISIS?'. The debate is hosted by the online publication spiked (www.spiked-online.com) in association with the flexible working specialists Flexecutive, and sponsored by BT.

The debate has been initiated by two position papers.

• CAROL SAVAGE, managing director of Flexecutive, says:

'A balanced society does not come from workaholics driving mindlessly to achieve competitive advantage, but by having an acceptable balance between work and life. We need to encourage teachers, and those responsible for recruiting, training and retaining teachers, to think outside of the box.'

• TOBY MARSHALL, teacher in further education, says:

'Flexible working is likely to encourage the notion that teaching is something you can dip in to and out of, rather than a vocation that demands full-time commitment. Teachers should come to the profession because they are excited by its importance, not because of the ease with which they can get out of it.'

The papers will be followed by responses commissioned from those working in the field, including teachers and former teachers, headteachers, teaching unions, think tanks and parents; and will also be followed by responses from the public.

NOTES FOR EDITORS

CAROL SAVAGE and TOBY MARSHALL are available for comment or interview.

The spiked-debate on teaching and flexible working can be found online,
at:

www.spiked-online.com/WorkLife

For further details, contact:

Sandy Starr at spiked
Tel: +44 (0) 20 7269 9234
Fax: +44 (0) 20 7269 9235
Email: [email protected]