Gerbils, if you PM me, I can add you as a LinkedIn contact (which is in my real name.)
By the sounds of it, a great part of the problem is your employer. I would be campaigning for documentation of processes (I do that anyway, and as I find writing easy, have written a ton of our documentation, which is more for me to remember than anyone else; they just benefit as a side-effect.) I would also be campaigning for stream-lining of processes. It might come to nothing, but you can at least be sure you've done your best to make sure people are aware of these things, and if they did take them up, it could help improve efficiency.
I'd be going to HR to ask for some sort of project about educating all the staff about respect in the workplace, focussing on discrimination and unconscious bias (UB is very in vogue just now.) It's possible you'll get a load of guff back about how it's not needed, but that's their choice. Do they have a women's network or any employee groups? If it's an American company, which it sounds like, they might have some stuff like this in the USA, but not anywhere else - you could enquire about setting it up over here.
On a personal level, I'd be keeping track of everything nob developer said with a view to making a complaint if he goes too far (sounds like he already has.) I would also be trying to think about what I want next (as you are) and consider whether I want to go back to my old role, or make a sideways move where I'd get some good experience - go whichever way would best set me up for moving into a role I was much more interested in with a different company. Even if you can persuade them to streamline some processes and start documenting things, organisational change and culture tends to be slow, unless there are really major changes at the top.
Use them to your advantage, looking further ahead. It might mean you have to put up with the crap for a bit longer, but it will probably be more bearable when you know it's just the means to an end, rather than you're trapped there forever.