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Original poster

Anyone else job hunting and finding it soul destroying? Sign in here for support!

173 replies

toomanywheeliebins · 22/01/2014 15:27

I have been job hunting for four months and have two DC (1 years and 3 years). I'm quite senior in my sector and I decided not to return to my old job after ML 2 and seek a new and possibly more senior role. It was more complicated than that because my organisation was struggling a bit so there wasn't a really clear job to return to but still it was the right time to move on.

I have found it utterly exhausting and frankly soul destroying...and wondered if I am alone...and whether anyone whatever their circumstances (Sahm returning or redundant or career change) wanted to join in a support thread?

My confidence is knocked. I have had interviews and the feedback on the whole has been good but the competition is really fierce and I'm not feeling as sharp as I was (probably because the baby isn't sleeping well) and I don't know how to overcome that at interview. They look at me and think mid thirties ( may want children/ flexible working) before I get in the door.

I also feel that I am doing two jobs. Looking after a baby and a three year old ( she attends nursery some days) full time and job hunting/ applying for jobs etc/ preparing for interviews. I literally get the baby down for a nap and run down stairs to the PC to work. All house stuff has to be done when the baby is awake to maximise time I can put in applications. It's boring. I want adult stimulation and not to spend all day every day covered in yogurt.

DH is amazing and is very hands on. He has had to save his leave for any potential interviews and by the time we have got both kids in bed, there is no way I can work on job applications... We do both feel in limbo. We can't plan anything (holidays etc) or spend any money because we don't know how long I am going to be off for. We can afford it until August and then it gets very tight. This worries me a lot.

The last straw came yesterday. Was approached for a good job by an annoying head hunter . Had a chat on phone. Applied. Statement and CV etc took ages as it was very tailored. They didn't even long list me.....

What a waste of time. It just feels like work is slipping away and all I have achieved is gone and there nothing I can do to stop it.

Moan moan moan- anyone else there?

OP posts:
Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 27/02/2014 14:24

wips have you emailed all your contacts saying you are looking for work? Might help. You can do it I know

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 27/02/2014 15:28

I don't work in the sort of field where you do that (lots of legislation re fair employment) unfortunately.

I'm sort of doubly pissed off because where I was working extended my contract but for less money but I thought 'bird in the hand' and all that, and now I realise that I've basically undervalued what I do and they will think that my work is 'worth' what I'm being paid now. T

That probably doesn't make sense but it does in my head!!

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 27/02/2014 16:01

Mmmm. What about emailing key contacts to ask them to discuss an important issue in your field / career and then casually drop into conversation that your contract runs out. Sorry if this is unhelpful - trying to be creative.

I really understand that you feel let down re contract

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PowderMum · 27/02/2014 22:05

No news from this weeks sole interview again, so I assume I haven't got that job.
One interview set up for next week.

DopeyDora · 27/02/2014 22:18

Hi All,

Can I join in here? I'm not sure how much sympathy I deserve but I'm sure I find the job hunting process as sucky and depressing as anyone..... Thanks for starting the thread, Wheeliebins it's a great idea and I'm so glad you found a job Grin.

Powdermum I should hope the people who interviewed you have the courtesy to let you know one way or another after you took the time to go and see them! Perhaps they're still deliberating?

I was made redundant last summer and wasn't upset about it as I was stagnating unhappily in my job. The euphoria of escaping was such that money worries seemed a far off, tiny consideration and I decided to take a short break before starting to look for another job. Then some sad and unpleasant things happened including something (self inflicted from my years of alcoholic drinking) that came back after years to bite me on the bum and so I was grieving and my confidence was in pieces and I felt completely unable to brave the job hunt and put on that glossy, enthusiastic, unflappable demeanour recruitment consultants in my line of work (admin/secretarial) seem to love so much. I delayed looking for a new job..... and delayed. And delayed.

I still have a bit of money to live on but it is running out..... and as I'm now more scared of the consequences of running out of money than I am of being found out NOT to be glossy, unflappable, dynamic, enthusiastic etc, I have finally started looking in earnest. Predictably recruiters don't seem terribly impressed by my embarrassingly long and undistinguished CV.

As far as the gap is concerned, I have been doing some voluntary work, all of which is more useful, interesting and varied than most of what I did in my last job. It's all on my CV - transferable skills! - but I worry that it just raises more doubts about me.

I don't drink any more, I am a good girl really if not a very confident one, I am desperate more than happy to temp and I just need to get my foot in the door..... any ideas as to how to stand out and persuade someone to give me a chance?

Apologies for the essay!

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 27/02/2014 22:34

dopey just heading to bed but will post tomorrow. You sound v hard on yourself my love. Please don't be. Fake it until you make it ....

OP posts:
Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/02/2014 17:29

dopey. I think perhaps you need to concentrate on doing things that make you feel more glossy- exercise or looking after yourself. These things don't have to cost much. A walk in fresh air and a face mask can help. Then maybe cut the CV to career highlights and create a good story around the break. Something like 'Vol work was a good opportunity now ready to go back to work and utilise skills that I have honed '

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kazzawazzawoo · 28/02/2014 20:14

I know I don't belong here, it's not me looking for work, but my husband. But this evening I am despairing ... Dh had a second interview last week, they've waited ten days to let him know he hasn't got the job, a job that was badly paid, would cost a fortune in petrol and he could do in his sleep, but apparently his twenty years' experience aren't enough!!! HmmHmmHmmHmm

I am at my wits' end. We are living off £1000 a month, get only a little council tax help and can't even pay the bills, let alone food and petrol. He has no interviews lined up, loads of applications out there, but most agencies don't even acknowledge his applications.

I feel like it is me searching too, as I spend my days off sitting with him, searching for jobs and companies to apply to.

Sorry for ranting, no one replied before and I understand I don't fit in, but just needed to moan. By all means tell me to shove off and I'll get my message removed Hmm

DopeyDora · 28/02/2014 20:39

Dh had a second interview last week, they've waited ten days to let him know he hasn't got the job, a job that was badly paid, would cost a fortune in petrol and he could do in his sleep, but apparently his twenty years' experience aren't enough!!!

Kazzawazzawoo, that sounds utterly grim and I'm sorry you and your DH are having a hard time with the job search. Interesting they said 20 years experience aren't enough; I would be interested to know how much experience the successful candidate has. I suspect it's rather less than 20 years and they were trying not to sound age-ist in their reply to your DH..... but being a certain age myself and rather jaundiced where it comes to recruiters I may be way off beam.

It's very discouraging not getting any response at all from agencies. Most of the agencies I've approached have not acknowledged me - and I was actually happy for a moment earlier to receive a rejection email Hmm. It just made me feel I wasn't completely invisible out there - clearly not hot property but not invisible!

I'm not sure what I can say that would be helpful - has your DH tried interview coaching at all?

Wheeliebins thank you for your messages and support. I have been putting just that slant on my volunteer work in my cover letter and it is genuinely useful and transferable experience. The trouble is that some of the volunteer work I do is rather high profile (at least people tend to perceive it as such) and at the same time somewhat quirky - difficult to explain but I'm scared of outing myself. I can imagine it may come across as a slightly odd fit with the office jobs I'm applying for. Paid work in the field I volunteer in is very hard to find and though I've been looking, I can't count on it turning up. Even if I could get paid for it, the pay is peanuts and I would struggle to live on it and pay my debts. I think my CV could likely be approved and I've approached Giraffe CVs, a service which has positive feedback on another thread here.

I certainly need to get out and exercise more - I've piled on the weight since leaving my job! Even though it was a dull and somewhat sedentary job there is a certain amount of incremental exercise one gets when employed, even if that's just walking to the bus stop etc. etc.

kazzawazzawoo · 28/02/2014 20:59

Dopey, thank you for replying. We think the same: the winning candidate was probably younger. Frustrating. He can't do anything about that.

He has already had his cv looked at. We just can't afford any interview coaching. I am struggling to feed the family. In the past he has been fine in interviews, but he's losing his confidence now.

Sorry you are having the same problems with agencies etc. It's so frustrating. You know you could do the job, but they not only won't put your cv forward, they won't even acknowledge it!

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/02/2014 21:03

kazza of course you belong. Welcome. It must be very hard for you to support your husband and manage your worries. Is there anything slightly different that your DH could branch into? Freelance or something to get you on a more even keel.

Hugs

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kazzawazzawoo · 28/02/2014 21:17

Thanks. Dh is depressed and struggling to see other opportunities Hmm He has registered with a local agency, saying he'll do anything, but they haven't rung with anything. I've said he needs to apply for anything, and he says he will. The problem is he can't do anything else, except IT. He can't take the next step up, which is management, because he has no management experience. He can't afford to retrain. He has been doing contract work for the past ten years or so and since moving here 14 years ago he has been made redundant three times and had contract work in between.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/02/2014 21:25

Is he seeking treatment? That could help.

OP posts:
kazzawazzawoo · 28/02/2014 21:27

He doesn't want to at present. I think he just needs to find a job!

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/02/2014 21:29

Very very tough. Fingers crossed something comes up. Have you tried emailing all contacts etc saying you are looking. Sorry if not useful

OP posts:
kazzawazzawoo · 28/02/2014 21:42

Thanks. No apologies required, grateful for any suggestions. I have suggested he email all contacts just the other day. Also finding the addresses of all local large companies to send his cv to.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/02/2014 22:54

That's sounds great. He is lucky to have you

OP posts:
kazzawazzawoo · 01/03/2014 08:23

He has worked for years as main earner whilst I was SAHM working from home, he needs my support now.

Last night we were both really down Hmm Today it's upwards and onwards again ...

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 01/03/2014 10:14

Go Kazza and her DH.
Wips how are you?

OP posts:
twentyten · 01/03/2014 18:33

Hi Kaz. Is he on LinkedIn? It is always worth connecting in that way. Could he meet up with ex colleagues to find out more about what is going on? It's really tough .

kazzawazzawoo · 01/03/2014 20:00

He is on LinkedIn. Due to years of contract work, people seem to move on and he has lost touch with lots of them. Not sure how many he is in touch with but will suggest meeting up/contacting them.

DopeyDora · 03/03/2014 20:30

Had a phone call from an agency and nearly fell off my chair with excitement. We shall see.....

How is everyone else on the thread doing today?

WipsGlitter · 03/03/2014 21:38

I'm fine. I came second. Typical.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 04/03/2014 10:17

Grr wips that's rubbish. Next time

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 04/03/2014 13:33

I know. It's good in one way - I know I am doing good interviews but there's just something lacking, I think I just need to give even more detailed answers.

Just got to keep on looking!!

My current contract is supposed to be up at the end of the month, but they are supposed to give me a month/four weeks notice and I think they have forgotten (again!) so I might get a wee extension.