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Original poster

Anyone else job hunting and finding it soul destroying? Sign in here for support!

173 replies

toomanywheeliebins · 22/01/2014 15:27

I have been job hunting for four months and have two DC (1 years and 3 years). I'm quite senior in my sector and I decided not to return to my old job after ML 2 and seek a new and possibly more senior role. It was more complicated than that because my organisation was struggling a bit so there wasn't a really clear job to return to but still it was the right time to move on.

I have found it utterly exhausting and frankly soul destroying...and wondered if I am alone...and whether anyone whatever their circumstances (Sahm returning or redundant or career change) wanted to join in a support thread?

My confidence is knocked. I have had interviews and the feedback on the whole has been good but the competition is really fierce and I'm not feeling as sharp as I was (probably because the baby isn't sleeping well) and I don't know how to overcome that at interview. They look at me and think mid thirties ( may want children/ flexible working) before I get in the door.

I also feel that I am doing two jobs. Looking after a baby and a three year old ( she attends nursery some days) full time and job hunting/ applying for jobs etc/ preparing for interviews. I literally get the baby down for a nap and run down stairs to the PC to work. All house stuff has to be done when the baby is awake to maximise time I can put in applications. It's boring. I want adult stimulation and not to spend all day every day covered in yogurt.

DH is amazing and is very hands on. He has had to save his leave for any potential interviews and by the time we have got both kids in bed, there is no way I can work on job applications... We do both feel in limbo. We can't plan anything (holidays etc) or spend any money because we don't know how long I am going to be off for. We can afford it until August and then it gets very tight. This worries me a lot.

The last straw came yesterday. Was approached for a good job by an annoying head hunter . Had a chat on phone. Applied. Statement and CV etc took ages as it was very tailored. They didn't even long list me.....

What a waste of time. It just feels like work is slipping away and all I have achieved is gone and there nothing I can do to stop it.

Moan moan moan- anyone else there?

OP posts:
Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/01/2014 15:41

Just had a rejection for a job that I would be perfect for. I was assuming that I would be at least getting a first round interview as did someone else very senior who reviewed my applications. So that's two rejections without interview in a week. Up to now I was always getting interviews ...
What has changed.
Pretty down right now

OP posts:
MomentForLife · 28/01/2014 15:49

Thats so rubbish toomanywheeliebins
I'm the same, used to always at least get an interview. It's so deflating isn't it.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/01/2014 15:56

I met and exceeded the person spec... I'm utterly stunned. I am a great one in believing that everything happens for a reason but I have been rejected for two jobs I could do standing on my head....
Grrr

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 28/01/2014 15:58

I agree, when you've put loads of effort in not even getting an interview is very depressing. I ALWAYS follow it up now.

One time I found out they were not even really applying the criteria properly as someone I know was interviewed but didn't really meet the criteria, and one thing they wanted was membership of a professional body but I pointed out that not everyone could afford the membership (its not a registration body just a networking/training type one).

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/01/2014 16:06

Do you think I should send them a polite email then? What do you say without sounding bloody bitter?

I am wondering how many of these jobs are fixed???

OP posts:
MomentForLife · 28/01/2014 16:11

Hmm yes, I reckon a lot of jobs have already 'gone'.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/01/2014 16:22

Also making it harder the baby seems to have really shortened her nap. She is an utterly vile night time sleeper but could always be relied upon to sleep 2.5-3 hours in the day. Last couple of days she has done barely an hour an half and no corresponding improvement in night time sleep. So even less time to work...

OP posts:
sixlive · 28/01/2014 16:49

Also just got a rejection I was very qualified for without interview. Probably went internally but still gutting I too always got interviewed.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/01/2014 17:30

Sorry to hear that Six. It is absolutely gutting. These two together have really knocked me

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sixlive · 28/01/2014 19:06

Wheelie have a day off tomorrow and enjoy your children.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 28/01/2014 19:59

Ah bless. Interviewing tomorrow for my charity. But I'm not doing anything til the weekend

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DesperateHousewife21 · 29/01/2014 17:21

Tentatively dipping my toe in the jobs water.

Ive been a SAHM mum for the past 4ish years, my youngest is 14 months but Im getting itchy feet, Ive started applying for part time work, even a couple of days a week would be fab.

Ive only got GCSEs and one A level to my name, never been to uni I only want admin/ office type work nothing too strenuous Grin

I feel like Im up against fresh out of uni graduates who look so much better on paper than I do with my in and out of work history.

Anyway Im rambling, nice to meet you all!

Scarletohello · 30/01/2014 14:44

Hi all, I've just spent last 3 days writing an application form. haven't done one for over ten years! It's so time consuming and I find it quite hard to evidence what I have done. Today I am speaking to my ex manager to ask him to write a reference for me.Scared..! WE had quite a difficult relationship at times. The job market has changed so much since I last applied for a job, feel unemployable....

DesperateHousewife21 · 30/01/2014 16:12

I spent ages this morning re-writing my cover letter (which I havent included in a lot of the applications, oops!)

In most of the adverts it says send your cv to this email address, no mention of a cover letter but do all employers expect one? Even just for part time admin type work?

Scarletohello · 30/01/2014 17:21

Yes I think whatever job you have to apply for you have to send in a cover letter. Are you happy with what you have written? There is lots of help online re writing a letter, have you looked at that?

DesperateHousewife21 · 31/01/2014 09:48

Damn I prob wont get that hairdressers one then!

Yes Ive had a look at examples and tips, esp for people getting back into work after a few years out. That really helped, it said dont use cliches such as I work well in a team but instead use examples of how you've worked well in a team and how it can help in the job you're applying for.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 01/02/2014 17:20

I've had a few days off and feel much better. I really need to carry on giving me myself time and space to think so I have the energy to keep going.

Have booked myself some coaching and I'm also trying to cherish the time with the kids...

Good luck to all in the hunt

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Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 03/02/2014 20:04

Thought I would update..
I emailed some contacts at the weekend. Lord know why I didn't do this before. One of them - a Director in a large organisation I admire- came back immediately and said she would like me to apply for her mat cover. I have been interviewed today and am doing a second round on Thurs which is likely to be very competitive.
I really really like the organisation and while I didn't set out to do an interim post it might ease me back into work place and build my confidence. Keep your fingers crossed x

OP posts:
DesperateHousewife21 · 03/02/2014 20:39

Great news toomany fingers crossed for Thurs!

WipsGlitter · 04/02/2014 17:27

Just fit a rejection for one I went through via an agency. I hate using agencies - I don't think they can really know your strengths. I've got a test for another one on Thursday to try and get through to the interview stage. Unfortunately the tests don't usually play to my skills.

I honestly feel my "career" is grinding to a halt. I've been doing temp/fixed term contracts for three years now. Applied for loads of permanent jobs and not got them. I'm 43 and feel I should be in a permanent job. I'm in a constant state of limbo. Plus I've taken two pay cuts. Sad I'm involved in a project at work that may result in a longer contract but its a big if.

Oneglassandpuzzled · 04/02/2014 17:30

I am not out of work but I wanted to post here to tell you all not to give up hope. After 2.75 years of redundancy, my husband, 60, has got a great new job.

If he can, you can. :)

CajaDeLaMemoria · 04/02/2014 17:35

Good luck, Toomany.

I've been interviewing for a job for over a month now. Have met both senior teams for seperate interviews, and completed a presentation today. I was hoping that I'd get an answer, but nothing yet.

I tried not to get my hopes up, but after a month, it's difficult not to imagine myself doing the job!

I hope we all get some success soon.

mattybennett · 04/02/2014 19:42

I'd like to suggest that you have something that makes you stand out as productive and up to date. I work in the IT sector where capability is often linked now to productivity. If the office have just upgraded their software and the staff are able to show that they can do something amazing, are confident as well as competent then you cannot fail to impress.

Original poster
toomanywheeliebins · 04/02/2014 20:11

Sorry to hear that Wips. I also find agencies very poor and often feel they are just ticking boxes. I would not use them if I could..

Caja. I do sympathise. This has been quick. But will be three rounds including meet the team and a presentation

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MeMySonAndI · 04/02/2014 20:31

Am I still ok to join in? I have been told I may be made redundant. I have been looking at jobs for a year as I could see there was no future where I'm working at the moment.

It is soul destroying... I'm getting interviews but not much luck. I feel so bad that I'm convinced that if I applied to do my current job, would not get it. :-(