Sorry - enormous rant coming up - bear with me!
OMG whenever I answer all these questions it just gets more + more clear what needs to happen - I just am not being allowed to do it!
I have completely lost faith in myself and my ability to actually contribute anything at all to the world. What is the point?
It is just so complex as in the middle of all this DH was out of work for 18 months and we have lost the last 15 years financially, we have just sold our flat which we were renting out as our retirement [no we don't have pensions] in order to pay off some off the money we have been forced to borrow against our house.
We are now still badly in debt [to 5-figure sum] and yet right now, we can't pay our printer as our retail outlet refuses to get around to paying our invoice [they take payment in full in the shop and when they feel like it they pay us against our invoice for our cut] and we only have £13 in the bank right now. Guess who will have to pay the printer from our own money? I said when we placed an advert recently that this would be the last time I sanctioned any more money being paid by us personally. The advert has an ROI of a big fat zero. i have now pulled out of the xmas fairs I was booked to do as I will not pay for the stock required from our account with no guarantee of ever getting that money back.
Part of the problem is also that the retail shop is currently being run by the sister of the main business owner who is now terminally ill! She is hopeless at admin but I can't hassle her too much as she is trying to keep the shop afloat! Our printer himself does so little business he now works for a friend of his as a builder!
It is all so very wrong but I can't stop this roller-coaster. I have spent the last 2 days getting so hysterical that ES pretty much left the house rather than see me in such distress!
I am acting on advice from fellow mumsnetter re website changes but I now have several orders to do so I haven't time to update the website as well!
I'm 50 in 2 weeks and I never saw myself in this situation - with a man I am finding it harder and harder to love; children to whom I can't give enough attention [I missed parents evening last week - again!]; badly in debt; supporting a business that makes no money; admin'g a website data base and orders; trying to get out there and sell; no pension at all to look forward to; my friends have lost all respect for me as they don't get why I am still doing this and my parents refuse to speak to me about any of it [partly because they have been lending us ££ to pay for kids music lessons!] etc etc etc
Q: re shutting it down. I'm sorry if that sounds blunt. If you're not trading while insolvent you are sailing perilously close to it. You're not making money...You are the only one doing any work, you can't find a way forward for the business and you're bleeding money. Why are you keeping it going?
A: I have threatened to step down as a Director and got shouted down. I have sent a letter to our accountant who just says 'you need more outlets' - with no ££ how exactly do we stock any? I have threatened the other Directors with getting in contact with our ex-director who is still a shareholder, but she will probably sue us if we ask her to hand over her liability [we have all jointly + personally guaranteed our overdraft which is permanently maxed-out]. I can't close down without the other directors agreement. I called an extraordinary meeting a few months back and got told I was stupid, ignorant and had no business sense [not helped that DH thinks the same and he's a director too]
Q: re credit card machine..
A: I have said we should get rid, but was informed that as it would cost a £200 termination fee 'we might as well keep it'.
Q: you are effectively a sole trader...it doesn't sound as if there is really a way out as the more you sell, the more work YOU have to do, which puts a big fat ceiling on potential to expand & be in profit.
A: DHs idea to set up as a limited company - it was only meant to be me and a friend [who is now an ex-friend] as a 'cottage' business! He reckoned it was a great idea that the 2 of us came up with but it should be a limited company.
Q: ...call time on it & perhaps set yourself up on your own in future, ...
A: I would be quite happy to close down the limited company, keep the name and carry on on with it effectively parked on fb as it would cost me nothing
Q: doesn't sound like the others are any use even when they are pulling their weight - 50% cut for sale or return isn't a deal, it's a rip off - what on earth was your DH thinking
A: quite!