full-time working mums out there??

[ScandinavianMummy]

I am a Scandinavian woman (girl?) with an English soon-to-be husband and to gorgeous kids, and we are looking to relocate to the UK soon. We are both working fulltime, because we need the money, but also because we like our jobs and to work..

But I am worried about how this will work in the UK?
Do you have child care? What kind (and how old are the kids)? Is it expensive?
How do you plan your days in terms of bringing and collecting kids from child care etc? Where do you live btw?

Do you feel like this is the norm where you live, or do a lot of families have a stay-at-home, or part time working parent?

Childcare is expensive. I am considered fairly unusual round here for continuing to work full time (we have 1 Ds). There were others who went back full time after maternity leave, but have since gone part time.

For full time childcare for one child you can expect to pay around £800 a month. (We use a childminder and one day of nursery)

For us, one of us working part time doesn't offset the cost of part time childcare enough to be viable. And we both like our jobs! And would probably be fairly rubbish SAHPs!

Our childminder is ace and worth every penny! (Although a bit more government help would be welcome!)

£800 a month?? That's insane - wow! Knew it was expensive, but didnt realise it was that expensive..

I dont think it is an alternative to stay at home for any of us.. I have just gone back to work after maternity leave, and I just cant handle being home all day every day.. but where we live now we pay about £400 a month for full time nursery for both our kids!!

This makes things a bit more complicated..
we thought we should move back to the UK because we would have more money there, since we live in an expensive country and city at the moment.. :/

I paid £230 a week for my son to be in full time nursery.

Oh and that was in London.

A lot depends on where in the UK you'll be moving to.
London has the most expensive childcare (closer to £1000 than £800 for a full time place) but also the most working parents (partly due to the astronomical house prices and rents). It also has the longest commuting times, which means most parents have to secure their employer's agreement to work flexible hours to be able to drop off/pick up from nurseries/childminders. I know lots of mums who work part-time (though not dads) but most work 4 full days a week so not much less than full time.

Most nurseries are open 8am-6pm though some open 7.30am to 6.30pm. Most people opt for a nursery or childminder near their home (and on their route to work) as you probably don't want to be travelling with a tired, grumpy child on a packed tube at 6.30pm.

Even in London there are still plenty of SAHMs so if you did decide to give up work there are lots of playgroups etc. Whilst on maternity leave I found it very easy to meet up with other mums and for my dd to meet other children.

As the OP says though, despite the cost of childcare some people continue working for a bit of sanity!

Our nursery fees are more than our mortgage. And our mortgage isn't small!

OP, lots of employers offer childcare vouchers to help with the cost. Basically it's a tax saving scheme called 'salary sacrifice' where you get paid part of your salary in the form of a childcare voucher (each parent can claim up to £243 per month if their employer offers this), and then your income tax is calculated on your salary after the childcare voucher, so you pay less tax. Most nurseries accept payment by childcare voucher and although your take-home pay is a bit less, it does sort out a large chunk of the childcare fees straight away.

I work full time and have done since dd1 was 9 months (she's 17month now) I'm quite unusual in my area that I work full time but people don't seem to realise that with a mortgage and all the other bills I have no other option. Childcare costs £750 a month for 5 days a week (it's £42 a day at nursery but its discounted for full time) but still depressing to see half your wage gone strait away. Childcare vouchers save me and DH about £2k a year in tax but its not like you really notice the saving. The price includes nappies/wipes, breakfast, cooked lunch and afternoon snack

Monday tonfriday is quite frankly chaos and a day is a bit like this
7:00am get dd up, washed, dressed, give her her medication and usually at nursery around 8am. She has breakfast their. Pick her up at about 5/5:30pm at which point she's usually a whiny overtired mess cos she struggles to sleep properly in that environment. Try and keep her calm/entertained while I conjure up some tea for us and DH when he comes home at 6pm. As soon as we've had tea it's bath/milk/story and bed for about 7/7:30pm.

It's crap cos I we barely see dd mon-fri and when we do she's just crying/screaming with tiredness and the weekend she catches up. But like I said there is no other option

Oh and our £750. Month childcare is for a nursery I the north west and it was one of the cheapest we saw. But also conveniently the closest, nicest and had the best opening hours for us to work around with our work

Also, children aged 3-4 are eligible for up to 15 hours per week of nursery school childcare funded by the government. This only applies during school term times, so during e.g. July and August, presuming you'd still be at work, you'd have to pay the full cost for child care. But it still helps.

I work ft and went back when dd2 was 6 months. I'm fairly unusual around here as most families have one parent working at least part time. I'm a teacher thou so at least we don't need to use childcare in the school holidays.Dp has just reduced his hours too so he'll soon have one day a week at home with dd2.

Our cm costs £600 per month full time, but we only pay half during school holidays.

Sorry to add to the misery but the better nurseries will also have waiting lists for children, particularly if you only want certain days.

I work full time, because I'm the higher wage earner. It has been seen as odd by our extended family, who expected mum to go part time, my mum in particular who picked an enormous row with DH because she felt I was missing out on being at home with DS so helpful when I have to work to pay the mortgage

Friends have been fine though.

DH and I work full time an have done since our DC were little - now DS1 is 5 and in school, DS2 is 2.5 and in nursery. We live in London Zone 4 and pay to a childminder (to take DS1 to school), afterschool club (to collect DS1 from school), holiday club (8-6 during school holidays) and full-time nursery for DS2 - altogether about £1100 per month. It used to be about £1600 when both of them were full time in nursery!! It is much higher than my mortgage.

I am on a constant run though I feel lucky as I finish work at 4:30pm so can collect both DC without of stress before 6pm. It is a bit of struggle though when I have to travel for business, as DH does not finish work until 5:30pm, so he has to leave work early, rush to collect DS1 and pay late collection fees for DS2.

Overall it works quite well, however - and a BIG however - it all collapses when DC get ill. My DS2 happened to be the child who often gets ill. Lately he is often out of the nursery (it would be the same with childminder), we have had to take many days off to take of him and rely on a friend's help (who we pay to) on occasions to take care of him when he is ill. I have almost used up my annual leave into 4 months of the fiscal year and I cannot plan any holidays as my remaining leave is to be saved for when DC fall ill.

I can't wait until DS2 is in pre-school, we could get an au pair who would help with sick days (I hope).

It is essential to have a social circle who could help in emergencies like that.

Your main costs will be the mortgage and childcare. Depending on how many children and where you live, they could be neck-to-neck in terms of how much it takes out of your .

Also, you have the make the decision whether to school the children privately or take the state option. State schools are not as universally good in the UK as they are in Scandinavia (sorry, massive generalisation) and if you go down the private route, it will cost as much childcare and so won't save much even after the children are school-age, in fact increase because of afterschool activities and wrap around care.

Where do you intend to move to in the UK? That way, you can get more targeted advice.

your takehome pay

Thanks for all your advise :) It looks like we have to budget for huge costs with regards to child care :(

We aren't sure where in the UK we want to go - we are still at research stage.. but looking at SouthWest - Bournemouth area, or Brighton area og the Midlands (because of family..)

But a lot of things to consider.. where to get good jobs, where we can afford a decent house in a good neighbourhood, how close to family we want/need to be, how easy we can travel back here to visit family here, and the list goes on.. :)

maybe an au pair is the solution to some of these problems?

Anyone with an au pair?

This may be a massive generalisation but South West/South Coast will be pretty pricey. The midlands and north of the UK tend to be cheaper for cost of living.

How old are your children? Most families with both parents working seem to struggle more with childcare for schoolage kids as at least for preschool children fulltime childcare exists. most people i know juggle a mixture of childcare - family/nannies/nursery/afterschool clubs etc- au pairs aI think work a limited number of hours.
We have a nursery at work which really helps in terms of the hours (i don't have to leave work early)- and also offers some school age care. Other mums I know have gone compressed hours- which effectively seems to mean working the same number of hours but in fewer days- which can reduce the paid for childcare they need- but in general flexibility at work is key

Children start school earlier here, its more or less the same as Kindergarten but in a school though. School nursery is free (year the child turns 4) and seems to range between 3 hours a day to a full school day depending where you are.

There is also free 15hr pre school hours from term after child turns 3 which helps. But it is expesnsive. I was paying £1500 a month for 2 at nursery at one stage.

School is where it gets harder to manage, but cheaper at least. My DC school has wrap round care from 8am to 6pm and full time holiday clubs which is only open to that school. It is great, but NONE of the other schools locally offer anything like it. And as school entry is largely done on how far you live from the school, you may not have any real choice.

Housing isn't cheap in south of England and jobs are hard to come by atm as well. I wouldnt move to the UK without job offers right now.

I have used an aupair for 6 years now. It is an option if you have an extra room to house them. Having said that, I had to vary my childcare arrangement over the years to cater for changing circumstances.

I started with dd in ft nursery (I worked reduced hours to be able to do the pick up), then with ds in ft nursery and dd in ft school with aupair to do wrap around care. Now dd and ds are in ft school (finishes at 3-ish pm) with an aupair to do the schoolrun and light housework.

My aupair works 35 hours a week and costs about £400 per month (pocket money and food bills). Aupairs are a common solution for pre-school and schoolage children, but not for babies and toddlers because they are not qualified childcarers.

How old are your dcs?

One suggestion I'd make is if you have family who are willing and able to help with childcare definitely try to live near them. They'll be invaluable for school holidays, sickness days, unexpected travel/work crises etc (as well as the odd break for you and dp).

my children are nearly 3 and nearly 1 - so we would be looking at nursery for another couple of years for both of them!
(if I have understood it correctly DD1, will start school (reception..?) in august the year she turns 5?

I see your point about living close to family for help.. but the idea of the southwest is considerably more appealing than the midlands I must admit.. we are kind of hoping to get the grandparents to move closer to wherever we decide to go ;) And between just me and you, I dont want the in-laws too close either

Kids start Reception the Sept after their 4th birthday.

Brighton and south coast is lovely, although not cheap. And childcare may be considerably more. We are not in London but our nursery fees are £1300 pm each!

sept after DDs 4th birthday, will be a month before she turns 5 - she is born in Oct!

Maybe, to cut costs, it would be sensible to delay the move until DD starts reception! then we would only have one kid in nursery..