full-time working mums out there??

[ScandinavianMummy]

I am a Scandinavian woman (girl?) with an English soon-to-be husband and to gorgeous kids, and we are looking to relocate to the UK soon. We are both working fulltime, because we need the money, but also because we like our jobs and to work..

But I am worried about how this will work in the UK?
Do you have child care? What kind (and how old are the kids)? Is it expensive?
How do you plan your days in terms of bringing and collecting kids from child care etc? Where do you live btw?

Do you feel like this is the norm where you live, or do a lot of families have a stay-at-home, or part time working parent?

If you are going to delay until your first child starts reception, you should ideally research the schools first. If you are intending to use a state school, the applications have to be submitted (most likely) in the January of the year she starts reception. As most state schools rely on proximity to the school as one of their criteria, you would therefore have to give your address within the catchment area in January. In other words, you have to be in your property in UK by January (rented is fine).

If you miss this, I am not sure what your options are but the danger is that if it is a good school, it will be popular and the places will be filled up by applicants within catchment. Therefore, by the time you apply, you are basically waiting for a place at the school to free up by someone leaving.

I am not sure what the situation in the South Coast/South West is, but in London at least, the birth rate has gone up but schools places have not caught up. It is a bun fight! Do your research early - I know you are doing it now.

The good thing about delaying is that nursery costs come down significantly after the child turns 2 because the staff-child ratio increases.

Hi,
Childcare costs vary massively by where you live - I paid about £600 per month nursery fees in Liverpool (8.30 till 5.45), but have known people to pay 65 pound PER DAY in London. Larger employers will often have childcare voucher schemes which effectively mean childcare is tax-free resulting in a saving of about 30 percent (more if you are a higher rate taxpayer) up to the age of 12. This scheme is changing soon though, and instead you will get government vouchers of about £1300 a year I think - but only to age 5. You get 15 hours per week of free childcare from age 3.

Normally kids start school the September after their 4th birthday. Most state infants schools will have breakfast club for about £2 a day and after school club from about £10.

I work full time but across only 4 days, and I work from home. My partner is full time with an hour commute. So generally I can drop off my little boy at nursery at 8.30 /9am and collect him about 5pm, so I do get 4 hours per day with him. And he sleeps well there so is in a good mood when he gets back (it's 5 minutes away). I have to work a bit in the evening or when my husband gets back.

My mother in law looks after him for half a day and the 3 and a half days at nursery per week costs us £770 per month, although around £240 is paid before tax as we both get childcare vouchers.

I just wanted to say that it's not always a nightmare with childcare. It works really well for our family and he loves his days at nursery and with Grandma.

thanks Stubbed, good to hear it isnt always terrible!

we have managed to both work fulltime where we are now, and DD loves her nursery and I'm assuming she would love her nursery in UK as well - so that's not really a worry! DS we dont know, as he hasnt started yet.. so that would be anyone's guess!

But it is the culture with regards to parents working full time I'm unsure of, how it is regarded, how normal it is, and how willing employers generally are to be a little bit flexible. I have no problem going in super early (DH taking kids to nursery/school) and leaving early to collect them - and I am used to having to work an hour or two in the evening to stay on top of things.. but all of this wont work unless I can find an employer willing to be flexible.. :/

cost of child care is also an issue of course, but Im sure we can manage.. other people do so why wouldnt we..

I don't think it is particularly common for women to work ft after they have children. Most women IMO will at least try and flex to a pt arrangement. I went back pt and now my children are school-age, am back to working ft but see myself as a minority.

Under the UK flexible working regulations, all parents with a child under 16 are entitled to apply to their employer for flexible working. But it is only a right to apply and to be considered. The employer can turn it down fairly easily for "business reasons".

What some ft working parents do with nursery age children, is as you have described. One of them will opt to go in early (e.g. 8.30 - 4.30)and leave early to do the nursery pick up. The other does the drop off and normal hours. If you are interviewing for a job, I suggest that you raise this after they make an offer so you know where you stand. It is not a difficult arrangement to accommodate (particularly if you work from home after the children are in bed), but it very much depends on the employer and the job.

I have always worked full time (with two year long maternity leaves). Dc2 was born when dc1 started school which helped to keep costs down.

So, I take dc2 to nursery and then go to work. Dh takes dc1 to Breakfast Club (at School) and picks her up from after school club.

We are both able to claim Childcare Vouchers from our employers which saves £140 per month.

We share all household tasks and support each other. Life is good.

I work ft, and always have done - ds is 7 now. We used nursery, and now wrap around care at school plus holiday clubs.

If you will have space, and don't mind having an 18-25ish person in your home, then an au pair can work really well. My colleague had a series of Swedish au pairs as her child care for 13 years or so and was mostly very happy with the arrangement.

Depending on your role, you may be able to do the early in/ early out thing, but its down to individual negotiation. Commuting times can be long in the SE, so you do need to consider that.

I have 3 and have always worked FT with 3 x 1 year mat leaves. I used to work at home 2 or 3 days a weeks which was actually pretty stressful and i now work 5 days a week in London which I find easier to get into a routine with. We live in the souteast and our childcare is very expensive. The yougest is at nursery 8-6 which is 1000K a month. The middle goes to a childminder which is £5 per hour afterschool so £15 a day (but she doesn't charge for holidays luckily unlike the nursery which is all year round whatever weeks and hours you use - my DP often picks him up at 5). The oldest goes to after school club which is £10 a day. I am self employed and earn a good salary otherwise I really don't think it would be worth doing.

Like others I have gone from being relatively unusual to more lik the norm since having my first child 9 years ago - more and more famillies in the UK are moving to both parents woring I think, esp in the south east, due to the economic climate. I would say at the moment where I live and at the dc school it is about 50/50 now and on the increase (affluent area, commuter belt). In more demographically mixed areas nearby I think it is a bit rarer due to more famillies that don't work and are on benefits, but still on the increase i would say.

It all works pretty well and the kids are happy - life is hectic but we share chores, finances etc 50/50 (wouldn't work otherwise imo). The main problem in this country, as you can tell, is the extortionate cost of childcare. You have to both be in pretty well-paid jobs to break even or make it worth doing (or have family help). The most cost-effective solution imo is to find a good childminder and use them for all the children once they are at school.

we do the shift system too - one works 8-4, other 9-5 or 10-6 on any week so that we can drop them at school and what have you.

I worked under the flexible working scheme at my last employer for many years before becoming self-employed (so I worked from home 3 days a week at one point). Only think I will say is I got treated very badly and it very much stalled my career - I put up with it while the children were young and it suited me but it was stressful, demeaning and did damage my career. I am catching up again but you should be aware that this is not an uncommon story in the UK - Employers pay lip-service to flexible working because they legally have to but they aren't generally very happy about it, at least in my industry (banking/finance).

Not to say it can't work in other areas maybe?

Actually nursery is the least of your worries. Once they go to school they start at about 9am and finish at about 3.15. While nursery works around you, school is the opposite. They expect you to be available for "curriculum afternoons" and assemblies and concerts and sports day - sometimes at short notice. If you need to pay for after-school care that is also expensive, as are holiday clubs.

Meant to say I always worked full time but had to go PT when my DD started school, because we just couldn't manage the shorter school days.

Depends on the school. My dd's has wrap around care for £10 per day. Dh and I will go to what we can but there really is no pressure.

Our school had wrap around care too. I assumed most school had at least some cm willing to do drop off and pick up even if they don't have breakfast and after school clubs. It's fairly standard for primary schools near us. I never made it to much during the school day either and school understood that, no pressure ever put on us to go.

FT WOHM to 2 pre school boys here.
DS1 starts school in Sept, and I'm seriously considering quitting. Work have rejected a reduced hours application. Not sure how school holidays, sports days etc are going to fit in with inflexible employer.

Forgot to say, lost of part time teachers round me, but the rest of us (lots of male dominated work round here) work full time.

I have childcare for my toddler and will keep him in childcare until he goes to school at almost 5 years old. It's easier for me to do this (paying a private nursery) because if i send him to a part time school nursery place it would mean a lot of ferrying him around each day which isn't possible when working full time.

At five, when he is in school, I will have to pay a childminder or maybe renegotiate my hours so i start earlier and leave earlier each day.

For me and my friends this is the norm but I do know SAHPs too.

I am kucky enough to have a salary sacrifice scheme in work where the childcare payment is taken out of my salary before I am taxed. If I didn't have that i would be using a voucher scheme.

So far it's worked out fine for me but I think if I had two kids it would be harder financially.