Should HR departments ask women about their plans to start a family?

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Sheryl Sandbery COO of Facebook has recently said, ?Employers should be allowed to ask women about plans for children ? Every HR department tells you not to do that but we need to have a much more open conversation.? This has got the Family Friendly team at Mumsnet wondering what you think. Would it make for easier career planning for women and a more open discussion between women at work and employers or would it be a massive backwards step? Have you ever wanted to talk to a potential employer about your long term plans or ask about their maternity package? Have you ever been asked and felt that your answer has had a negative impact on your employability? We'd love to know.

At my work people agree that paternity leave is far the worst to plan for - you get at least 3 months notice for mat leave, a couple for people quitting, holidays planned to some.extent and usually only a week, but paternity leave is a fortnight, but no idea when over a 3 month period. Even sick leave tends to be better to plan round.

Just spotted this article from yesterday - I think this is response enough in itself, isn't it?
www.guardian.co.uk/law/2013/mar/09/women-on-maternity-leave-illegal-discrimation

Poo, forgot to tick the box:
www.guardian.co.uk/law/2013/mar/09/women-on-maternity-leave-illegal-discrimation

I think they should. I have seen the damage caused to children's education when teachers are off on maternity leave.

Rubbish reluctant if the school handles it correctly and plans appropriately there is no damage caused to a child's education. Maternity leave as others gave said is far easier to plan for than an employee who gives off sick etc. A teacher friend of mine has been off for cancer treatment, very short notice and much harder to plan for, are they going to start asking if people have a family history if cancer or a lifestyle that predisposes them to cancer or heart disease?!

Actually, it can be very difficult to cover a maternity leave adequately. If you teach a shortage subject, it's very hard to find a temporary replacement (we have the same problem covering long term absence). And the contract allows one week's notice on both sides. I have both taken maternity leave and returned to teaching after a career break by covering a maternity leave. Of course women should not be discriminated against when it comes to maternity leave, but it is not always possible to ensure there is no impact on the pupils when it happens. Unfortunately.

My view is that it is often best for everyone o take 2 weeks off. I don't want women to feel they have to take long periods off if they don't want to. As they only get 6 weeks on 90% pay and then it plummets to sums which do not cover the mortgage for most then 6 weeks with perhaps 2 week holiday tacked on is about the most many family can manage and works out very well and can even benefit the child.

It can also take much longer than two weeks to establish bfeeding, not all women can express even if they want to and not all babies will take a bottle or settle into a pattern of feeding that is compatible with a mum expressing etc.

the fallen yes it can be difficult to get cover but at least with maternity leave you get notice unlike with illness.

And many companies pay 6 months full pay for maternity leave. I took 9 months (6 months full pay 3 months statutory) with all of mine and don't apologise for o regret it at all) it worked out very nicely as, as others have said, my employers had over 6 months notice each time and various contractors are still thanking me now for the employment opportunities to cover my mat leaves. At 9 month the children were all weaned, settled, reflux issues under control etc and a good time to start nursery IMO as old enough to settle well but not clingy toddlers yet. This worked fine for me and my employers.

Yes, in an ideal world maternity absences would be handled well with minimal disruption. Sadly, they very rarely are, and it is hard to find decent short-term cover.

lunatic when I had ds1 I was at uni and I tried to go back when he was three wks old, I was able to leave him with dp and could express easily but he wouldn't take a bottle and he just screamed the whole time I was away :( and my boobs were huge and uncomfortable, plus I was still suffering from SPD and recovering from a nasty episiotomy, I lasted a fortnight and then took a year out and went back when he was 13mths old, much better. Those early weeks were really stressful ad I was trying to study, express etc and do was really hands on and did loads but it just wasn't worth the stress.

That's not the fault of the women taking maternity leave tho reluctant

No, it isn't. I am a teacher who has taken maternity leave in the paste, by the way.

According to Wikipedia:

"Her executive compensation for FY 2011 was $300,000 base salary plus $30,491,613 in FB shares.[15] According to her Form 3, she also owns 38,122,000 stock options and restricted stock units (worth approx. $1.45 billion as of mid-May 2012) that will be completely vested by May 2022, subject to her continued employment through the vesting date. [16]

In 2012 she became the eighth member (and the first female member) of Facebook's board of directors.[17]

In October 2012, Business Insider reported that stock units (appx. 34 million) vested in Sandberg's name accounted for nearly $790,000,000. Facebook withheld roughly 15 million of those stocks for tax reasons which left Sandberg with a neighborhood of nearly $417,000,000."

An incredibly wealthy and powerful woman who has already had children (2) effectively telling other much less powerful and much less wealthy women that they should be prepared to answer questions about plans for a family.

No. Is a complete sentence.

I cannot believe that we are even discussing this.

Of course they should not ask.

Thanks :) its hard trying to balance everything, I am I pressed by those that do go back to work when babies are little, I couldn't do it. Everyone told me it would be easy ad. Babies just sleep all the time,....ha ha ha ha and I think the assumption was if I took a year out I wouldn't go back. That assumption by family, friends etc actually made me bloody determined to prove them wrong! and I was then able to enjoy that first year with ds1 without worrying about my degree.

I am sure its possible for some women to go back to work asap and that's great for those that want to, but i don't think it should be the expectation/default. Women need time to recover and to establish bfeeding if that what they want etc.

'Impressed'

Good post MoreBeta.

An incredibly wealthy and powerful woman who has already had children (2) effectively telling other much less powerful and much less wealthy women that they should be prepared to answer questions about plans for a family

No. Is a complete sentence

^^ This sums it up to me.

1. They should not be asjked or else everyone should be asked the general question are their circumstances outside work (you keep a horse, compete for England, live with two demented parents, have 10 dogs or whatever) that may interfere with your work. Such a general question would have to be asked of men and women as plenty of men earn secondary money in a family with the wife earning more and if a child is sick the man does the childcare as woman's career comes first in a good few marriages these days. Not all women marry sexist men.

1. I mention the 2 weeks not because I think every woman should take it but I think some younger girls are almost conditioned into a kind of sexism by society and the convenience of husbands to take very very liong leaves and think if they don't take a year they have somehow failed. I just want them to realise if you feel up to it (and it is hugely easier at a desk in an office than managing as we had at one stage a 3 year old, 1 year old and a brand new baby which is just about the hardest work on the planet for most of us who cannot afford not to work and have help) go back sooner as it solves a lot of problems, financial, sexism at home, gets the baby used to a routine etc.

1. I much more enjoyed breastfeeding the twins when I worked for myself and they were brought to me at home to feed by our nanny. It is not fun expressing at work but it's not for long and if it means your life is on the whole better I found it a small price worth paying.

1. Try to pick work where you can work for yourself ultimately. My advice to the children is that too. It is much better to own than be someone's employee. It gives you more power and control and you can even then employ women and trust them to get work done in whatever manner you feel works. Someone who does work for me with a baby is even now doing that from abroad which is working well.

The bottom line is if you are very very good at your job and utterly reliable and indeed try to be one of the best at it in the UK employers will bend over backwards to keep you. If you hardly put in the hours are a bit of a skiver, off sick at every excuse, hate the work and your family mostly reply on male earnings you probably won't do so well at work.