Denying your kid's existence??

[Charlene1]

In order to increase your chances of going back to work, what do you put on application forms/cv's/say in interviews etc. to explain being a sahm? Do you cover it up and put "domestic responsibilities" and not actually mention you had kids. Do you mention it at every opportunity and emphasise things like being able to do 18 things at once and manage time/budgets etc.
What do you say if an employer asks if you have kids/plan on any/any more/what childcare arrangements you have/refuses to employ you as you have them etc. (I know, it's illegal to ask, but I was asked loads of times by different companies before I ever dreamed of having kids).
Worried if I want to get a job, I'd have to "deny my kids exist" in order to get one and agree to any hours etc. over and above contracted ones to keep it and suffer the consequences. #when I worked for a certain supermarket years ago, parents were treated like crap. They were "not committed", a "pita" to rota for etc. Wouldn't want someone to see me as that.

Oh good luck. you are having a tough time. But you are doing a good job of keeping your head high and moving forward. Something will come your way. It has to.

Good luck, I hope Monday brings good news or more interviews.

Sorry to hear that you're having such an awful time! I hope that your interview went well and that it will turn into a job! I still need help with interviews! I'm crap at them! Next time I have one, I'll be posting to ask for help.

Good luck with hearing from the jobs!

thanks!!

My advice as somebody who has been a recruitment agent, is avoid recruitment agents, they are jumped up administrators who talk shite and think they have the power to control your career (which they do in fact, but that's not the point). I have been interviewed by these plonkers and I would say aim a bit higher, the lower level the job the worse you'll be treated in my experience.

Yep, good advice Angela! Most of them have talked down to me, and made me feel like crap.
One whinged when I told her the salary I wanted and said oh no, we can't pay that we can only pay X. I said, "can't go lower", they said "nothing for you then". I started off going for the "high jobs". Got sneered at - they only want "the best" - and I'm "not suitable" - despite years of experience and qualifications for these jobs.
Not got any phone calls today again.

Dp has taken my CV to work and given it to the HR manager. I really wanted to get a job by myself, but it looks like I can't - feel like they're only looking at it out of pity. It is SOOO humiliating!!!!!

Have you had any news about the jobs today at all?

Nothing yesterday, but phone call today from company asking me to go for interview Thurs afternoon. I really want that job as it's 2pm finish on Fridays, so I can pick DS up from school. Not very good wages, but I'd rather have the nice hours at the moment!! Would also mean 4 days rather than 5 that DS needs childcare after school, and DD can come home early as well.
Have emailed the agencies to ask them to tell me why they are not replying to me and the reasons they won't give me interviews. Have to wait and see what happens with that.

Interview went really well (well, I thought so!), still no reply from agencies.
Trials at nursery going well, booked in again for next week.
Todays job have promised to decide by next Friday, as they are interviewing 3 more people.
They asked how I got involved with the voluntary work, I just said "my child was at X and Y asked me to help out". They asked why I wasn't doing it now, just said I'd moved away from area. So it was fine. They were also fine about start dates, and I really liked them and want the job.
I did make the mistake of walking though in this hot weather, so was very hot and sweaty when I got there, and had to stop to buy flip flops on the way home as my feet swelled up in my shoes!!
They will probably hurt for about 3 days now!!

Did ask them about bike storage, as I would prefer not to walk as it would mean leaving kids at nursery longer, as it took 40 mins to walk there and would be about 15 - 20 by bike. Buses go at the wrong times, so no go there.

DP's work are probably going to ask me for interview next week with some other people.

I feel like I'm getting there slowly now!!

Charlene - did you hear back from the job?

No, still nothing. No ones returning phone calls, I'm not getting interviews. Still applying like mad for everything going.
People are saying I can only get low wages cos of "no experience". Agency asked if I wanted to apply for a min wage job, I said I had already told them I couldn't work for less than £x, it isn't possible, as I would end up in worse debt, cos of childcare etc. Probably won't get an interview with them now as I dared to specify I wanted enough money to live on and pay the nursery fees. Really miserable at the moment.

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!
Went through a new agency and they were really good. Consultant really good. However, woman from the company who interviewed me asked:
How many kids I'd got
How old they were
What childcare arrangements I had
If I had family to look after them if they were ill
If I was married
What my partner did.

I was really offended by her asking, but I answered her anyway, and thought if I don't get this, I am sooo reporting you. She also said she wanted someone who wasn't going to try and progress or be promoted, The job was advertised as being the start of a career - which is why I wanted it. Hmmm....

I was ecstatic to be offered the job, but now I've calmed down, I'm getting paranoid that they'll use me, and get rid of me if I have to have time off, and I'll end up in the s**t.
Can't believe she asked me all those personal questions - I nearly told her to eff off but I thought I'd keep cool and see what happened. DP said they're just being cautious as they don't want to employ someone who may have teenage yobs/drug dealers etc in the family, or permanently ill kids, but I'm thinking "she'll be gunning for me if I have problems with the kids".
It's a job as a typist in an office, temp - perm.
Money appalling, but promised pay rise if taken on permanent. I'll be in a better position for another job if it doesn't work out.
Also got hassle of tax credits and childcare to sort now, as they want me "as soon as humanly possible"
What do you think to the questions - out of order or am I being paranoid?
Rest of office seems nice and friendly, so should I just hope for the best??
DS said "great, can we go on holiday when you get paid mum?". DD wants to go to nursery now(not sure she'll like it full time, but I hope it's OK).
I've got to abandon my kids . No more life of leisure.... WHAT HAVE I DONE??

Great news, Charlene!

Your kids will be fine once they get into the new routine.

I'm not sure about teh questions. I know they shouldn't have asked, but I suppose it partly depends on teh way in which they were asked, iyswim.

You seem to be suggesting you think they would not be flexible, but they might have just been asking to genuinely understand who you are & what your situation is. If they hasn;t wanted to employ someone with kids (and they could have found out by asking less obvious questions) then they wouldn;t have chosen you!

If the job doesn;t turn out, I think it is far easier to find work when you are in it, anyway, iyswim. Fingers x for you.

Thank you! They have job share people in a different dept, so that is hopeful for future negotiation of starting later/less lunch break etc if I need to drop ds at school. I think the company is OK as a whole, I hope I am just overreacting!!

Congratulations on your job offer Charlene1!

Hopefully this should give you back some of your self esteem. You will definitely be in a much better position for another job whether or not you get offered a perm job with this company.

Brilliant news Charlene - the first step!!

Well done Charlene!

Hope it all goes well. I do think it's not on to ask those questions but I guess that's because it costs loads of money to employ someone in the first place and it's risky for them... still ikwym.

Gives me a bit of hope!

Well, what a bloody disaster my first day was. Got there at 8.50 am, office manager came to me and said "there's been a mix up, we've given your job to someone else from another branch, and we have no desk/space for a chair for you anyway until Monday." I said "have I got a job or not then?" She said "speak to the agency". She swore blind she'd told the agency yesterday, agency told her they'd been ringing me all day. They hadn't, cos I'd rung the agency 3 times trying to get hold of the consultant about my contract and she never rang back.
So I sat there like a lemon for half an hour and they told me to go home. Got hold of agency and she said they can offer me part time but they don't know what the job is.
Then I got a call from another job I'd been for (pt and term time only) - I screamed yes down the phone and ended up going there to sign forms etc. and I told them what had happened with first job so they said "don't wait until Sep, start this term if you like". So I am starting there Monday pm and waiting for the stupid agency to ring back and tell me if I've got a morning job or not.
I was so p*d off - I have been invoiced for 3 full days and 2 half days at nursery for this week, which I can't claim for from company or tax credits, as I hadn't signed a contract - basically it's tough, not their problem; and now am going to have to tell nursery to change hours again after next week, as they need a weeks notice of changes.
At least I've got the afternoon job which I really wanted!!

can you talk to someone senior at the agency this is totally not on!

it annoys me so much the way agencies treat people. i would not let it lie and get the agency to pay for the nursery. (or at least make my views known in the strongest terms) i am mad for you!

well done for getting the other job set up

Bloody hell they really have messed you about - I hate agencies out for themselves all the time.

Well done on the afternoon job

Well, I sent emails to company, the consultant and her manager, to complain and see if they would at least pay my childcare. the consultant rang and said she wanted me to ring her to "discuss things". I didn't as I knew she would twist everything. None of them have bothered to reply to my email, it has been a week now since I sent it.
We have had to use our rent money to cover the nursery bill - so we can't pay our rent this month and have no way to get the money.
Anyone got any ideas on what to do next? Dp keeps telling me to forget it, but I can't as we could be evicted because of this.
As for new job, worked last week and this week, don't know if they want me next week, and after that no work until September. I have had no formal offer letter, no contract, don't know if I'll get paid for August or not.

And now nursery, knowing full well that my hours are not fixed and I wouldn't know until today or tomorrow about next weeks childcare have took it upon themselves to book my kids in every day for the next 2 weeks and have invoiced me for it. Dp says we have to pay it as they have changed the original invoice to cover the "reduction" to part time but have assumed I would be using them every day - which I won't be - and "I've messed them around too much, so if we don't pay we'll get told to sod off". I spoke to the manager and she said it is right and she'll "explain it tomorrow".