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Original poster

nightmare @ work

36 replies

Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 14:58

please help !!! i have been let down on child care for friday coming and my employer has said its unacceptable and i need to sort it sooner rather than later.... this is the 2nd time since i went back to work (my baby is just one) that i have had to take time off for child care ...... also when i returned i was made part time in a different position which i again wasnt happy about but could do nothing about....... can they do this and does anyone know where i can find my rights and get concrete advice, im at my wits end with them now !!!!!

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stinkpit · 06/06/2012 15:10

Try direct.gov - there is lots on there about employment rights. If you are a carer (i.e have a dependant, child or adult) you are entitlted to reasonable time off to deal with emergencies including breakdown in care arrangements.

Also regarding your change in role at work - I think you should have gone back to the same role or if that role no longer exists a role with the same or better conditions. Try the Citizens Advice Bureau for more info or union if you belong to one.

Hope this helps - and good luck!

Gumby · 06/06/2012 15:14

Why has your childcare fallen through?
Would you consider nursery as a more reliable option?

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 15:15

yeah ive looked on there but it all seems a bit washy, im thinking acas might be my best bet at the moment, the position is still there my manager now does it ...........

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TequilaMockinBird · 06/06/2012 15:16

What Gumby said. A nursery or registered CM would probably be better than whatever the current situation is.

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 15:19

hey gumby, my mum normally has her but she is away and child care with a nursery is too expensive for us to consider. I have my friend who normally has her but she has commitments herself on that day (her own kids birthday!) its just the attitude on the phone and its even worse when im there, im starting to feel like they dont want me there but dont know how to get rid of me...... i have considered resigning but dont know how it would leave me with working tax credits

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SarkyWench · 06/06/2012 15:27

tbh I'm not surprised that your employer is getting pissed off.
I do sympathise about how difficult this all is, but at the end of the day your mum being away is not a good excuse to be off work.
If you want to keep on working then you will have to find more reliable childcare. I do know it is not as easy as just saying this, but this is how it is.

I'd focus your efforts on finding childcare and not on contacting acas etc.

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 15:35

i dont think twice in 9 months justifies your comments and maybe you should have got the full facts before your nasty comment. It is not only to do with the child care issue - i also have two other kids as well its to do with the whole bigger picture. Thanks for your not helpful comment.

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SarkyWench · 06/06/2012 15:42

Hi.
I really wasn't trying to be nasty. I'm sorry if it came across that way.
I have been where you are and I know how shitty it is to be let down when it comes to childcare.

But the bottom line is that the majority of employers will be pissed off if you have to be off work because your mum is away.

Hope that you find a solution that works for you.

bananaistheanswer · 06/06/2012 15:44

Is it just you OP or do you have a partner who could take the time off instead?

SarkyWench · 06/06/2012 15:47

Having read the PM you just sent me, I'm now hiding this thread.

Good luck.

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 15:47

my partner works at the same place but has a higher position than me, it would be more difficult for him to take time off and more costly as its unpaid. Does anyone know if i resign we can still claim working tax & child credits if i became a full time mum, the whole thing is really depressing me :-(

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bananaistheanswer · 06/06/2012 15:57

Has your partner tried to get time off? You would rather resign than see if your partner could take his turn to cover childcare? Seems extreme to me.

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 15:58

yeah he has asked and was told no as he is in his department on his own at the moment, there is no one to cover him

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TequilaMockinBird · 06/06/2012 15:58

Tax credits will contribute towards childcare costs. I agree with Sarky, your employer will be pissed off at you taking time off cos your mum is away.

Have you looked into CM/nursery costs and how much Childcare Tac Credit you could potentially get?

rainbowinthesky · 06/06/2012 16:00

Liz1506 Shock at sending a pm to someone. I was going to post a useful reply but wont now.

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 16:04

think i have posted the wrong feed here....... my alternative childcare has let me down not my mum it was all in place i was after advice on here but thinking now i have made the wrong decision. Thanks for anything constructive but this really isnt helping my situation and it seems the original questions have been missed or lost somewhere ............

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TequilaMockinBird · 06/06/2012 16:07

I think the only thing that will help your situation is to get some long-term, reliable childcare. You can't expect any employer to keep giving you days off because your childcare has let you down!

DukeHumfrey · 06/06/2012 16:12

You say in your OP that your employer has said that it's unacceptable & needs sorting out (can't blame them, really) - but have they said what specifically might happen if you don't?

You're asking "can they do this?" - just trying to work out what it is they are wanting to do?

NotaDisneyMum · 06/06/2012 16:12

Liz - I think what people are saying is that your employer has a right to their position and you will struggle to argue it on legal grounds.

It is not unreasonable for your employers to expect you to sort out alternative childcare with 48 hours notice and it doesn't fit the criteria for 'unpaid emergency parental leave'.

But, you could try negotiating and appealing to their better nature - explain that in future you'll take leave to cover the holidays, or book formal childcare - can you take work home, or go in over the weekend to make up hours this time?

Long term, it sounds like you might need to make more robust childcare arrangements - but right now, your only option is to be apologetic and nice about it rather than assume that they are being unreasonable, I think.

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 16:21

No they haven't said anything as to what might happen as they are too clever for that and also with my husband working there too. If I had any where else for her to go I would have organised it. They just don't appear to be sympathetic in any way especially as they made me part time and demoted me so to speak without even giving me chance to go back to my original position after my leave.

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madoldbird · 06/06/2012 16:33

As you have advance warning of Friday, can you not take a day of A/L? I would certainly have to in that situation. Do try and seek advice on your rights on returning to work, you organisation should have a maternity policy if it is of a reasonable size, I would have thought. Ours states that if you return to work within 26 weeks you are entitled to return to the same job with the same terms & conditions.

DukeHumfrey · 06/06/2012 16:34

Your rights on returning to work are on Direct.gov here.

How long was your maternity leave in total?
Your main question is actually about the job thing, isn't it, not the childcare?

HRHexGirl · 06/06/2012 16:37

I think there are several different issues here:

  1. The background to you going part-time
  2. The change in position
  3. The fact that your DH isn't able to take time off; and
  4. Your childcare arrangements have let you down

I think you need to consider points 1-3 separately. If necessary, get all the facts down on paper and post a new thread about them in the appropriate topic. You can then decide if you need to get formal advice re. points 1 and 2.

On point 3, it is your DH's equal responsibility to care for your child. I think you need to discuss with him how such situations are dealt with in the future and have a back up plan in place. If he is genuinely willing to try and take the time and his work are unreasonably refusing it then that is one thing. If he is reluctant to take time off for fear of rocking the boat then that is another issue as he needs to appreciate that you can't take the flack from your employer all the time. Given that you both work for the same company then you'll both have a fair idea of the culture, policies etc.

On the issue of last minute childcare arrangements then I think you're going to have to suck it up and pay for childcare for one day. I've had to do this in the past when DH and I had both taken time off to look after DS and MIL and DM had also done their fair share. We got an emergency nanny for one day through an agency which might be an option for you. Otherwise, have a look at sitters.co.uk. It is not ideal having to leave your child with a stranger for the day but if there is a chance that taking time off at the last minute could result in disciplinary action then it might be worth paying for it.

I know it is horribly stressful but, at the moment, you have to deal with the facts as they are and try to put something in place for Friday. You will be able to cobble something together. Once you've got Friday sorted you wil feel easier and then you need to look at the general employment issues when you're in a more calm frame of mind and can assess whether there are any genuine concerns which needs to be dealt with your employer in the long term.

Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 16:41

Hi duke yeah it is. I was on maternity for approx 16 weeks in total I went back early at their request to cover my managers holiday !!! It was 4 weeks after they changed my role and hours and it wasn't put to me as a option if you follow me. The childcare issue just puts a hat on it so to speak im starting to feel worthless and kept onto cover holidays in the role I was taken out of which I did last week for again no thanks

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Original poster
Liz1506 · 06/06/2012 16:44

Thanks hrhexgirl yeah I know what you mean there are other issues as well. Thank you for your input food for thought

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