How much do you work and what's your childcare arrangement?

[nm123]

DD is 6 months next week which means I'm almost half way through my maternity leave... I'd always hoped to go back to work for 3 days a week and be based at home rather than the office - thinking that DD would go into nursery for 2 days and my mum would have her for the other day. (Even this feels naff me being at home and turfing DD out whilst I work, but there's no way I could focus on work with her around!)

After chatting with my colleagues last week I think it's more likely that whilst I may be able to reduce my hours, I'll likely need to work some hours every day - eg 9-1 every day perhaps. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of not having at least one full day off but it might be my only option... I'm thinking maybe mum would have DD for 2 mornings (ie the equivalent of 1 full day which mum said would be her max) and then she'd do 3 mornings in nursery. I'm wondering whether this might be a lot for DD - ie her being out of the house every morning....

So anyway, just being nosey really - what's your work/childcare pattern?

At that age I worked Tuesday & Friday one week and
Tuesday Friday & Saturday the following week

Ds was in nursery 8.30 - 6pm every Tuesday & Friday

No grandparents nearby to help

I went back full time when DS was 5.5 mo. Dh also works ft but has days off in the week so DS goes to a wonderful cm 3 days a week. He thrives with the cm, and has learned so much from the other children.

Having a cm, i.e. one person, has been important to us. But that's only our preference.

(we also do all that dippy hippy baby wearing, blw, AP stuff at home to help us feel better about working!)

3 days a week. Dd does 2 days at nursery and 1 day with dm. It works well for us and I'm not extending until they are at school

Oops. I went back when dd was 2. She is almost 3 now

I went back when ds1 was six months - did two long days with my mum having him. Ds2 came along a year after I went back and when he was six months I went back again - but this time using a nursery one day and my mum one day. Then when my marriage broke up and my mum got ill I went to three days and used a nursery all three. Now ds are five and four and i work four days a week, term time only. I rely on nurseries and after school/breakfast clubs.

I went back when DD was almost 10 months. I work full time and DD goes to nursery full time. She settled well and seems to love going.

My work pattern now is much too complicated to explain (work a variety of jobs which are seasonal. Some where I live, some I come down south to do. Some I do from home. Occasionally the worlds collide a little. But DC are older now and so school is useful as well. NB I do not see school as free child care )

When DC were younger I had a "proper" job which I did three days a week and they went to a nursery and later on to a childminder.

When DS was just turned one I went back to work 2 days pw and he went to a nursery.
Increased hours to 3 days when he was 3, but worked 3rd day from home so it was a shorter day in nursery (I commute).
Now he's at school I work 3 days per week, he goes to after school clubs on 2 days and I leave early to collect at 4.45. 1 day I work in the office all day and his grandmother picks him up. I also work from home for a few hours on the remaining day to make up for the 2 days I leave a little early, this works well since I would probably be picking up my emails anyway.
I try not to work at all one day a week, though do still get dragged into the odd phone call.
I love my work / life balance, feel really lucky to be able to pick DS up 4 days a week whilst still having a decent job.
Good luck working your own pattern out!

Fulltime after 39 weeks of mat leave both times. Reducing my hours doesn't make financial sense, as my loss in earning would be bigger than anything I would save on child care cost. Simply can't afford to go part time, plus my job doesn't really lend itself for that.

I do 3 days a week - DMIL has DD2 and does the school run on days I work. With DD1 I went back full time at 6 months and DMIL had DD1 for me 5 days a week. Luckily I get on well with DMIL and the kids adore her

I went back full time when dd was 5.5 months old. ML wasn't the full year then. Dd went to a lovely nursery.

I went back when DS was 6 months and initially had to do 5 days 8.30-3.30. He was in nursery 5 days. GPs started having him one day a week when he turned 1yr.

After 18 months of wrangling with my bosses, I eventually negotiated a 4 day week. GPs still have him one day and he's in nursery 3 days and I have him all to myself on Fridays. I feel he gets a good balance.

I went back to work full time when DD1 was 12 weeks old (maternity allowance was much less then) and she went to a childminder 8-6 4 days a week and DP had her on his day off as he worked saturdays and had a day off in the week

Thanks for the quick replies!

I already feel the guilts about "offloading" DD to someone else and the control freak in me hates the thought of her spending lots of time without me. I've always known I'd be a working mum, but now it's actually happening it's making me feel weird/guilty... I've always earnt slightly more than OH so it's not an option for me to stay home full time - besides, I've worked hard for my career and want to work.... Just bloody hard to have it all eh?

How do you guys feel about your arrangements?

Not one ounce of guilt. My one year old lets out a big squeal of joy as soon as she sees the nursery building, and my 3 year old is pretty much just running ahead off to her pre-school room. They love their nursery, and are well-loved there.

I know that I'm more patient with them and enjoy my time with them more when I'm working than I did when I was at home.

I picked a nursery selfishly, as couldnt deal with the idea of a childminder or Nanny that my son would see more than me, or build a really close bond with. At a nursery he's had 3 Nannies to a room, and they've rarely changed in the time he's been there (each room about 12 months) so he builds bonds like a child would to a teacher, but no more.

I know that sounds mad to some, but it was my way of coping with having to go back to work.

I dont feel guilt about going to work and using childcare - as a single parent I know I am showing my kids its important to work hard and provide and money doesnt come from no where. I also need the adult company - and my kids have thrived in the nursery I picked.

I think if you are working from home the arrangement of working mornings should work really well. You will have afternoons free to spend time with her and go on outings etc.

I had 46 weeks of mat leave.
I work 3 days a week. DD goes to nursery 2 days and to my mum/auntie for a day in alternate weeks (I pay my auntie, but not my mum!)

It has worked very well for us. DD is happy at nursery and her development is amazing. She's so good at turn-taking and sharing, which I worried about as she hasn't got a sibling (and not likely to have for a while).

I'm a teacher so I pick her up at about 4.15pm on nursery days so I still get a good chunk of time with her.

It's not perfect, we're pretty skint, and my career progression has all but stopped but family life is good and we're all happy enough.

My three have all gone to nursery for two or three full days, DS1 from 7 months, DD from 11 months and DS2 from 14 months. (the nursery I like best doesn't do half days for babies, dunno why). They have all thrived.

If you can avoid having to be up and out every day it's nicer, but then once you are in the routine of it you'll be fine. I quite like the sound of working half days.

I was always fine about it. I researched and booked a good place. Dd was always happy. The first year though - they get every bug going. My boss used to give me cats bum faces when I danced out the door at lunchtime to pick her up AGAIN. After that though, she has rarely been ill - a day or 2 here and there.

I must admit felt sad when I had to work 5 days and I cried buckets for the first few weeks back at work, but he didn't seem bothered and I was more frustrated that work were so inflexible and that I had to fight so hard to get my hours reduced. I think it was because he was so young.

Looking back on it, I was just really emotionally everywhere like every mother is returning to work I'd imagine. DS loves nursery and has his little pals and has great relationships with the nurses in the room. They do activities that I wouldn't think of and as we don't have a lot of friends/family with young kids nearby, I think it's good for him to mix with other children, and also to have relationships with other adults.

As portfino says, they pick up everything. I was also always having to pick DS up and keep him off but it did settle down after a few months.

Oh God, yes, the illness thing. No-one prepared me for that. I can't take any holidays so DP used all his and then all manner of randoms minder her, I'm sorry to say. She was literally ill with something every day for about 3 months straight, including 2 bouts of nits thrown in for good measure

I am a better mother now that DD is in nursery and I am at work full time. I was not cut out to be a SAHM and found maternity leave pretty dull and thankless.

Now that DD is getting bigger (she's 16 m) I do wish I could spend some more time with her but fortunately my company operate summer Fridays so I can work an extra few hours and take Friday afternoon off. I already easily work those extra hours!

We leave together as DP and I work close to each other. Drop DS (5) at childcare place by his school at 7.30. I'm then at work by 8 and DP by 8.30.
DP finishes work at 5pm, picks me up by 5.30 and we pick DS up just before 6pm.
DP pays for voucher things through his work,

DS is 20 months. I work 21 hrs a week, which I usually do as 3 x 7 hr days. I have tried two longer days but found that

• too much time out of the office between work days creates log jams
• I'm 7 mo pregnant and 10 hrs at the screen is too much now
• If I do 10 hr days I dont see DS at all on those days, whereas if I do 7 hr days I get an hour pre work and a couple of hrs post work.

I have a housekeeper/nanny (not UK, so not a qualified nanny- more a mother's help I guess), who looks after DS on my work days (they go to various activities like mini-soccer, have playdates and then just potter around, do reading/ colouring etc). It works pretty well. I am better/ more enthusiastic on my 2 "no work" days as a result of working for 3 days.

However I do feel a bit bad because we dont really "need" my wage. I just like working.