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Original poster

Who returned to work full time after a short-ish maternity leave?

33 replies

Gennz · 21/03/2012 21:31

Hello everyone,

I am new here and I don't have children yet ... just a ridiculously premature planner...

My husband and I have thinking of ttc later this year (probably around October). I will be 31 - fingers crossed everything will go smoothly, but I thought we'd better get cracking in case it didn't (been together 11 years & married for 4 ... have spent our 20s having a great time and it's quite difficult to reconcile totally giving up that lifestyle!)

Anyway I'd be really interested to hear from those of you who went back to work after 3 - 6 months maternity leave not because you absolutely HAD to, money-wise (though of course it helps!) but because you wanted to or because responsibility in your job made it difficult to get cover.

I am a sole in-house lawyer with a job that I really love - I've worked quite hard to get to where I am and I can't imagine giving it up. To complicate matters, where we live (NZ) the opportunities to do what I do are quite rare - it's unlikely I'd find another role if I gave up my current one. My job is quite autonomous and the hours are fine (8.45 - 6, generally no later), it's a 10 minute drive from my house, so in that sense things are quite easy. I can't imagine that I'd be able to do it part time at all though (given there's only one of me) - perhaps I could do one day from home, but no more than that. I think we could afford a nanny and we have both sets of grandparents not far away so that helps. My husband is also an in-house lawyer, and would be in a similar psoition re flexibility - maybe one day from home or a 4 day compressed week, but not really in a position or with the desire to be a SAHD.

Would I be mad to take between 3-6 months leave and then start phasing back remotely and/or with a day or 2 in the office, just to keep my hand in? Has anyone else done something similar? My not-particularly-career-driven sister & mother think the idea is absolutely mad when money is not the issue (or not the main issue) but then I'm not sure they get where I'm coming from ...

Thanks!

OP posts:
Gumby · 21/03/2012 21:34

When I had my dc maternity leave was still 6 months so with 4 weeks before the birth off my dc were 5 months when they went to nursery
As long as you're organised it should be fine
I did only go back 3 days though
A nanny will be much better than nursery I think

kickassangel · 21/03/2012 21:34

I went back after 4 months. One thing I would say is that you don't know how quickly you'll get over the birth, so leave some flexibility - I thought I was fine but then discovered that I had almost no immune system so kept getting sick.

camtt · 21/03/2012 21:37

I think it could work, but you might be better to keep an open mind about how much time you would have off since many people change their minds about going back early once the baby arrives. Your employer would cope - bring in someone on secondment from an external firm perhaps, or just advertise for maternity cover, which would probably be easier if you had at least 6 months off.

With my first maternity leave I phased back to full-time over 8 months, with my second, over5 months, with my third, I just got on with it - by that one it felt easier just to launch straight back in, plus then at a different stage in my career.

Llareggub · 21/03/2012 21:39

I kind of did this. I had 5 months off then went back 2 days, building up to full time ( though compressed to 4 days) by the time he was 10 months. He is 5 now and I've worked nearly every working pattern plus a stint as a SAHM. Working full time is best for me.

Might be best to go with the flow a bit. Babies don't usually take notice of plans!

Portofino · 21/03/2012 21:40

I went back when dd was 5 months. It was fine - though frequent "bugs" in the early days - my boss got mildy pissed off. When I say bugs - dd would be sick - they would send her home - where she was fine. She is 8 now - and in all that time, apart from the odd cough and cold, she had a d&v bug once aged about 1, chicken pox at about 18 months and suspected slapped face thing aged about 5....otherwise no big problem.

BackforGood · 21/03/2012 21:41

Well I did, but then my children are older and 3 months was all the maternity leave you got, so, perhaps not quite what you are asking, but it's certainly manageable. Seems to make a lot of sense to not stay away from the job for too long if you re the only one doing the job. Will you be covered while you are off?

Portofino · 21/03/2012 21:42

Lordy - I hope that doesn't make me sound callous! She has loving mummy care whenever she is ill - just luckily she seems resoundly healthy!

Original poster
Gennz · 21/03/2012 21:43

Thanks everyone. Yes I totally agree re plans -I'll see how it goes (plus this is still a fair way off!). After working full on for so long it might be nice to have a total chnage of pace as well. I can't even begin to think about it if we had a baby who was a terrible sleeper - my nephew is 15 months and still doesn't sleep much at all - the idea of it fills me with horror...!

I just think that if all was going smoothly, I'd probably get quite restless during 9 - 12 months at home full time.

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 21/03/2012 21:44

I'm a lawyer too. I went back when ds was eight months, full time, actually to a new job which was an added potential source of stress. I loved it. You will probably be fine, if you decide you want to do it then you will (barring actual illness).

Original poster
Gennz · 21/03/2012 21:46

I'm not sure how work would cover me - I suspect it would be a mixture of external lawyers and some cover from the wider team in Australia. Which would be fine for 3 months or so but if I could start to phase in around that time - even if remotely for 3 months, maybe droppping in for meetings 1 day a week - it would keep me across it. I just want to figure out how feasible it is, rather than making grand plans to do something that is totally deluded!

OP posts:
senua · 21/03/2012 22:01

Well I did, but then my children are older and 3 months was all the maternity leave you got

Same here. I'm not sure what you think the problem is, logistically speaking. Babies are easy to care for, compared to older children who need ferrying to school / activities and are starting to not do as they are asked show character.
If you can get dedicated, one-on-one care (i.e. a nanny) then there shouldn't be a problem but it does get more difficult as they get older.

Oubliette0292 · 21/03/2012 22:07

I went back to work FT when DD was 5 months old. After DS was born I started a new FT job when he was 7 months old. I've never regretted it. If you can make the childcare work, then it is fine. I think 3 months might be pushing it though...

callmemrs · 21/03/2012 22:56

I returned when dc1 was 12 weeks old (I'm another oldie here, so this was the length of ML back then!) I went back 3 days a week, so not full time. But in terms of time off, its perfectly do-able, in fact in many ways, a baby will settle easier when younger. I have colleagues who take a year off nowadays and their children do seem to take longer to settle in childcare. I also continued bf when I returned, so there is no reason why you can't do that.

TheSecondComing · 21/03/2012 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Llareggub · 21/03/2012 23:26

Now that others mention breastfeeding, I will too. Both mine fed quite happily around my work and DS1 only stopped when his baby brother was born.

Mbear · 21/03/2012 23:26

I went back full time when ds was 4.5 months old, no major worries with nursery and illnesses (my dad picked him up early once).

I think cos he went so early was the reason we have never had any upset with leaving him and now at 2.5 we have mummy day, daddy day, grandma day and nursery day.

For us it was completely the right thing for me to go back so early (I have quite high anxiety and to have to relinquish control so early really was best for me). But each to their own.

Good luck!

Chubfuddler · 22/03/2012 00:33

Oh yes I bf ds morning and night until he was 2.

mrsbaldwin · 22/03/2012 15:01

You will be fine with what you suggest eg 3-6 months phasing back in, especially if you hire a nanny to help, as long as ...

... once child is born you don't get that 'now I've had a baby I can't possibly imagine leaving it ever' feeling that some get (I didn't)
... you get enough rest, because it's tiring getting up several times a night for in my case almost 3 years (you can still turn in a good job at work on 3 hours sleep a night but possibly rather bad-temperedly). This means your DH will have to do some turns at getting up in the night

There are lots of (middle class) women out there taking long maternity leaves/jacking in their jobs, but a fair amount of them will not have really loved their jobs in the first place.

insanityscratching · 22/03/2012 15:04

I went back to work when ds was 6 weeks old (I asked at a fortnight) the soonest the Civil Service at that time would allow Blush I had pnd, hated being at home with a ds who cried constantly. It was right for me at the time though

Original poster
Gennz · 22/03/2012 19:47

Thanks everyone. It's nice to hear from people who went back to work and didn't regret it/enjoyed being back at work.

The prevailing mindset that I seem to come across is that people only go back to work because they HAVE to, money wise, and the ideal situation is to be a SAHM. (Not saying we are loaded or anything - we would manage without my salary but it would mean quite a change in lifestyle/expectations.)That wouldn't be ideal for me so it's good to hear that there are others out there who have made it work.

I don't think I would be anywhere close to going back full time at 3 months but I doubt I'd be able to fully steer clear anyway - it's not my work's fault, it's my crackberry addiction ...

OP posts:
MummytoKatie · 23/03/2012 08:28

My SIL did. Went back ft when dn was 6 weeks. (Less ML then). She lasted all of 2 weeks before announcing she couldn't do it any more and leaving. Hasn't really worked since. Dn now a teenager!

I was of the view that long term I wanted to keep my career going (can afford not to work) so I needed to avoid that. Had the full year off, now only work part time. Even during chicken pox hell I have never doubted the decision.

May not work for you but thought I'd give you a different point of view.

OneLittleBabyTerror · 23/03/2012 09:26

I went back full time at 7mo, so later than what you are thinking. But I think with a nanny, it'll work much better than nursery. When they are little, their immune system isn't that great, and will get sick a lot from nursery. Also, unless the LO is very sick, your nanny will be able to handle it. If you can work from home initially, with the nanny looking after the baby, you can even breastfeed execlusively for the recommended 6 months.

I think with a nanny, and if both sets of grandparents are willing, it's not a mad idea at all.

OneLittleBabyTerror · 23/03/2012 09:29

Also agree with MummytoKatie that maybe taking a longer maternity leave will help with you staying in your career long term. It's easy to underestimate how tiring being a new mum is. The average baby hardly sleeps through the night at 3-6mo. If you find you can't cope with a 3mo and working full time, you are more likely to give up. If you waited till say 9mo, you might find your LO sleeping a lot better, and it's much easier for you to juggle FT work and being a mum.

Ciske · 23/03/2012 09:33

I went back after 6 months, which I felt was the right amount of time. Got to spend a good amount of time with DD and recover fully from birth, but still short enough to make return to work fairly easy. Also, young children settle in easier at nursery, so the move to daytime childcare was pretty smooth.

The first few weeks back are always difficult, but once the whole family settles into the new routine, that becomes the new 'normal' and you should be fine.

BrandyAlexander · 23/03/2012 09:45

I have done this. Took 4 months off and then went back 3 days a week. Phased back to full time after a year first time and in the midst of doing that now. Dh and I both high earners so we don't need the money, so I could have taken longer if I wanted. However, business wise, would have been a total nightmare and would have had to work a lot harder re-establishing things if I had taken a year off.

I know someone who does the same thing as me but in new york. Her baby is due at the end of June and she is taking off the month of July. Now that's hardcore! (But I understand typical in the US).