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Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

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Original poster

being FORCED into searching for work... feel extreme pressure!

72 replies

brightmoon6 · 09/11/2011 12:11

I am new to this, just registered today!

I was on income support as a single parent since dec 2008, then when my twin daughters turned 7 in September 2011, I was told I had to swap to Job seekers allowance making me available for work, whether I like it or not! Ok...so, that's fine but how does anyone find a part time job...get outside child care and be "reliable" to an employer when your children come first!!

I can manage a 10am-2pm daily, however, what happens in Half term, 2 and 6 weeks holiday?? I refuse to pay for Child care as I feel this is all I will be working for. Does anyone else feel like this? I am actually quite angry at the system the Jobcentre has in place for everyone across the board! Why should lone parents be put in a position that they must apply for 3 jobs a week and show evidence to prove it!

They really must live in the clouds because there are not many jobs that fit my criteria, so have started applying for things that I cannot actually do! what a waste of time...

I am dreading going to sign on again at 2pm today, I get angry and upset about this every 2 weeks. I would like to retrain but it seems to me, they are railroading me in to doing the same work i did before I had the children...:'(

Anyone else been in the situation?? any words support would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

SarkySpanner · 09/11/2011 12:13

What retraining would you like to do?

HeresTheThingBooyhoo · 09/11/2011 12:18

sorry but how long did you think you would be able to not work for? did you honestly not expect to have to support yourself just because you have children?

flowery · 09/11/2011 12:22

if everyone with school age children decided they would refuse to pay for any childcare and only consider jobs that allowed them to work 10-2 in school term time only, the country would collapse!

FreckledLeopard · 09/11/2011 12:22

I was a lone parent and worked full time. I paid for childcare before and after school, during the holidays and frankly got on with it. Whilst I'd love to be able to stay at home, have babies and do the school run, finances dictate that this isn't possible.

Why should you be any different to other working parents, whether single or otherwise?

worldgonecrazy · 09/11/2011 12:22

May I suggest that you are living in the clouds if you think that the money I earn and then pay in tax, should support you in your desire not to work?

vickibee · 09/11/2011 12:29

One of my dearest friends is a single parent of DD7 and DS4, she is retraining to be a social worker at Uni. She has a student loan, a bursary, IS, free school meals, help with child care costs and tax credits. She is much better off than when she was claiming IS alone and has degree and a career to look forward to. In fact she seems to have more disposble income than me.
All I am saying is look into retraining it may be the best thing that you could do long term

Rosa · 09/11/2011 12:29

You are in the same situation as many other people. Single or couples who work and have the same problems about finding work and childcare arrangements , and finding care for holidays. Most jobs entitle you to have some holiday as well so you take your holiday when the children are at home so that is some of the time / worry taken care of. Can you maybe look at a job that would enable you to work some of the time from home thus increasing your income?
If not I think you should be more realistic really and be thankful for the 7 years you have had living off the state. Many people would love to even try to apply for 3 jobs a week but often they are just not available !

marge2 · 09/11/2011 12:29

Not many jobs will fit the criteria. But you need to be at least looking for them. I take all my holidays to cover kids school hols. It covers most of it. I am lucky enough that DH or my Mum can cover a week or two, but if they couldn't then I would have to stump up for a holiday club or something.

Many of us with kids who have never been on benefits, need to work and pay taxes and still struggle like crazy to cover costs and scool holidays.

I don't get why you think you should be any different?

cat64 · 09/11/2011 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bugsy2 · 09/11/2011 12:39

Good grief! Why should you not work? I am a single parent & I work full-time to support myself & the DCs. I don't do my dream job and I have forsaken my career, so that I can do something that is 9-5 - but it supports us all and means that I can do the school run in the morning & only need a few hours of afterschool in the evenings.
Does your children's school have afterschool clubs? They are not usually very expensive.

drcrab · 09/11/2011 12:43

agree with everyone here.

LIZS · 09/11/2011 12:43

You may find you simply can't decline a job due to refusing to pay for childcare, as a condition of receiving JSA. You'd get the equivalent of about 6 weeks' holiday minimum then have to find cover for the rest, assuming it is a non termtime only role, using holiday clubs, grandparents and friends perhaps, if ex cannot/will not help. Chances are you may qualify for help with the cost of chidlcare through tax credits et al, so perhaps that would be worth exploring at your next appointment, to clarify the criteria. Surely you are available to work more than 4 hours though - you must drop them by 9 and collect well after 3 and could use an breakfast and/or after School club or childminder. Or maybe consider evening/weekend work if those are easier to cover. It might be worth taking something on very reduced hours or even voluntary to get into the habit and mindset of working.

lilham · 09/11/2011 12:45

Have you looked into childminders? Some of them cover half terms, and maybe even some term breaks. My DD is not even 1yo, but I'm already looking at this. Many of us have to work even with a child, to keep a roof over our heads. It's a struggle honestly.

flowery · 09/11/2011 12:46

I don't know anything about benefits but it wouldn't have occurred to me that there was an option to just decide you don't want to work and be supported by the state until children are 7, I'm quite surprised by that tbh.

Portofino · 09/11/2011 12:47

Why on earth should you not work? FT even? Yes you will need a childminder or afterschool club, but you can't be expected to be "kept" ad infinitum just because you have children. Welcome to MN by the way - though i do fear that if you were hoping for moral support on this isssue, you are going to be disappointed.

wigglesrock · 09/11/2011 12:50

You could look for work within a school setting, a lot of women I know clean schools, or are dinner ladies. I'd love to have the ability to refuse to pay for childcare. As the previous posters have said does the school have after hours although I realise this won't help in holidays.

drcrab · 09/11/2011 12:51

I'm at work now. I work full-time. My husband too. My 2 DCs are at nursery - from 8am-6pm (give or take 30 min either side). They are 3.8 years and 1.1 years. No grandparents nearby. Have good friends - have only used good friends v rarely to do childcare but reckon might rely more when older one is in school and needs pick up at 3.30pm. Maybe then we'd get a childminder...

I can't believe you think you can rely on the state (and US WORKING PEOPLE!) - well actually, you don't think you can, because you have.

Ephiny · 09/11/2011 12:52

Most of us don't have the luxury of 'refusing' to pay for childcare .

I get what you mean, that it can be difficult to find a suitable job when you've got young children, and to juggle all your responsibilities, I'm sure lots of people here can sympathise with that. But your attitute is horrible. You seem to want to blame everyone else and not even try.

EmmalinaC · 09/11/2011 12:53

Er, so you can't be "reliable" to your employer and put your children first?! What do you think the working parents on this forum do? Put their children second so they can earn more cash?!

I'm afraid I'm with all the the other tax-paying, childcare-juggling, part-time working parents of young children who find your attitude naive and, frankly, annoying.

You're not going to get much support here, methinks.

EmmalinaC · 09/11/2011 12:55

As you've said you're new to Mumsnet. May I suggest you hide this thread, re-phrase your original post and try Am I Being Unreasonable, instead?

eminencegrise · 09/11/2011 12:55

Tough shit!

They're 7, not 7 months.

The Lone Parent adviser will have input it in the system that you are a single mum and you'll not be expected to take certain jobs accordinly, but you can't expect to never work again just because you have children and are single.

paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife · 09/11/2011 12:56

Words fail me. Quite frankly, get a grip and land back on earth, work and earn something towards supporting yourself and your children like most other people do. I was a LP when my eldest two DC's were young. I worked to support us, it was hard but rewarding.

mollymole · 09/11/2011 12:57

Why not ask about training courses. You do, however, need to take a reality check and look at all us working parents who have paid for childcare etc so that we could pay into the pot so that you can take the piss out of us.
Now, after this little rant at you I have a suggestion that you may look into being a child minder yourself as this will allow you look after your own children
and earn some money. When you are working there will be allowances you can claim towards various costs and you need to research these and make an effort to work rather than leech off the tax payer.

Ariesgirl · 09/11/2011 12:58

I have three children between 11 and 14. I have lived on state benefits, which have supported us for years, and now they are in secondary school and the government is insisting that I look for a job. However I would prefer to do nothing and get paid for it. Why should I pay for childcare? Everyone else should pay for it. I don't care that other people are paying taxes to support me and may be struggling themselves as these are hard times we are living through - I deserve to be kept for nothing, as after all, I have children!

Good Lord.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 09/11/2011 12:59

Welcome to the real world!!

You do what the rest of us who have to work do - you manage. I would imagine that your childcare fees will be reduced if you are on benefits, and you use holiday clubs/after school clubs, friends and/or childminders to cover holidays and afterschool.

It will be good for your children to see you working and not relying on state handouts.

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