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Work

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Original poster

being FORCED into searching for work... feel extreme pressure!

72 replies

brightmoon6 · 09/11/2011 12:11

I am new to this, just registered today!

I was on income support as a single parent since dec 2008, then when my twin daughters turned 7 in September 2011, I was told I had to swap to Job seekers allowance making me available for work, whether I like it or not! Ok...so, that's fine but how does anyone find a part time job...get outside child care and be "reliable" to an employer when your children come first!!

I can manage a 10am-2pm daily, however, what happens in Half term, 2 and 6 weeks holiday?? I refuse to pay for Child care as I feel this is all I will be working for. Does anyone else feel like this? I am actually quite angry at the system the Jobcentre has in place for everyone across the board! Why should lone parents be put in a position that they must apply for 3 jobs a week and show evidence to prove it!

They really must live in the clouds because there are not many jobs that fit my criteria, so have started applying for things that I cannot actually do! what a waste of time...

I am dreading going to sign on again at 2pm today, I get angry and upset about this every 2 weeks. I would like to retrain but it seems to me, they are railroading me in to doing the same work i did before I had the children...:'(

Anyone else been in the situation?? any words support would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

kickingking · 10/11/2011 18:05

Well, you will have to use a childminder or breakfast club, after school club and holiday scheme - the same as everyone else who works and has children does. You're right, it is hard and it can eat up almost everything you earn.

The thing is, staying at home when you are children is a privilege, not a right.

As a single parent, I would be surprised if you don't get some help with childcare costs anyway.

MindtheGappp · 10/11/2011 18:11

OP, think of us who tried to do things properly wrt family life, and are working and paying taxes so that you don't have to.

I would love to pay less tax and have a few luxuries in my life. Alas, that is not possible as long as we have people who think that it is OK to say at home because they feel like it.

BertieBotts · 10/11/2011 18:19

Oh FFS, "tried to do things properly". Who says OP hasn't tried to do things properly? You don't have any idea why her relationship broke down.

lovingthecoast · 10/11/2011 18:21

Blimey! How can you be nervous of childcare when they're 7 years not 7months which is what many parents face! Surely if theyre in school all you need in wraparound care either within the school setting or from a local CM.

As for working mainly to pay the childcare, well, I'm afraid that's what thousands of parents up and down the country do every day.

EssentialFattyAcid · 10/11/2011 18:35

TBH you come over as "entitled" to a lifestyle funded by others who are prepared to do the things you are not prepared to do.

The majority of mothers work full time or part time but without school holidays off and often needing to pay for childcare outside of school hours (you would be paid tax credits subsidising this childcare).

Obviously there are scarcely any jobs that fit your "criteria". This is the real world. Your criteria belong to a fantasy world.

Clearly being a single mother of twins is no easy ride, but it doesn't entitle you to pick and choose your work like you expect to. I find your attitude shocking. I am very happy to pay taxes so that people who are unable to work can have a decent lifestyle. You are able to work but unwilling which is completely different.

Ephiny · 10/11/2011 19:02

I can understand being anxious about childcare with a baby or toddler, but if they're going to school, surely you're already 'leaving them with someone else' .

Sorry I know some of the comments are a bit harsh, but if you look at the way your OP is phrased it's surely understandable!

What kind of work do you want to retrain for? Maybe people will have some advice or experience if you can be a bit more specific?

Northernlurker · 10/11/2011 19:05

The 'nervous about leaving them' is nonsense. You just can't be arsed. I absolutely do not see why my tax paid from my wage should go to support you faffing about and deciding what you want to do. Grow up, get a job and support your children. Don't expect me and every other working parent to do that for you.

KatieScarlett2833 · 10/11/2011 19:11

Plenty of lone parents manage to find work with kids younger than yours.

Get a grip "angry and upset" about having to sign on?????

Diddums

DilysPrice · 10/11/2011 19:15

In the interests of constructive advice, the answer to the fact that holiday childcare costs more than you earn is that you budget carefully over the course of the full year; using the 8-odd months they're at school when you get 6 free hours of childcare a day, and your own 20+ days holiday a year to offset the remaining time when you have to pay through the nose for childcare (though there may be some cheaper alternatives if you apply early).

I'm always shocked by the number of posters each year who can't work this one out and post "OMG, it's going to cost me money to go to work in the summer!" each year.

Northernlurker · 10/11/2011 19:23

I agree Dilys. Tis most astonshing. As is the number of people who cannot see that yes you have to pay for childcare NOW but by keeping your career going you will be much, much better off in a few years.

callmemrs · 10/11/2011 19:48

Nervous of leaving your children? Oh ffs, you've totally lost any chance of sympathy now

Many women return to work when their child is 3 months/ 6 months or if they are very lucky and can afford to take some unpaid maternity leave, 12 months.

Yet you whinge about the prospect of leaving them when they are 7 years!

Your sense of entitlement knows no bounds.

And anyway, this isn;t all about YOU. You may feel you have the right to sit at home doing bugger all until you feel 'okay' about your 7 year olds being picked up by a childminder, and until you have some fabulous chance to retrain to do something that exactly suits you. But you don't. The rest of the world isn't there to bankroll your ridiculous idea of what youd like.

DilysPrice · 10/11/2011 19:53

Well northern, there are always some people who physically can't afford to work and pay for childcare (normally because their DPs earn ever so slightly too much for benefits to help with childcare) so can't make the otherwise sensible long term choice to suck it up unless they feed the family on baked beans for three years. And I'm very sympathetic to people who get a job in June for some unavoidable reason and immediately run into childcare bill hell without being able to save up. But that is not normally the case.

usualsuspect · 10/11/2011 19:57

Oh dear, predictable reactions if nothing else

Anyway ,good luck op because theres naff all jobs out there

usualsuspect · 10/11/2011 19:58

The taxpayers are frothing

callmemrs · 10/11/2011 20:31

Yes, how unreasonable to expect an able bodied adult with 7 year old kids to work. I mean good grief whatever next.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

MeconiumHappens · 10/11/2011 20:57

Get a job. Other people manage it, school hours or no school hours.

HoorahHilda · 10/11/2011 21:18

Talk about vipers nest .This is a first time poster . Horrible . Nobody knows the back story either . Stop judging .

callmemrs · 10/11/2011 21:30

She gave us quite a bit of back story actually.

She complains that there are 'not many jobs which fit my criteria' and tells us that she'd really like to work between 10 and 2 pm but not any school holidays because 'I refuse to pay for childcare'.

As I said: hahahahahahahahahaha

Portofino · 10/11/2011 21:36

I haad my arse totally flamed the first time I posted here! I name changed. You need to be robust I think - or not entitled at least......

mjinprechristmasfrenzy · 10/11/2011 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bananaistheanswer · 10/11/2011 22:40

OP you would be surprised just how much your twins would enjoy childcare. My DD is 6, and I started her in after school care just after easter this year (so still p1) and she loves it. Ask your DD's school for details of the after school care and check it out. Maybe leave your girls for an hour and see how they get on. If your fear is down to leaving your children with 'someone else' then do what you need to, to get over that fear. ASC is not a draconian, horrible set up for kids of parents who work. It can be a great experience for kids to get the chance to play and let loose after school for a couple of hours. Don't view this as an obstacle, as it's only one if you let it be.

RockChick1984 · 14/11/2011 06:06

I'm not going to comment on my opinion of the op, everything I Think has been said already. However, working 10-2 term time only, could you not apply to schools to be a dinner lady? Hardly the most glamorous job but I know that on my local council's website there's always at least 1 or 2 schools looking for 'mid day assistants'.

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