Beginnning to HATE HATE HATE my job and feel sick all the time.

[wine0]

I am a teacher and have been for around 10 years. I've always loved my job and have enjoyed making a difference through teaching. Our previous head left in Summer and our new head started in september.

She is a real ball-braker. Has already found weaknesses in TAs and is already doing what she can to get them out. Although i've always had good observations and my teaching as always been ok i am feeling under immense pressure to dot every single i and cross every single t which in teaching i find absolutely impossible. My inbox is just never ending and i feel like im drowning.

We as teachers have had huge amounts of pressure put on us and i spend hours and hours out of school hours working as well as bringing up 2 children and running our family home.

My half term will consist of working for most of it and getting stressed about the next half term.

I know if her previous school she 'goit rid' of several staff on competancy and had a couple on longterm sick when she left.

She makes me very very anxious and i don't trust her at all. She has made it quite clear that she stands for nothing and her ONLY priority is results and the children.

Although nothing yet has happened already some teachers are brown nosing and its working whillst the rest of us are plodding on waiting for the stab in the back. She's already had people in (including myself) to talk to and make clear that if we are not with her we are against her. I know that because of the job teaching is it would be easy for her to start picking at little things and making holes into everything in order to get you on competancy.

I've just finished for half term and instead of relacing about my impending weeks break i'm feeling sick, not being able to sleep.

I would love to just hand my notice in but financially this just isn't possible. I'm not sure really what i'm expecting from this but i'm just so unhappy after 10years of a wonderful head to have it replaced with this uncompasionate woman.

Wow - quite a few threads like this at the moment. Unfortunately just because someone has been put in a management position does not mean that they are actually any good at managing and getting the best from staff.

At the moment - nothing has happened except a disturbing talk in her office, so dont let the fear and anxiety rule your attitude to school. Keep doing the best job you can do, be proud of it, and dont show weakness!

You dont have to dot every i and cross every 't', but it might be worth you while to keep track of your accomplishments as they come along - ideas you have implemented successfully, children or parents you have helped through particularly difficult situations, how you have handled tricky situations etc. etc. anything 'good' jot down in your diary - then you will have plenty of ammunition should she start trying to undermine you further down the track.

Also - keeping a record of your accomplishments is always a good thing - you can look at it when you are feeling stressed out and realise you really do make a difference.

We have been ofsted since coming back in Sept and it was rated good. there are lots of unhappy staff and i think because we know of her history lots of us are feeling anxious and so either going down the route of brown nosing, going to her with gossip about other members of staff or just putting your head down. I am in the latter category but have been taken in to talk about my future etc and how i'm either with her or against her. Based on gossips going to her because they've over heard TA's talking or myself talking to staff members generally about the uneasiness of staff at the moment.

I just feel this is the start of what could be a very bumpy road for a number of us. She is a very clever head and has 'form' - i am worried even though nothing YET as happened.

Good idea about the diary - thanks

can't seem to get rid of the sick feeling and wanting to cry. Just wish i could tell her to stuff her job and stay at home with my babies.

Is there any supply work in your area? You could look into it as an "escape route" if things continue to deteriorate. A friend of mine did this for a year after things at her school became intolerable. She found it tough financially but got lots of new experience and it saved her sanity.

Will this head stay at school for long, or does she do a year or two, upset everyone and then go off somewhere else?

She sounds quite awful. Good luck xx

However hard this is and however much it goes against the grain, my best advice would be to get on her good side as you can't afford to give up. Tell her you have been teaching for 10 years and love it etc etc etc. Don't tell her that you are feeling stressed becuase she sounds the type who would hold it against you but tell her that it is impossible to do everything 100% to the letter and find out what the most important factors for her are. Show her you are working with her and actually she is probably the type who will respond well. Good luck.

Thanks everyone. Will keep up updated on how it goes. I'm in work this week and the thoughts of it just fill me with horror.

I agree with luckylavendar, keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. I was in a similar situation and applied the same mentality. It made my every day life so much easier. In the mean time you could be looking for alternative employment. I have to say that most jobs are more pressured and more stressful now than ten years ago. Apparently it's progress.

Have you had a chat with your union about it? They might have some suggestions about how to handle this maniac!

I have a friend in an almost identical situation.

I agree with showing the head you are working with her -(brown nosing, yes) but if it's what you have to do to survive this horrid situation, then it may be the only way.

Have you been at this school for 10 years? If so, then it would be quite reasonable to look for a change of job. A high staff turnover wont exactly make the head look good.

Are you in a private school?
Primary or secondary?

How long have you been at the school? I'd say look for another job, if I'm honest. Heads like this can be very stressful (I worked for one several years back, nearly broke a few of us).

Don't assume that she is going to dislike you though. Whatever her motives, she wants the school to look good. If you do your job well (as you say you do) and don't bitch about her to anyone (the walls have ears) then she will use you to her advantage.

Even if she does hunt you down for whatever reason, it's not personal.

I think perfectly reasonable to look for a new job as well -
and work out other ways to cut down your stress - eg can you fit a bit more exercise - get DH to do more etc

I am in this situation only a few steps further down the line than you. I am currently being 'done for competency' and honestly wished I had run when this all started.

Put it this way, I am currently having a panic attack over whether or not to try and postpone the capability meeting I have tomorrow as they massively changed what is going to be discussed. It's that or rewrite a whole new defence which will take several hours and I have been at work all day. I am looking at having to apply for new jobs without a positive reference or quiting and becoming self employed before I have a full on breakdown.

Seriously run. It is so easy and so devestating to be done on competency.

IME, working for a bully like this is very wearing. Even very competant, experienced members of staff can soon become demoralised and start to doubt their abilities.

I think keeping a record of your positive accomplishments is a very good idea-especially if your competancy is ever in question.

Also, find an up-to-date list of 'competancies' for teachers in your position (ie. Primary/secondary, management responsibilities, etc), and check regularly that you are keeping up with all of them, so that you are able to argue your point at any time if necessary. I would probably print off the list and highlight each one as you realise you are doing it. That way, if there are any areas that you have a tendency to let 'slide', YOU will see it before SHE does, and be able to rectify things before they become an issue.

In addition, I think it would be worth talking to your union and telling them what you have told us- that you have been told 'if you aren't with her you're against her'. (I don't even know what that is supposed to mean. This is a school, FFS, not a battleground! That statement in itself would set alarm bells ringing for any union!). It would also be an idea to get other members of staff to do the same, if you can talk freely to them, as otherwise you run the risk of being a 'lone voice'.

You also need to tell the union about the treatment of the 4 TAs, and if you have that sort of relationship with the TAs, check that they are in a union. They should be, but sometimes people aren't aware of the need until they are in this sort of situation. Many unions will only represent people on issues that arise after the person joins, so everyone needs to get representation quickly.

In this sort of situation, the manager gets results by using the most disgraceful 'divide and rule' tactics. It is bullying, and it is, believe it or not, a sign of a very weak leader (one who hasn't the confidence to tackle issues in a fair and transparent way). She is banking on the fact that everyone will be terrified of losing their jobs, and no-one talking to each other about their worries for fear of recriminations and gossip. If you can gather together, you will find strength in numbers.

Poor you HannahHack!

Definitely agree you should look for a new job.

In the meantime, play the game. Be as helpful as you can and keep your head down. Don't talk to anyone at work about how you feel or what you are planning. No one at work is your friend (i.e. people cannot keep their traps shut!). Do not stress about the situation. You will be out of it soon enough and will have a lovely new job!

Best of luck.

x

Poor, poor you. Make sure you know who your union rep is in school. (PLEASE say you're in a union?) If by unfortunate chance your rep is one of the brown nosers, be aware you are free to contact your local rep off your own back - they WILL help you and they WILL make sure you are not hounded out. I know EXACTLY what you mean about teaching being the kind of job where they could easily have you for something. NO teacher in the world gets EVERYTHING done - we all let some of the less important things slip, but a bully of a Head will use this against you.

DO write down any incident that happens in a dated diary. Please email if you want any advice - I'm a union rep and have recent extensive experience of union rep's roles in these kind of cases.
x

HannahHack poor you. That sounds unbearable and certainly more than anyone deserves. Panic attacks = got to go. I hope you're ok.

Wine0 you've had some great advice here. Hope it goes well for you.

x

BTW I was in similar position a few years ago. I got a good job a year ago without a positive reference (apparently the head didn't write anything negative, she just didn't write anything at all), and I'd resigned a management position to do supply for two terms.

It wasn't ideal, but it is possible.

some great advice from many - thankyou. hannahHack i'm so sorry for your pain. This is the exact thing i am so worried about. I am well aware that getting a teacher on competancy is extremely easy for heads because teaching is so pressurized anyway and everything can't be done.

Just in the last 4 weeks alone my confidence about my own capabilities have dipped tremendously without actually anything having happened just from the school staff whispers, things happening to some of the poor TAs and the clear uncompassionate ethos this head is bringing across.

The conversation with my head last week pretty much confirmed that this woman takes no prisoners and all the things she is renouned for has been proven in the one conversation. She is a smiling assassin imo and i think unless you are an outstanding teacher busting a gut for her cause you are out by whatever means she can.

I am a job-share, currently sharing with a lady on a temp 1 year contract. she was told 2 weeks ago that class sharing isn't her ideal (heads) and her contract (my job share other half) will not be renewed after this year so she must be aware of this. I wasn't aware this conversation had happened. The head had also said that she was hoping to reduce part time teachers as 2 classes in a school was too much (4 of us are job share, 1 temp year on year). This now leads me to believe that from the 3 of us remaining (1 is an outstanding teacher - very anal but very very good, 1 is currently brown nosing and coming in on her days off to be seen around school working seemingingly hard, and the other 1 is me, plodding on doing my job as i've always done on the days i am paid to do it - nothing more nothing less). She is obviously hoping to reduce part time teachers by half so by telling the temp she'll be not having her contract renewed (she was very relived though and said she would not be staying either way) that leaves 1 out of the remaining 3 of us to 'go'.

I know this situation is not going to get any better, I am in the union (thankfully) but we haven't got a union rep at school (should we have)?
I'm not sure what i would achieve at this stage by going to the union with nothing much more than an uneasy confrontation and the feelings of uneasiness around school. I feel i could make my situation (if my fears become a reality) worse if it was to get back to her.

I've looked for jobs already but i'm so expensive (UPS2 and TLR)...basically at the top of my scale) and also it would mean teaching full time which i really don't want to do as my children come first (does this sound bad) teaching imo is for a man or a woman without children or single. It is job that requires a 60hr working week during term time. I just cannot give that commitment with a young family and i am lucky my husband and i can afford not too. So my options are supply (but i'm not flexible in the days i can work, as dont' have on the tap childcare) or jumping ship and trying to get a job outside of teaching and having a career break (not sure my husband would be happy if i was to suggest this and lose my £22K a year job)

Sorry for rambling on - I just don't know what the next half term will bring but i know that for many of us it's not going to be good :(

Some excellent advice on here.
All I can add is perhaps the head might settle into her role? And if you can remain positive(confident!), tick all the right boxes and back this up then hopefully things will work out.

In meantime keep job hunting as hopefully the right one will come up!

Try another school. I'm UPS2 and TLR and I don't work anywhere near 60 hours a week!

But that's just this school. In previous schools I had to. Some schools have different work ethics.

Can you get some advise from the union as to your work life balance?

TBH she is being unreasonable if you are having to work that many hours!

OP, have faith that the right job at the right level for the right number of hours is out there. You only need one job!

This Head sounds horrid. Good managers lead and inspire not bully their staff. I think you will best off out of it all. Reframe the situation in your mind and put yourself in control of the situation. This woman has no power over you (although you can let her think she has!).

I really feel for you. Keep a diary of anything that happens which upsets you. It sounds like bullying to me and also if you become demoralised then it is will become affect your job and the children.

Hold your head up high. The children are important but why should you go to school feeling upset.

I work in a school and I was upset a few weeks back. As my DH rightly pointed out the school has a duty of care towards its staff and making you feel unhappy and stressed for no real reason is just not on.

Try and hang in there and hold your head up high. you sound very competent and caring and I hate the way these bullying women (usually) get away with this in education.