Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

freelancers' watercooler: anyone else feel like they don't have a "proper" job?

168 replies

hatwoman · 30/08/2011 09:25

I feel in need of a multiple water cooler rant...please join in

summer holidays: juggling and muddling, falling behind, not doing anything properly. I'm so ready for term to start...can't believe it's another week

dh's climbing trip and my deadlines: just as the school holidays ends and I should be able to back to normal routine (working full day Mon and Thur, school hours the other days) dh is going off climbing for a week. I have two deadines in 3 weeks' time, one of which involves standing up infront of a load of people and talking about the work I've been doing over the summmer Hmm

wishing I had a proper job: oh I know all the pluses but I just want an office and colleagues and working hours and child care.

please talk to me and tell me I'm not alone

OP posts:
motherinferior · 30/08/2011 09:31

I feel your pain.

Am about to start Proper Job for the first time in over a decade - I've done in-house stints, but nothing full-time since long before having DD1; it's rather a shock, but the chance to earn real money and have a focus and a cast-iron reason why I can't drop everything and run to the school gate for any minor emergency is so thrilling....

Original poster
hatwoman · 30/08/2011 09:32

oh exciting MI. where what how? pm me if you prefer not to be public. when do you start?

OP posts:
MarshaBrady · 30/08/2011 09:36

Yes, there are big benefits to freelancing from home. But I feel like I am leading the project from afar whilst pretending not to do so as someone else is meant to be.

Far too convoluted for me. I sometimes have a strong desire just to get on with it from the office.

motherinferior · 30/08/2011 09:36

Have PMd you. Start properly mid-Sept. I'll still have bits of freelance work to get through but am determinedly looking forward to the whole structure of it.

motherinferior · 30/08/2011 09:37

And while I wake in the night worrying about holidays, I've so mangled work/childcare this hols...

Original poster
hatwoman · 30/08/2011 11:09

sings "just the three of us...." (which is one of those really annoying tunes - it sticks in your head but, for me anyway, only the one line does as I can't remember the rest of the tune)

OP posts:
BeckyBendyLegs · 01/09/2011 19:34

I've come to join you at the watercooler if that's ok. I've found working this school hols a nightmare. My children probably hate me for hardly taking them out on day trips etc, when their friends have all been to local museums and Thomas Land and the like. DS3 seems to think my laptop is an extra limb, and I've found the guilt at friends offering to have them so I can work quite hard (DS3 goes to a childminder once a week and my friends keep offering to have the other two while he's there). Ho hum. Rant over! School starts next week so it will be easier again :)

Original poster
hatwoman · 01/09/2011 22:33

hello becky. it's so hard isn;t it? I;ve actually managed quite a few day trips etc - but it's my "working" days, when dh is at home, which I find a real struggle. it's so hard to concentrate and get stuff done. so hard to be officially "at work". it's the worst thing about freelancing. just one more day!

OP posts:
BeckyBendyLegs · 02/09/2011 11:29

I do feel very lucky though as I can attend school events easily, can be at school in ten minutes if someone is ill, can be here for deliveries etc and do not have to pay out much in childcare (at the moment just childminder for DS3 and compared to nursery fees I think the cost is quite reasonable). Today everyone is out thanks to lovely friends and PILs so they are having a good day and I can get some work done!

NormaSnorks · 02/09/2011 19:16

Oh please... can I join you too?

I have found these holidays so hard too. I had such good intentions about doing multiple educational trips to London/ the theatre/ exhibitions etc and in the end I've completely muddled through, with the kids spending most of their time at friends houses, or with friends here.

I didn't want to do anything until next week when they're back to school, but a really good 'in-road' to a bigger project came up, so I ended up doing a day last week and two this week. DH was all keen as we could do with the cash, and promised to take them out for the day yesterday. But then of course he got all huffy & puffy about it Angry and couldn't understand why I was getting annoyed with the kids barging into my office (at home) and screeching & fighting all the time...

I also crave the 'proper job' but then remember how stressed I was trying to sneak off for kids' things at school.

fivegomadindorset · 02/09/2011 19:33

Me too. I have an interview for a proper job next week.

TalkinPeace2 · 02/09/2011 20:32

ebay was my water cooler for many years (take the 2 off my name and I'm like measles on the internet)
am counting the hours till the kids go back to school, I go back to yoga and swimming and DH starts earning money again!

breadandbutterfly · 02/09/2011 22:00

Hello, another one here.

Kids went back today, sort of. Properly on Mon.

I planned to take the summer off, so to speak, but one of my employers emailed me work on holiday and asked me to return it by 3 days after my return! I pointed out this wasn't going to happen, so the deadline was generously extended till the end of the month. Still not done. I think the stress has contributed to my being quite ill - ended up in A&E with major asthma attack - huge stress of big piece of work on top of family stuff not helpful. People seem to imagine that if you do work as and when that youy're always available - at least in a proper job you can just book it as leave and people know you're not there. V stressful. :(

bigbadbarry · 02/09/2011 22:21

Can I join? I've just been trying to do 2 hours a day over the summer, just to keep on top of it - next week DD1 is back to school, DD2 is starting school... And DD3 has just decided to drop her sodding nap! Arg. Which puts me back to working evenings.

bigbadbarry · 02/09/2011 22:21

Can I join? I've just been trying to do 2 hours a day over the summer, just to keep on top of it - next week DD1 is back to school, DD2 is starting school... And DD3 has just decided to drop her sodding nap! Arg. Which puts me back to working evenings.

TheRhubarb · 02/09/2011 22:29

I want to join in too! Have juggled kids all holidays whilst working goodness knows how many hours. Have gone most of my work when dh came home but of course they expect me to cook tea as well because hey, I've been at home all day!

What pisses me off is when he says "if you're in town today can you pay the car tax because it's due today" Yeah cause I'm not working, I'm just pissing about in town and then when I say no he piles on the guilt saying how he doesn't get home in time for the Post Office and it's too late to do it online. Well tough shit mate, should have thought about that beforehand!

I also have to put up with friends texting "can I come for coffee?" or just popping round because I'm at home all day. If I could rent an office I would, I really would because I think it might just make all the difference.

And I second the holiday thing. People assume I access emails via my phone, which I don't and that even when on holiday I'm going to reply to them, which I won't. Being self-employed means to most that you are available 24/7 and the family expect the same. It drives me round the sodding bend!

Thank you for allowing me to rant!

fivegomadindorset · 02/09/2011 22:34

I have had to abandon job number 3 for the holidays, DH can cope with me doing job number 2 and have caught up on books for our business, just difficult when DC's keep wandering in. Feeling guilty though about applying for full time jobs, but financially we need it and DH will do B&B/SAHD bit.

fivegomadindorset · 02/09/2011 22:36

Oh and Maternity leave? What maternity leave?

Novascotia33 · 03/09/2011 09:18

oh lordy, how I agree with you all, having said that I would have to be down to my last penny before I considered working for somebody else again.

My little people are just 3 and 18months, so I'm looking forward to how much I'll be able to get done once they're both in school. But, they're both fast asleep by 6:45 in the evening and I can work all night and not feel guilty. I guess once they're older, I wont be able to do that.

Pre-school and childminder starts next week, so looking forward to getting back into a routine.

Would agree it's completely annoying how people assume you're free for coffee because you work from home. Or somehow just sort of think you haven't got a 'real job', and that includes husbands! The money it brings in is real enough for spending though right! geeeez.

Is there chatroom for people who work from home, i'd often like someone other than the cat to have a natter with while I'm working, but then again, I'd probably get no work done if I was gassing in a chat room all day.

BeckyBendyLegs · 03/09/2011 10:47

Bigbadbarry I am not looking forward to my DS3 dropping his nap as that is my prime work time every day - my guaranteed two-three hours (he's a good sleeper, touch wood).

Totally agree how friends who don't work, mum, in-laws etc, think I can drop everything and go shopping / have coffee because I work from home and it's not a 'proper' job it's just for pocket money. Also, my mummy friends do understand what I do, they think I'm a proofreader (job title is Editorial Project Manager - do mostly online academic publishing).

I talk to the cats when I'm working... I'd go mad if I didn't, or the postman.

BeckyBendyLegs · 03/09/2011 10:50

Rhubard0 I laughed about your 'if you're in town' thing. I get that all the time, or 'can you ring the garage and book my car in for an MOT, I've got meetings all day so I won't have the chance'. My DH does that to me all the time for various things. I also have to take the car, pick up the car, etc.

LawrieMarlow · 03/09/2011 10:55

I never know where I fit in the world of work - probably not here either Grin.

Do various different jobs which are seasonal (all to do with exams where I invigilate some for schools and university, mark some others for an accountancy board and mark other ones for an accountancy college). Am on the payroll for some of them and self employed for others. Main part of work is between April and July when there is always some more work I could be doing. Some I do at home, invigilating I obviously go to the place where the exam is and the college marking I go down to London to. Children either have me around a lot or get shunted around the place, or have grandparents and/or after school club when I am away.

Overall I like it more than I would a "usual" job where I had fixed hours and a generally lower salary (when I do work it can be at good rates) but I do feel I go from all to nothing sometimes.

BeckyBendyLegs · 03/09/2011 11:06

I'm feeling grumpy today because it is Saturday and people with proper jobs don't work on a Saturday but I often have to. But I wouldn't change things, I am soooo lucky to be able to do this work at home, 100 miles from my employer as well.

Do you all feel you have a good work/life/children balance?

bigbadbarry · 03/09/2011 11:29

Beckybendylegs people think I am a proofreader too :)

TalkinPeace2 · 03/09/2011 17:14

Email
turn off mobile email.
if it cannot wait 40 minutes then the sender needs to get a life
ALL email is downloaded to my office PC - not even a laptop
I do not do web mail unless I'm abroad and its near a major HMRC deadline
I reply to emails at lunchtime and between 3 and 4 in the afternoon
my mobile accepts texts but is often out of battery
both DH and I work the same system. It HAS NOT impacted on our bookings over the past 13 years
people have to learn to think for themselves and be less "immediate"

I came home from a few days away and it was astounding how many of the crises in the 135 unread emails had resolved themselves in my absence