WRt to looking after sick children, what on earth do you do when you have no 'alternative' arrangements...?

[willnamechangejustforthis]

Have very recently returned from mat leave and now have two children, 4 and 9 months.

For the sake of context, I work in the public sector, have done for years. Job stressful and I've often had X2 the caseload I 'should' have, often taken on higher grade duties to help out, always had excellent appraisals etc etc. Relevant I feel as it demonstrates that I want to 'give' not just take iykwim!

Befor I went on mat leave this time the rules regarding 'emergency' or carers leave were changed, and instead of parents being able to access up to 5 days leave it has been reduced to one day, and the expectation being that you 'find alternative childcare' in these situations.

Well I understand fully that this is not unreasonable but I am having a lot of trouble explaining to my line manager (who incidentally doesnt have kids, neither does the manager above her!!) that we have literally no access to 'alternative' childcare. No family whatsoever nearby and no friends who i would feel able to ask to look after a child who was not fit to go to nursery.

I have offered to ringfence one weeks a/l even tho if I dont use it I will lose it at the end of the tax year. But in the back of my mind I am just constantly worrying about what I will do if one or both of them is sick for more than five days in the yar (likely!!). I would even take unpaid leave but I feel the very fact of taking unplanned leave is now unacceptable.

To be honest, I cant afford not to work and I dont want to give it up as I have put such a lot of my life into it but the reality is people who have kids will sometimes have to take unpaid leave, to deny this is to deny a fundamental fact of human life!!

Am considering maybe just ringing in sick myself as it would be a lot less hassle!!

You are entitled to unpaid leave to care for dependents. They can't stop you.

here

I call in sick myself! Then when I'm I'll I drag my sorry arse intO work. Bloody tough going but I can't afford to take unpaid parental leave.

Your contract should state what your terms are.

Not sure it's true that they must give you unlimited unpaid time off but willing to be corrected.

Parental leave rights are a different case

There is certainly no reason that your employer should give you paid leave for this ... Why shouldpay the cost of your childcare issues.

georgimama parental leave is quite different from unplanned leave for sick children.

i have no emergency car either so wrong aws it may be i also ring in sick, if i did not i would have no annual leave for proper rest and holiday and would probably end up soick myself.

If you actually read the link it also covers unpaid leave for dependents. I didn't say they have to give unlimited time off. But hey, where's the fun in responding to what people actually write?

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/Timeoffandholidays/DG_10026555

This is the link to the relevant info on directgov.

It's really up to the employer what is "reasonable". At work we allow three days in a year to make alternative arrangements.

I have also allowed people to waive the usual notice required to take annual leave when their kids are I'll, as long as we can cover the work
another way.

Hi thanks for the replies!

hairy I do agre they dont have to and shouldnt have to give paid leave, but I think to say it is for 'childcare issues' is to misrepresent things a bit to be honest.
Normally I have no 'issues' as we pay over a thousand pounds a month for good quality reliable childcare, but if one of the children is really too sick to be able to go then in my opinion they are sick enough to need me or DP (tho he is crap at looking after them when ill).

It would feel much more realistic iof they acknowledged thst yes, your kids will get sick, we will not make you feel guillty/inadequate/like your underperforming if this happens but will recognise it is part of the human condition!

hey ho!

Sorry Georgi the link you provided was about the legal entitlement to parental leave! That is different.

The issues do get very blurred for parents so I thought it was worth making the distinction, before op or others confused the right to parental leave with the right to time off for dependants.

if the dc's are ill I ring in sick for myself, and never say its because they are ill

loolah can I ask why this is, is it because it is deemed unacceptable or because you would have to take unpaid leave?

we share out sick days in an emergency - whoever's got the easiest diary stays home. whoever is at home will still answer calls and email. we;ve also both agreed that we go in on the other's day off if needed (we're public sector). thankfully, the dc are pretty healthy and it hasn't happened too often. worst was chickenpox back to back for four weeks - annual leave covered some; granny came to stay and we worked opposite each other (both 9-5 but can fall into shifts 24/7 as long as we don't claim unsocial pay)

we do have the same employer and they are very good with accruing TOIL and giving it back, so despite us using carer days, we get them paid as the TOIL is there to cover. will all change over the next year as we're heading for a merger with a larger organisation who aren't so flexible.

Does your DH take a turn to be home with them if they are sick? That could share the burden somewhat.

I understand your predicament and its a difficult one.

ring in sick. DD has had 19 days off school since Sept so thank goodness I don't have a permanent job :(

Interesting twinkly, I had the facility to work from home until relatively recently, it worked brilliantly and I was able to do more thsn my paid hoiurs if needed, but now they have withdrawn it accross the board, would have been so helpful in cases wher DC were ill as there is always time when they are sleeping etc to get on and do essential stuff.

Bit complivated with DP's work, if he is not there then shortly after things start to(literally) grind to a halt. They do 'shutdowns' where he works so holidays arent an issue but unplanned leave is a major issue. having said that he has taken time off but realistically can only take max one dday at a time and even that causes major disruption.

Give it a rest will you! What's your beef with me all of a sudden!? - you made an untrue statement and I tried to clear it up to help the op.

Blimey, georgi, that's a bit uncalled for...

You - or your DP or DH - suck it up and take annual leave. If you claim to be ill yourself, when you are not, you are committing fraud.

I'm shocked at the number of people who say they phone in sick when their kids are ill. Do people have no conscience?

I have disciplined a woman who claimed to be sick when she was actually looking after a sick child. Sorry, but it's not on.

I allow staff to take annual leave when their kids are ill, or if they prefer, I let them make up the hours elsewhere in the week. Unpaid leave would also be an option.

What magic said.

As far as I'm aware any carers leave in my job (NHS) is unpaid. We don't have practical alternative arrangements either, grannies live that bit too far to be able to look after DS for more than a day. Touch wood so far I've only had one day off with a sick DS, but I know that'll change at some point. My view is if my child is sick, then I have no choice but to stay at home and look after him. If work take issue with this, then I'll deal with it.

I'm also shocked at those who lie and claim they are sick. A poor sickness record can lead to dismissal not to mention being forced to get sick notes due to the number of random times off.

Emergency leave is just that, a day or two at most unpaid. If longer is needed, most employers will let annual leave be booked at short notice.