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Original poster

Leaving without a goodbye

45 replies

whyknotty · 04/02/2011 10:39

I am about to be made redundant from a job I love Sad

I've said goodbye to the other staff member by popping in as we haven't worked the same days for a while.

As it's a small business and both employees are being laid off, the boss will have to cover all the hours after our departure, and revert to working 6 days a week.

Knowing that their previously spare time will become non- existent, they have informed me that they will not be in on my last day.

So I'll work alone for that day, lock up and hand in the keys later.

I'm trying to look at it from their (practical) POV but I feel so upset. I could ask to see them but it feels needy?, and it's kind of tainted now anyway IYSWIM Sad

What can I do to make the last day easier?

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/02/2011 10:54

box of chocoltes, take a radio in and turn it up and dance round the office

fart on the managers keyboard

Original poster
whyknotty · 04/02/2011 11:29

custardo Grin

Radio is on anyway. Chocs sounds good.

We actually get on really well, have got a glowing reference and had no hard feelings.

Can't quite get my head round just being on my own (with customers) on my last day Confused

Tell me I'm being daft.

OP posts:
Original poster
whyknotty · 04/02/2011 20:13

A small and sad bump

OP posts:
hairyfairylights · 04/02/2011 20:36

loving the fart on the managers keyboard suggestion Grin.

A good friend once suggested I poop in my managers in tray - used to keep me amused when she was being a cow.

No serious suggestions to offer, but I feel for you OP.

Original poster
whyknotty · 04/02/2011 20:52

I am just really gobsmacked that they would think that's an ok way to end my employment with them. It's not illegal but it seems wrong on so many levels.

Won't say anything to them now but not sure if I should when I've cooled off a bit. Or would that be undignified? Confused

OP posts:
forasong · 04/02/2011 21:25

Whyknotty as hard as it is, keep your dignity. You never know, you might need them for a reference.

Really appalling though on so many levels.

What if you reacted badly to the redundancy and trashed the place? Not that I am saying you would but why would you be expected to lock up on your last day?

Have you been offered any support to help find a new job?

Fart and sneeze on the managers keyboard.

Spill sticky coffee on his phone.

Sneak into the drinks cabinet.

Raid the biscuit tin.

...See I could never be trusted on my last day alone.

Original poster
whyknotty · 04/02/2011 21:37

They've already written me a glowing reference, which was sent to me for approval. The signed copy will be waiting for me, along with other official paperwork apparently.

It's a shop, we are both the only keyholders. I'll probably drop the keys in on my way to the Jobcentre.

They've offered to be supportive, but nothing practical.

Boss is female btw.

OP posts:
forasong · 04/02/2011 21:40

Good point Knotty. Bad of me to use his instead of his/her.

Sorry you have not had support.

Good that you have a good reference,

Good luck in the job hunt!

Original poster
whyknotty · 04/02/2011 21:42

Thanks, I'm gonna need it!

My confidence does not match my capabilities atm Confused

OP posts:
tribpot · 04/02/2011 22:19

Very sad you will have no-one to say goodbye to. What about getting a tin of Roses and offering them to customers as they come in that day? Or even being the bigger person (not that I think they deserve it) and leave a card for the managers in the office, thanking them for the employment and wishing them all the best in the future?

Personally I would at least pop in with some flowers to say goodbye to you, it does seem a bit heartless :(

Grevling · 05/02/2011 00:10

Have you ever thought that maybe she is as upset at the crumbling of her retail empire as much as you are?

Sometimes people don't deal with things as a way of dealing with things and maybe she doesn't want you to go but can't afford to keep you?

Original poster
whyknotty · 05/02/2011 09:45

tribpot leaving a card is exactly what I would have done. I don't feel like it now.
Heartless sums it up. I know there should be no sentiment in business, but I feel that is beyond decent limits.

grevling that is exactly why I am being made redundant, and I have been very supportive. I insisted on her cutting our hours a couple of months ago in a bid to avoid redundancies.
Consequently, I'll get less redundancy money but that's unimportant.

We're all upset, but this has made it worse for me Sad

OP posts:
forasong · 05/02/2011 10:45

Whyknotty I hope you can concentrate on your future. The card is a good idea. I would leave a card for sure.

I think there is sentiment in business, relationships are important.

I think it is appalling that your boss could not have the decency to thank you before you finished on your last day.

How you let someone go, and how you leave a job is as important as how you start one.

tribpot · 05/02/2011 10:51

I agree with forasong, there is room for sentiment in business. Apart from anything else, you never know when you may cross paths again in the future.

As a manager the thing I dread most is having to make redundancies. Fortunately I'm not managing staff at the moment so even if/when the axe falls at my organisation I won't have to do it. So that extent I sympathise with your boss, but if I had to do it I would want to do it gently. Maybe your boss can't face you but it's worse for you than it is for them!

gillybean2 · 05/02/2011 11:14

Perhaps ask them if they could pick the keys up from you on your last day as you're not sure when you'll be able to get them back to them otherwise. Or tell them you don't think you're going to handle it terribly well and would really appreciate some company/help for the last hour if nothing else.

They may be feeling it's better to leave you in peace rather than make a big song and dance about it which will only upset you and them more.

I know we've been talking in the office about the people who are leaving this month (redundancies) and opinion is divided on what to do on their last day. When people leave we tend to do a 'sorry you're leaving card' and an evening out for a meal/drinks but this doesn't feel right for redundancies somehow.
Opinion is divided on what to do.
For me personally if it were me going I would like some kind of recognition and a 'good luck' type card but not an evening out. Others want a big piss up to drown their sorrows. I think it's impossible to find a 'right' way to handle it.

Are you certain your boss won't turn up as you're locking up? And would you be more upset it she did or if she didn't and you were hoping she would surprise you...

TallulahDoesTheHula · 05/02/2011 11:25

Has she already said her goodbyes and thank you to you?
From what you've said she is struggling with her business and is sad to have to let you go. It also sounds like she has made it clear to you how much she appreciated your work (by doing glowing reference etc).

I think by putting so much store into her not being there on your last day, that you may be thinking too much about a small part of it?

From her point of view - she is close to losing her business, she has sadly had to let go 2 staff and will now have to work every day by herself to keep it ticking over. She's probably got a million and one things to do in her last day off before working full time in the shop just to help keep the business going (see bank manager, advertising, accounts etc). Perhaps she feels her time would be more productively spent doing that instead of coming into the shop today when you are there so she is not needed and she has already said thank you, good bye and how sorry she is to see you go? iyswim

forasong · 05/02/2011 11:53

Tallulah- I think if the owner had thanked the OP then the OP would not have written her post, but maybe I am wrong.

Personally I can't think of too many things that are more important than expressing gratitude to your employees, especially if you have had to make them redundant and they have lost their livelihood. Even if you did have something important surely you would call in and explain or ask someone to relay a msg that you were sorry you were busy.

Original poster
whyknotty · 05/02/2011 13:04

gillybean, I live locally so have to pass the shop to reach the Jobcentre. I do wonder if it's emotional avoidance IYSWIM.

Tallulah, her POV is pretty well summed up in your last paragraph.

I have been thanked in the letter detailing the formalities, which was emailed to me before the hard copy was left for me to sign.

There have been no face to face goodbyes/thanks/handshakes/hugs or whatever and for me, it matters more than I expected it to Sad

My last day is today and my sisters have sent me a beautiful peace lily which has predictably made me cry.

Have a tin of chocs on the counter- thanks tribpot for that idea.

Only a few more hours. I. will. not. cry. again.

OP posts:
Original poster
whyknotty · 05/02/2011 13:07

And no, I don't think she will turn up at the end of the day, not that I would want her to now.

OP posts:
gillybean2 · 05/02/2011 13:23

:(

We're here with you. And I'm sure you will cry loads more and you shouldn't worry about that at all!

I'm thinking that she may be considering that it will already be upsetting for you all without giving you/her more reason to cry on your last day.

As you need to bring the keys in next week I'm sure she'll say something then instead.

gillybean2 · 05/02/2011 13:42

what time are you going to be closing up the shop?

Original poster
whyknotty · 05/02/2011 13:45

Thanks gillybean Smile

She doesn't do emotional so you're probably right.

Next week would be too late for me I'm afraid, it's very much a missed opportunity.

My sister just suggested that I post the keys but it seems churlish/passive aggressive almost.

Thanks for keeping me company Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
whyknotty · 05/02/2011 13:48

6pm. Be home by 10 past Smile

OP posts:
gillybean2 · 05/02/2011 14:21

ooh you have chocolates! Unfortunately the shop is bound to be miles away from me as I live at the end of nowhere everything seems to be. So will have to just accept a virtual choc for now.
At least you're sister is there/close by for moral support. Is she popping over to see you after work?

Post the keys if it's easier for you. At this point who cares who it may seem like.

Original poster
whyknotty · 05/02/2011 14:24

Have a big tin of Roses, dig in do before I make myself sickGrin

Sisters are here in spirit but about 180 miles away sadly. Coming to see me next weekend though Smile

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